Verily, it tied the room together

You guys! Someone wrote a fan fic version of The Big Lebowski as written by Shakespeare. And hilarity ensues. Some notable lines, done Bard syle:

"Sir Donald; thou art out of thy element."

"Were thou to bring a gentle cock to mine bed-chamber, I might help him to success for ten shillings." (inflation, man)

"Yea, well, that be, forsooth, thy opinion, sir."

"Thou speakest rightly, sir. No man misdeals with Joshua Quince, by Jesu."

"I am not Master Lebowski; thou art Master Lebowski. I am the Knave, called the Knave. Or His Knaveness, or mayhap Knaver, or mayhap El Knaverino, in the manner of the Spaniard, if brevity be not in thy soul nor wit. A Knave by any other name would abide just as well."

"‘Orient-man’ is not preferr’d nomenclature."

"The Sabbath; I’ll roll not, God-a-mercy."

Ahhh...to be so clever. Check out the entire thing here.