Top 5: New Things that Make me Jealous and/or Annoyed

I've done this before, but the world never ceases to create things that make me jealous and/or annoyed, so let's do it again!

Things that Make me Jealous

1. Snow Days - This may come as a surprise to you all, but we never get snowed in here in Southern California. It sucks, man! I want to stock up on food and drinks and sit at home for a few days when I should be working. You people in the rest of the country have all the fun. *hrmpf*

2. Emily Blunt - She's gorgeous and has the cutest boyfriend on the planet. Plus, she's super talented and English. Some people get all the good stuff.

3. Anthony Bourdain - Does anyone in the world have a better job? Do you have any idea how good I would be at traveling the world, being snarky and eating? True calling = missed.

Things that Annoy Me

1. Google Buzz - I totally resent, after successfully avoiding Twitter, that Gmail has essentially forced it upon me...or they did until I figured out how to hide it. +1 Me.

2. Valentine's Day - For the record, it doesn't bug me because I'm single. It bugs me because it's a sham to get people to spend money in February for no really good reason. I'm kinda over all pre-determined gift-giving holidays, actually. If I want to give you a gift, I'll send it to you on May 14th if I want...and you'll like it, damn it!

Sorry. I may have gotten a little carried away.

So what makes you jealous and/or annoyed?

Awkwaaard!

This (mostly) Just In...

Peggy Olsen Marries Fred Armisen - Okay, fine. Elizabeth Moss married Fred Armisen. Why's everybody always gotta remind me Mad Men is, in fact, only a TV show? Geez!

(Pssst...those of you who live in my alternate universe...How do you think Pete and Duck will feel about this?!)

Ricky Gervais to Host the Golden Globes! - Ricky is always amazing. Always. I dare you to name one thing he's not absolutely terrific in. Go ahead...I'll wait...you've got nothing, amirite?

Boom! Roasted!

(I may be misusing that phrase)

Smarter, Younger Wife = Happier Marriage - Some study by the stupid British claims men should marry women at least 5 years younger than themselves to stave off divorce. Great. Just what dudes my age need...further reasons to date co-eds. Though! It does say men should date women smarter than themselves (I love that the article uses Jay-Z and Beyonce as the prime example here and says, "Beyonce has her high school diploma, unlike husband Jay-Z.") So, yeah, stop being intimidated by smart women, you dummies!

(Sorry! I don't know why I'm being so mean today. I really do love you.)

Andrew Lloyd Webber has Cancer - Anyone who knows me, knows I love the musicals (in fact, I was singing Jesus Christ Superstar on my way to work this morning), and ALW is the king, so here's hoping he beats this thing! Get well soon, m'Lord!

Top 5: All Time Gingers

Since this week is apparently "Top 5 List" week, I thought I'd keep it rolling with a list I really can't believe we haven't made yet. Here are my Top 5 Gingers:

Molly Ringwald - The Queen of the 80's teen flick, Molly is my hero for giving Farmer Ted her undies, telling Steff what's what and dancing her ass off in the library.

Jenny Lewis - The Queen of Indie Rock. One of Let's Make Out's best songs at the moment is Jenny's "Acid Tongue."

Conan O'Brien - The funniest Tonight Show host since Carson.

Elizabeth I - My all time hero. Beth the First wouldn't marry because she knew it would mean giving up her power, so she just had dudes write her zillions of love poems instead. One of the OG feminists.

Ron Weasley - So, he's fictional. We still love him more than most real people. And this reminds us HP6 is out in theaters in less than a month! Huzzah!

Your favorite gingers in the comments, please.

The warm British fuzzies. Really!

Our readers tend to know a lot about both Britain and televised singing contests of any kind, so you might have already seen this, but here is some heartwarming news which involves, of all people, Simon Cowell.

This woman, Susan Boyle went on Britain's new Perform-and-be-Judged reality show, Britain's Got Talent. It's like American Idol, without the age limits, and groups and stuff can perform as well. (I think they tried an American version of this at some point).

Anyway, Susan Boyle goes out there, and she's 47 years old, kind of dumpy looking with frazzled hair and thick eyebrows, and she tells the hosts beforehand that she lives alone with her cat and has never even been kissed. Everyone is expecting her to be a delusional disaster who won't be heard from again unless she starts stalking Paula Abdul.

And everyone is wrong. She brings the house down. From the first verse of the show tune she sings (Red would know more about that than me) the audience is just floored. And then the judges tell her she's great and she cries and those of us watching the clip get all verklemmt unless we don't have souls, which maybe you don't but watch this clip to find out.

The end.

