In the Immortal Words of Celine Dion, A New Day Has Come

Well done, people. Well freaking done.

Lots Better Than Your Neighbor's Tacky Decorations

Recently, my lovely friend Falwless posted a rant about Christmas lawn decorations. She ain't seen nothing yet*:

My neighbor's house. Unfortunately, I took this picture before the added the holy family on the front steps.

The neighbor's neighbor joined in on the fun. The neighbor mainly has a Disney theme, while the neighbor's neighbor (I'm pretty sure they are related) is more House at Pooh Corner. They refrained from lighting everything for a few days (the electricity bill must be a bitch), but I finally caught the lighted goodness Saturday night:

It's much brighter in person. As Liz asked last year (oh, yes. They had these same decorations last year. And from the state of most of them, they've had them since at least 1989), "Can they see your neighbor's house in space?!" Of course, she has this in her house so I don't think she can make fun of anyone:

Happy Holidays, people.


*horrible picture taking by yours truly. I'm already gunning for Blog with the Blurriest Photos at next year's Drysdale's.

What Pop Culture Lies Would You Tell for Love?

I just stumbled upon this article which claims 33% of women and 46% of men lie to their friends or potential lovers about their reading habits to appear more impressive and intelligent. I get that, as I am very wary of men who don't read (why, I've even mentioned it before), so men are always all, "OMG. I was reading Kurt Vonnegut the other day. That dude makes me LOL."* Now, this article makes me suspect these non-existent gentleman callers may be exaggerating a bit. How dare they! It also got me thinking about lies I've told for love and/or street cred. I can't think of anything I've specifically told someone I was into when I wasn't, but I can think of a few things I've neglected to tell people because I "fear" their judginess. I will now reveal one to you, friends, because what is my purpose here if not to have you mock me incessantly? Here goes:

I love the album Millennium by Backstreet Boys. Love it. I know every word to every song and I listen to it probably once a month and sing my damn head off. It is now, and will always be, one of my favorite albums to sing along to.

I won't get into why I own and know this album, but I do...and I'm okay with it...but I'd probably wait until married to spring this info on a potential suitor. Except, I've just told all of you. I guess that takes all the single men who read this out of my dating pool. (Nice one, Red. Like you need to make that pool smaller. You're such a dummy sometimes (confession #2: I talk to myself...often)).

Anyway, what lies (or lies of omission) would you tell for love or lust? Let's see you top my BSB confession. I'm pretty sure I am untoppable!


*totally a quote from my imaginary boyfriend.

The Soundtrack of My Life

I think about this a lot...if someone made a movie of my life (and wouldn't watching someone watch TV for 2 hours just be fascinating?), I'd ask to create the soundtrack. Here's the track list:

1. Thunder Road - Springsteen: As the Boss himself would say, it's the ultimate invitation song...come along and listen to the story.

2. Express Yourself - Madonna: Madonna taught me many valuable life lessons early in my little life. How to rock a cone shaped bra, maybe the most important?

3. Holding Out for a Hero - Bonnie Tyler: For the part in the movie when I still believe in heroes and holding out.

4. Still Fighting It - Ben Folds: Because everybody knows it sucks to grow up.

5. Better Man - Pearl Jam: For the one I lied to when I said I was in love with him.

6. July, July - The Decemberists: This is the fun, summer-on-the-beach montage required in every movie set in SoCal.

7. The Old Apartment - BNL: Mainly, because any story about me would be a lie without a Barenaked Ladies song. Is that sad?

8. More Adventurous- Rilo Kiley: Jenny Lewis represents many things, but primarily how awesome it is to be ginger. This is an overarching theme in the film, obvs.

9. Don't Think Twice - Bob Dylan: For the one who just kinda wasted my precious time.

10. Long Way Round - Dixie Chicks: Lord knows, I never seem to do it like anybody else. Life lessons must be learned the hard way.

11. Holiday in Spain - Counting Crows: For the end of the film where I ride a plane to Europe to spend the rest of my days abroad as an ex-pat.

12. Don't Stop Believin' - Journey: For the message...for it's karaoke perfection...for it's kickassedness...it plays over the credits.

Embarrassingly, there really should be a Robbie Williams song in here somewhere, but this will have to do. Is it just me, or does this have the potential to be the greatest movie/soundtrack combo since Elizabethtown?!

P.S. As I've said before, I'm not computer savvy enough to give you the mp3s of all these wonderful tunes. Deal with it, people!

