At the Movies: He's Just Not That Into You

At one point, I had plans with 3 different groups to see He's Just Not That Into You, the big screen version of a self-help book based on a Sex and the City episode (you got that?). After the reviews came out, and the critics basically said it was terrible, I cut my viewings down to one...which turned out to be one too many.

HJNTIY is, in a word, insulting. It follows 4 couples at different stages in their relationships. You've got the overly anxious single gal (Ginnifer Goodwin) and the dude who gives her advice about men (Justin Long), the couple who've been dating for 7 years, but the guy "doesn't believe in marriage" (Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck), the married couple who've lost their spark (Jennifer Connolly and Bradley Cooper), and the friends with benefits (Scarlett Johansson and Kevin Connolly), but one of them wants more, and Drew Barrymore, the unlucky in love comic relief (note there's not one "single and happy about it" person in the mix). Essentially, it's every possible set-up for a romantic comedy, ever, but without the charm or, well, romance.

Early on, Goodwin's character (Gigi) tells us all the romantic "fairy tales" women hear about men (deciding after 10 years they do want to be married or couples who get back together after a breakup to find the man completely changed and ready for commitment) are the exception rather than the rule. Gigi is The Rule (as are the women in the audience) and, as such, she must play by "The Rules" i.e. don't call a man, don't seem too interested, let him chase you, etc. etc....the things drilled into the heads of women my age for years. And some of these points are well made. Women shouldn't be with a guy who treats them poorly or who doesn't seem interested or who lies and cheats, but that's not really the problem.

The problem with the film is these "Rules" women become the exceptions. The guy who doesn't believe in marriage [Spoiler Alert] suddenly wants to be married. The fella who is turned off by Gigi's over enthusiasm becomes completely infatuated in return. Also, Gigi, as the central figure for the audience to identify with, is a complete caricature of a woman...needy and completely oblivious about her actions or self-worth.

Then there's the Connolly/Cooper/ScarJo triangle. The lovely Jennifer Connolly spends the entire movie being a bitch, only to forgive her husband for his affair with ScarJo. Later, with the straw that breaks their marriage, she leaves him because he's been lying about smoking. Really? This is the message you want to send? Ladies, if a man cheats on you, try and work it out, but if he lies about something like smoking, especially after we added a convenient line of dialogue to let everyone know you really hate smoking, kick him to the curb. Also, I actually hated ScarJo in this and I never hate ScarJo in anything...not even The Island. Add the dated nature of many of the storylines (really, what 30-something still "dates" through myspace?) and the fact that all the even sort of funny bits are in the trailer and I think you see where I'm going with this. Skip this movie. Save yourself your hard earned cash and your dignity.

Marilyn vs. Jackie

The Mad Men finale was on last night. I haven't watched it yet because I am a grandma and it comes on too late (I probably won't watch it tonight either because I must root for the Rays to avoid their first World Series loss (and don't tell me the Phillies deserve to win. I root for a franchise who's never won a World Series in it's 40 year history. Not winning since 1980 doesn't sound too bad to me), but this post is not about baseball), but, as I sorta mentioned in the comments section Friday, Mad Men has me thinking about women and they way they are, well, lusted after.

Mad Men has three female protagonists: There's Betty Draper (the gorgeous January Jones) who's a Jackie Kennedy...beautiful, matronly, Madonna-esque (as in, the blessed mother, not the dance-hall queen); Joan Holloway (my girl-crush Christina Hendricks) who's a Marilyn Monore...curvy, hyper-sexualized and objectified; and Peggy Olsen (Elizabeth Moss, much cuter in person than on the show) who's neither Jackie or Marilyn as she's pretty much devoid of sexuality and almost masculine in her behavior. Putting Peggy aside, the contrast between Betty Draper and Joan Holloway is nothing new. The feisty, psuedo-sexualized woman vs. the saintly mother has always been around (take Scarlett O'Hara vs. Melanie Hamilton or even Joey Potter vs. Jen Lindley). More often than not, it's Marilyn men want to sleep with and Jackie they want to marry. A very understandable choice, I suppose. Date and bed the exciting, yet difficult woman and marry the more stable, if boring, future mother of your children. Makes sense to me.