Susan Boyle on Britain Got Talent
Uploaded by dwarthy

Top 5: Reasons BBCA's Any Dream Will Do is Better Than American Idol

Occasionally, I am really thankful I am single. How else could I spend a Sunday watching the new version of Sondheim's Company and a TV show about young British dudes and their quest to star in Andrew Lloyd Webber's latest musical staging of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat without constant harassment and mocking? Blessing and a curse, friends. Blessing and a curse.

Anyway, all that to say, I am hooked on BBC America's Any Dream Will Do. It's exactly like that show from a few summers ago (You're the One that I Want) where producers scoured America to cast the leads in a new staging of Grease on Broadway, except replace "Grease" with "JatATD" and "fresh faced Americans" with "boy bandish Brits." It's also kinda like American Idol, but way better. Here's why:


1. The Men! - Sure most of them are probably gay, but I don't have to spend precious life moments not lusting after the images on my TV set. All dudes, all the time. Ahhh yeah...

2. The Lord! - Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber himself is very involved in the show so there is no shortage of jokes about his Lordship like, "You have the blessing of the Lord. You could be Joseph" or "The Lord couldn't stand any more terrible singing today so he left." Hilarious! (I swear they are kinda funny when uttered by Graham Norton aka the show's Seacrest.)

3. John Barrowman! - The show's dreamiest host, Barrowman is also the star of BBC's Torchwood. He takes this judging job so damn seriously, it's almost laughable, and yet refreshing when compared to the lack of professionalism on Idol these days. (Also, totally gay.)

4. The Accents! - On AI, you only get Simon Cowell. On ADWD, you get more Brits than you can handle. And did I mention they're all male? And some are quite attractive?

5. The Ending! - Having aired last year in the UK, if I ever get tired of watching, I can just google the final results and move on with my life. If only I could do that with American Idol this season.

I don't actually expect any of you to watch this show because a) everyone hates Musical Theater and 2) no one listens to me anyway, but it brings me joy and thus I wanted to share. Like I said, 2 episodes in and it's already better than AI.

Add This to Your Queue: Long Way Down

A few years ago, I received the BBC series Long Way Round from the lovely people at Netflix. In it, I watched Ewan McGregor and his BFF Charlie Boorman ride BMW motorcycles from London, England east to NYC. Recently, I finished it's sequal of sorts, Long Way Down, and I can't recommend it enough.

Starting in John o'Groats in Northern Scotland, Ewan and Charlie ride their bikes south to South Africa. It's an amazing journey. Of course, they encounter wonderful people and incredible scenery and all manner of animals native to Africa, but the real charm is the two men and their friendship, struggles and love of the journey. It also gave me a different perspective of Africa, beyond the horrors (of which there are many) to the beauty of a continent worth preserving. Watch either or both series and sit in awe of this planet.

Bonus: Ewan is fine as ever and really adores his wife. They don't make 'em any dreamier, friends.

OK, apparently the Brits aren't ALWAYS cool...

One last post on the Golden Globes and then I swear we'll move onto something more spiritual and enlightening (like the Oscars). But this little item came across my desk at GitW HQ and I just couldn't let it go un-commented upon:

Seems that while Red and I were charmed to pieces by Kate Winslet's acceptance speeches and making vows to work "Gather" into our everyday vocabularies, the stoic people of post-War Britain were shocked, shocked! to see a real live Hollywood actress show human feeling.

The stiff upper lip is apparently alive and well in the Merry Olde, as the British press - known the world over for its character and restraint - demanded an apology from Winslet for getting flustered and blubbery at winning two shiny statues. Because it's England, they bring their hangups about that adorable Class System of theirs into the whole mix as well, and namecheck that Mitford family they're always going on about, but who no one else anywhere has heard of. Ever.

So there you have it. Just when you stopped thinking English people were all tea drinking fops with bad teeth and an unquenchable thirst for colonization, and instead regarded the country as an exporter of wonderful things like The Beatles and Ricky Gervais, they go ahead and remind us all why we claimed our independence in the first place: For the right to cry and make fools of ourselves should we ever win a Golden Globe.

God. Bless. America.

It's cool Kate, I totally forget Angelina's name all the time too. Let's hang out some time. Bring your little friend there.