Brokeback!: The Opera

In an attempt to out-gay Broadway, the New York City Opera is developing a stage production of Brokeback Mountain. Here are some song titles in the works:

"Fishing" on Their Minds
I Don't Know How to Quit You
Jack Twist (More like Jack Nasty)
Anne Hathaway Topless

I'm sure you'll agree, this sounds totally, awesomely bad (and my song titles are terrible. I should have made Garney write this post).

This (mostly) Just In...

Sarah Jessica Parker has lost her damn mind - Plants are never a good look on your head. Like, not ever. And apparently, she and Kim Catrall still hate each other. Can't we learn to get along ladies?

Ryan Seacrest may take over for Larry King when King retires in 2009 - I say, “Amen” because, Lord knows, I don’t get enough Seacrest every week.

Ugly Betty is moving to NYC - Why anyone would care about this is beyond me, but EW, Gmail and Yahoo News all felt the need to tell me. Amy Poehler even made a joke about it on Weekend Update this week (one of the only funny jokes in the show. (I realized the problem with SNL yesterday…it’s turned into a weekly round of the Improv Game as played by my high school theater group (yes. I was a theater geek. Move on already). Everyone remembers the one time the Improv Game was hilarious and every week, the dorks try and recreate the magic, but unfortunately, the one really funny guy who had all the jokes graduated last year and it’s now really just an exercise in unfunny idiocy. But I digress). Speaking of things no one cares about…

The Tony nominees were announced – The tag line for this year's show is "There's a Little Bit of Broadway in Everyone." Officially, the gayest tag line ever.

Reaper gets a second season - I’m pretty sure Garney and I are the only people still watching this, and Garney’s even about to jump ship, but the characters are really funny and Ray Wise as the Devil is one of my favorite characters on TV.

Gordon Ramsey screams at Gordon Brown for fresh fruit and veg - Ramsey wants the British Prime Minister to fine restaurants that use out of season produce. Eff you, Gordon Ramsey. People will eat strawberries in December and you will like it!

Look! It’s the new 90210 Cast – 2 things about this excite me: 1) Jessica Walters (fka Lucille Bluth) plays the family matriarch and 2) Tristan Wilds (Michael Lee on The Wire) plays what looks like the token ethnic kid. Here's hoping 90210 serves him better than the streets of B-More. But, really, the whole thing seems a bit Gossip Girl/The Hills for me and, ultimately, I'll probably not watch more than one episode.

That is all...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

As they say, today, everyone is Irish.

We had a lovely weekend in Arizona (thanks for asking) and tried to celebrate St. Patty's in an Irish Bar/Grill in Peoria. Unfortunately, the most obnoxious man in the world was trying to play the worst version of Name that Tune, like, ever and our plans were thwarted (Dave called it "the worst hour of my life."). So we went to the diveiest bar we could find (the apt named Shenanigans), conveniently located behind Big O Tires. There we found a Whiskey Tango crowed and the worst karaoke I've ever heard. It was awesome.

Here's to better luck for you tonight.

TV Premiere Week (+3) - Special Viva Laughlin Edition

Let's recap:

~ This is one of the strongest television seasons in awhile and has filled many a DVR with too many things to watch.

~ Pushing Daisies is everyone's favorite new show.

~ Heroes has been less than stellar, but may redeem itself when K Bell joins the cast this week.

~ I am old because I like Carpoolers and not Gossip Girl.

I think that about covers it. However, there is one more show I've been looking forward to and it finally premieres tonight. Viva Laughlin, based on the BBC show Viva Blackpool, stars Hugh Jackman (or features anyway. I can't quite tell from the press. I think he's only in it a bit, but ABC wants to hype him so more people will watch) and Melanie Griffith (who has only ever been decent in Working Girl...and then only barely because her supporting cast was so phenomenal) as characters who work at a Casino in Laughlin, Nevada (aka the poor man's Reno). And here's the kicker...it's a musical. It's already drawn comparisons to Steven Bochco's early 90's suck-fest Cop Rock (which was on too late for me to watch at the time, but most people (aka critics) regard as TV's Ishtar (aka one of the worst movies ever)).

You're probably thinking, with all these strikes against it, why am I excited to watch? Well, the answer is threefold, my friends. 1) It's a musical. I love musicals. Even bad ones. 2) It's based on a BBC show and we all know how much I love the Brits. and 3) It sounds like the all time greatest trainwreck. Hugh singing the Stones' Sympathy for the Devil; Melanie singing Blondie's One Way or Another. C'mon! Pure awesomely bad goodness. I can't wait!

Update: Not awesomely bad, just really, really bad. Please, for the love of God and your personal sanity, DO NOT watch this show. You can thank me later...

Another Update: It's already been canceled. Hallelujah!