But what I find interesting is the attention paid to January Jones and Christina Hendricks in the media. January Jones, porno name aside, may be one of the most traditionally beautiful women, like, ever, but size 10 Christina Hendricks gets all the media attention. In a society where, not long ago, size 0 was established as the standard of beauty, I find this rather encouraging. I know most men have always preferred women with curves over the alternative, but this was not really reflected in popular shows like Friends or in the idolization of someone like Angelina Jolie. I guess my question is, why? What's changed in the past few years to generate more buzz for the busty redhead than the former Abercrombie & Fitch model? Or am I just kidding myself? And, perhaps most importantly, are you really still reading these ramblings? Can you answer any of these questions, dear reader?

Over the Borderline

I think its time we had a chat about Madonna.

She’s been in the news a lot lately, due to her maybe, possibly impending divorce, and her maybe, possibly unholy alliance with Lenny Kravitz to destroy A-Rod’s marriage. She’s denied both, but let’s face it: she’s Madonna. It’s probably all true.

We’ve never really discussed Madge here on the Watchword. Probably because neither me nor Red are huge fans*. I don’t exactly dislike her; I used to, but then I learned to loosen up and embrace the occasional dance song. But we reached a point in our culture long ago where your opinion on Madonna’s music, or videos or latest accent doesn’t really matter; she is part of the social fabric. Like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and fluoride in the water, you can think whatever you want, but Madonna is here to stay.

Point being, Madonna bears discussing. First of all, the recent coverage has brought it to my attention that Madonna will be 50 this August. 50!!! This person is now 50 years old. This boggles my mind. It’s fascinating not only because she’s closer in age to my Mom than me but still looks better than I ever have or will, but because after a 25odd year career, she’s still relevant. Her new single is everywhere and actually pretty good. Ringo Starr can’t say that, and he was a f&*king Beatle! MBA students should study Madonna’s career. We should all study Madonna’s career.

And then there is the social impact. You can deny it all you want, but Madonna has had a social impact and I will fight you like a TechnoViking over this point. A lot of the impact has been bad: there’s a 75 percent chance we wouldn’t have little girls wearing belly shirts that say “SLUT” if it weren’t for Madonna. However, there is also a 30 percent chance we would never have had Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a 9 percent chance we wouldn’t have had two female Secretaries of State without the Material Girl**. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Hillary Clinton and Madonna Louise Ciccone share a thread of DNA.

I’ve actually started thinking lately that lasses my age don’t quite realize the impact Madonna has had on our lives. Madonna released her first single the year I was born (I’ll let you go to wikipedia and do the math), and while she didn’t hit it big until a few years later, that means I’ve kind of never lived in a world without her. She had a hand in the fact that I couldn’t get through a frat party in college without being asked to make out with my friends or dance on a table, but she has also influenced the fact that I’m expected to make something of myself and do it on my own terms. When you think about it, Madonna doesn’t have a great singing voice, and while she’s very pretty, you’ve met people in real life who are on her level of attractiveness. That’s sort of oddly inspirational: she was able to make it big based on smarts and cunning, rather than just being hot. While she used her sexuality (almost exclusively) to get ahead, you always got the impression she was in command of it, not being used for it.

Madonna’s is a mixed legacy to be sure (sort of like the Immaculate Collection, which is still one of the best album titles ever) but I honestly don’t know where we’d be without her. Do you?

(And come on, Like a Prayer is a really good song).



* After conducting some research (i.e., reading my own comments section) I've learned Red actually IS a huge Madonna fan. Sorry, kid. Vogue with your bad self.

**Figures were achieved through a scientific method you would never understand. No, seriously, don’t even ask. You can’t handle it!