Best TV of 2008

Like Liz and her music, I am a connoisseur of television. Sometimes, I wonder how I ever lived without a DVR (and how anyone lives without HBO). I'm pretty sure I watched more TV this year than ever in my life, and here are my pics for the best of the best (I've included a memorable quote from each show because, you know, I effing love me some quotes):

10. Real Time with Bill Maher HBO - Sure, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are more popular, but Real Time is, for my money, the best political program on TV. In an exciting election season, Bill talked about things others ignored and contributed greatly to the most encouraging election in my lifetime. Memorable Quote: "You know who's bitter in America? I am, because shit-kickers voted twice for a retarded guy they wanted to have a beer with and everybody else had to suffer the consequences." - Bill Maher

9. Summer Heights High HBO - Like Flight of the Conchords last year, nothing made me laugh harder. Australian Chris Lilley is a bloody genius. MQ: "No offense but I seriously hate all fat people." -Ja'mie

8. Battlestar Gallactica Sci-Fi - The re-imaged nerdfest just keeps getting better. I won't say much about this season, as Liz is still catching up, but I eagerly await the final installment of this incredible series early next year. Thanks to Dave for getting me into this show. MQ: "Old gods die hard." - Six

7. The Office NBC - While I think this show is failing to live up to the terrific first seasons, I still love the Dunder-Mifflin gang...especially Michael. His love, and loss, with Holly this season was perfection. I never thought I'd say this, but more Michael and the randoms, less Jim and Pam drama, please. MQ: "As it turns out, you can't just check someone into rehab against their will. They have to do it voluntarily. They have to hit rock bottom. So I think I know what I need to do at this point. I need to find ways to push Meredith to the bottom. Um. I think I can do it. I did it with Jan." - Michael Scott

6. Pushing Daisies ABC - We're big fans around these parts of this already canceled gem. Creator Bryan Fuller is apparently cursed to be too creative for his own good. 'Tis a shame. MQ: "The pie-maker considered how not telling Chuck the truth about her father was a lot like being locked in a prison. Then he considered how being locked in a prison was actually much worse than some silly metaphor about truth." - Narrator

5. Ashes to Ashes BBC - It wouldn't be a TV list by Red if there wasn't some British show you've never heard of. This show, a sequel to the BBC version of Life on Mars, follows a modern cop, who is shot and wakes up in the 80's. It's totally awesome, mainly because of the performance by Philip Glenister as DCI Gene Hunt, who can sexually harass me anytime. MQ: "Right! How many birds does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two! One to run around screaming 'What do I do?' and one to shag the electrician!" - Gene Hunt

4. 30 Rock NBC - Oh, Liz Lemon. Can I move to NYC, move in with you and make you my best friend? Pretty please? MQ: "[The Postmaster General and I] had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I wanted to lick a hippie, I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls." - Jack Donaghy

3. The Wire HBO - I almost forgot the final season aired this year. One of the best TV shows ever came to a close and, while not the best season of the series, it left me satisfied. I love seeing actors from The Wire pop up everywhere from 300 to Lost to the 90210 remake. Every time, it's like seeing an old friend. MQ: "The bigger the lie, the more they believe." - Bunk

2. Mad Men AMC - What a year for our friends at Sterling Cooper. Year of the ladies...and it was incredible. This show makes me long for the days of dresses and suits and drinking in the office. And then there's Joan. Sweet, sweet Joan. *sigh* MQ: "One day you're there and then all of the sudden there's less of you. And you wonder where that part went — if it's living somewhere outside of you — and you keep thinking maybe you'll get it back and then you realize it's just gone." - Peggy Olsen


1. Generation Kill HBO - What do you get when you take a fascinating and funny book about recon Marines entering Iraq, hand it to the brilliant David Simon and Ed Burns, mix in a ton of hot dudes and put it on HBO? Simply, the greatest TV production of 2008. Catch it today on DVD. MQ: "Saddam is just part of the problem, if Saddam invested more in the pussy infrastructure of Iraq than he did in his fucking gay ass army, then this country would be no more fucked up than say, Mexico." - Cpl. Josh Ray Person

Honorable Mentions:
Life - Please watch this show before they cancel it. Gingers everywhere will thank you.
Skins - BBC America calls it their version of Gossip Girl. It is, if GG were, like, a zillion times better.
True Blood - I never expected to enjoy a vampire show so much.
Lost - I'm all caught up now and I'm hooked. My mind has been sufficiently blown.

Let the debate begin...

This (mostly) Just In...

Happy Monday, friends. I hope you have recovered from your weekend sugar coma. Here's some stuff I came across recently:
A Fame Movie Remake - I think I speak for theater geeks everywhere when I say, "Yesssss!!!!!"

JustInCaseIDie.com - Say you are headed off on safari to Africa and there is a possibility you'll be eaten by lions before you return. At JustInCaseIDie.com, you can compose emails to send to loved ones to say, "The safe code is 24601" or enemies to say, "You smell and I've always hated your guts" which will be sent after a predetermined time. Should you survive, you simply log in and cancel the emails. This. Is. Genius!

Mamma Mia to become #1 film of all time in UK - See! I'm not the only person who watched it! For all the awesome things the Brits create, they really have shitty taste in movies sometimes.

Soup Kitchen for the Dogs - Recently opened in Berlin, this soup kitchen feeds hungry dogs of homeless people. Now, you don't have to give a homeless dude money because you really feel sorry for his dog...well, not if you're in Germany anyway.

Jon Hamm on 30 Rock - Apparently, Don Draper is in talks to guest star on the funniest show on TV as a love interest for Liz Lemon. Will he be dreamier than Floyd? There are no words to express my excitement!

Like I'd pass up an opportunity to post a picture of Jon Hamm.

My vote for Song of the Summer 2008

Well, I've tallied my ballot, and I'm going with "American Boy" by Estelle (featuring Kanye West) as my favorite jam this season.

There are a lot of things the Brits do better than us, and now it seems we can add "lighthearted, impossibly catchy pop song released between Memorial and Labor Day" to the list. May God help our star spangled souls.

This (mostly) Just In...

Generation Kill Premieres Sunday - Wire fans, rejoice! David Simon and Ed Burns return to HBO with this 7 part miniseries about American soldiers in Iraq. Garney says the book is pretty great. I haven't been this excited about a war movie since Stop Loss promised copious shots of a shirtless Ryan Phillippe (which it failed to produce. Bastards). P.S. If you live in SD and want to check it out, we can have viewing parties (this means you, Liz).

The Office Webisodes are Back - After last summer's mystery of the missing money, Kevin, Oscar, Darryl and Stanley are here this summer with Kevin's Loan to fill the Office shaped hole in your heart. The first installment premieres today at 12 PST (that's 3pm for you east coasters, but I'm sure you knew that. If you didn't, you're a moron. Sorry. It needed to be said).

Robert Downey Jr. is Sherlock Holmes - Everyone's new favorite superhero will become Sherlock Holmes for Mr. Madonna, Guy Ritchie. Here's hoping it's good, unlike every other Guy Ritchie movie.

Teenager Finds Baby Bat in Bra - In news that makes my skin crawl, a UK teenager found a baby bat in the lining of her 34FF bra. 34FF! Holy Lord. How can that woman feel anything through those things?

Cristopha' joins Life on Mars - As the only person in America completely obsessed with the US remake of Life on Mars (before ever watching an episode), I'm totally jazzed Michael Imperioli will be one of the sexist 1970s coppers. I've really missed him since Tony rubbed him out.

Facebook in Reality

Leave it to the Brits to make something this silly so funny:

Maybe Add This to Your Queue

Is there a better way to spend President Day then watching an Anthony Bourdain marathon and films about England? I think not. Yesterday, I watched This is England, an autobiographical film by Shane Meadows, who spent his young life among skinheads in central England. After his father dies in the Falklands War, Shane and his mother move to Nottinghamshire, where he is bullied for his clothes (and basically being the new kid). He meets some older skinheads on his way home from school and develops a close friendship with them, eventually adopting the skinhead look and attitude.

This is England won the Best British Film BAFTA this year and, while it's engaging (and the young kid who plays Shane is really good), I wouldn't call it a great film. However, I found the politics really interesting. First, I didn't realize there were non-racist skinheads, but apparently, the term originally referred mainly to a style of dress and interest in Jamaican music. Second, the parallels between skinheads of the 1980's and our current wave of patriotic nationalism are eerie. Meadows shows the rise of English nationalism among the skinheads (a desire to "reclaim" England for the English and a hatred for Middle Easterners) and the rhetoric sounds alarmingly similar to ideas espoused in America today. What we call "patriotic," Meadows portrays as nationalistic. Who's to say who's correct?

I'd recommend This is England if you are feeling fired up and political (or if you really liked Romper Stomper). Otherwise, watch American Idol or something...

More Brits for Your Viewing Pleasure

While searching for anything new and different to fill my DVR, I stumbled upon Eli Stone, the new, quirky comedy following Lost Thursdays on ABC. Lured by the star power of the adorable Johnny-Lee Miller (of Trainspotting and marrying Angelina Jolie fame), I set my DVR to capture the first episode. How excited was I to learn the show co-stars Victor Garber and features George Michael in a fantastically fun cameo?

Eli Stone is a high powered lawyer with a smokin' hot fiancee and a killer apartment in San Fran. One day, he hears music no one hears and has visions of George Michael singing Faith. Turns out, he has a brain aneurysm and his visions are pointing him toward people who need is lawyerly help (is he a prophet? or is the aneurysm just screwing with his perception of reality?). It's kinda like the do-gooder version of Ally McBeal (the early seasons...before it just got ridiculous). The pilot had me laughing and even getting a bit choked up. Like everything these days, you can catch the first episode online and then we can all discover the wonders of Eli Stone together...