The Confessional

Is it weird that I have a favorite Victoria's Secret model?

Hi, Miranda. Hiiii...

It is weird, isn't it? Damn it!

Things I learned while staying home sick

You learn a few things while laying on the couch, burning your only remaining sick day with your third sinus infection of the year. I thought I'd share a few of the most important tidbits I picked up:

HBO won’t let you watch its shows for free on its web site. Come on, Home Box Office, help a sister out! I know you have that whole “premium cable, no commercials” thing going on, but Showtime lets you watch their stuff. I wanna see this new vampire show you’re doing, but I can’t afford your channel. You’re supposed to be nice to me right now, I’m sick!

I won’t be able to run from NASCAR for much longer. I just saw a commercial for that Thomas Kinkade gallery thing, and apparently they’re making NASCAR prints now. I’m still resisting, but I get the feeling it's getting more and more futile.

The clock on my living room wall is really f&cking loud. I went to bed really early last night, so even though my face hurts and I feel like I’m going to vomit, I’m not all that tired. So I’m on my couch, right under this goddamn clock, and it sounds like mice are performing STOMP in the wall next to my head. It ain’t helping, ‘s all I’m saying.

Time Life is still in business. I always thought Time Life stopped making books after it jumped the shark with those ones about the supernatural, but here they are, on my daytime television, hocking a ten-hour DVD set about WWII. Operators are standing by, I'm sure.

They should have cancelled the Price is Right when Bob Barker retired. Drew Carey’s not bad, but let’s be honest – this show needs a vaguely smarmy host with the air of a sophisticated used car salesman like I need anti-biotics. Otherwise it just doesn’t work.

Vaya con Dios.

At the Movies: Vicky Christina Barcelona

Yesterday, I ventured to the movie theater midday (not having a job totally rules!) to check out Woody Allen's latest film, Vicky Christina Barcelona. VCB follows Rebecca Hall (Vicky) and Scarlett Johansson (Christina) as they spend a summer in, you guessed it, Barcelona, Spain. Vicky is sensible; engaged to a wealthy business man because he is the logical choice. Christina is impulsive, always in and out of love; looking for passion over logic. (What's that you say? This is the premise of many a Jane Austen novel? How astute you are, dear reader.) Add Javier Bardem as a passionate artist, with a tumultuous past, who invites both Vicky and Christina to join him for a weekend away, and Penelope Cruz as Bardem's insane ex-wife, and things get messy.

Cruz, Bardem and ScarJo are all really fantastic, the scenery is gorgeous, and the script is interesting in the New Woody kind of way (it's much more Match Point then, say, Annie Hall). I was disappointed with Rebecca Hall, in a very uneven performance, and some of Woody's choices (like an awkward narrator), but really all you need to know is P. Cruz and ScarJo make out. Maybe I should have lead with that...

It's like the mid-90s never ended

Look, Noel Gallagher of Oasis got pushed off stage by a rogue fan in Toronto!

Signs I'm Getting Old: Vol. 2 (I think)

I watched the MTV VMAs on fast forward last night. My face looked like this the entire time:
I had several questions for myself after watching the show: First, does anyone think Russell Brand, while hilarious in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, is really very funny? I usually get the Brits, but this guy is a big ol' mess. Also, am I cool because I didn't know half of the artists nominated (who they hell is Tokyo Hotel?) or does not knowing them make me lame and out of touch? (I imagine this is how people my age felt when Britney Spears and *Nsync were huge back in the day...totally confused by it all.) And finally, why do I insist on watching the VMAs every year when I know they will be horrible? I need to rethink my priorities.

30 Rock the Vote

When I first read the headline that John McCain picked a woman for his running mate, my first thought was, "Huh. That's interesting." Then I saw a picture of Sarah Palin and my first thought was, "I didn't know Tina Fey was a Republican!"

Seriously, check this out:

Which is which? Who is who? It's all coming apart!!!

I know we're not the first blog to point out the resemblance between Gov. Palin and the unsinkable Liz Lemon, but seriously, isn't that just crazy! And besides, when have things like "timeliness," "newsworthyness" and "of interest" ever had any kind of bearing on this blog? Honestly.

Fall TV Preview: 2008

Better late than never, it's time for the Gingers is the Watchword somewhat annual TV preview!

Gratuitous shot of Josh Jackson to satiate my inner 15 year old? Check.

There's actually not a ton of new shows I'm looking forward to this year, but there are a few of which I am intrigued, yet suspicious. I've admittedly made some dog pics in the past (*cough* Bionic Woman remake *cough*) and I'm sure I will again. But, sight unseen, here's some new shows that have piqued my interest.

Sons of Anarchy - Supposedly like The Sopranos, but with a biker gang. Could be cool. It's on FX, which has gained a reputation for interesting, edgy shows. (Start...ed Sept. 3. Oops, hopefully they'll replay it. It's FX, so they probably will).

Kath & Kim - The commercials for this show starring Selma Blair and Molly Shannon have made me laugh, and apparently it's a remake of a huge hit in Australia. The Aussies have given us Cate Blanchett, Russell Crowe, koala bears and shrimp on the barbie, so I've come to trust their taste. However, off-beat comedy is such a tough thing to pull off, I have my reservations as well. (NBC, Oct. 9)

Fringe - Buzz is kind of bad, but hey: JJ Abrams and Joshua Jackson? I'll at least give it a looksie. (Fox, Sept. 9)

The new 90210 - I have it saved in my DVR. I wasn't even a huge fan of the first go-round of this series, but I have to admit I'm curious. If only to see how Michael from The Wire does. (CW, Tuesdays)

Life on Mars - Strictly on Red's recommendation. (ABC, Oct. 9)

My Own Worst Enemy - As I've mentioned before, I've missed Christian Slater. I have to give his little dual personality spy show here a try. (NBC, Oct. 13).

And, since a lot of my favorite shows are your favorite shows as well, here's when some of them are coming back:

30 Rock (Oct. 30); The Office (Sept. 25); Pushing Daisies (Oct. 1); Heroes (I'm giving it one last shot. Sept. 22); Dirty Sexy Money (It still hasn't reached its potential, but I'm hanging with it to see if it does. Oct. 1); Grey's Anatomy (Shut up. Sept. 28).

God Help Me!

I kinda really like John Mayer's cover of Tom Petty's Free Fallin'



I am now officially so totally uncool, we need a new word for uncool.

Top 5: Things to Accomplish While Quasi-Unemployed

So, it's happened. The warmongers realized I am too full of sunshine and happiness to contribute to their evil schemes any longer and they've placed me on furlough (basically said, "Here. Take a month or so off work (unpaid) and we'll call you back if we decide to go with a redhead who is taller than all the boys and will always be relegated to the old lady/mother roles and never get to play the female lead with all the good songs." Sorry. I just regressed to my childhood musical days there for a sec). Anyway, so, yeah. I have some free time, people. Here's how I plan to fill it:

1. Finally watch season 1 of Lost - Because I'm not nerdy enough, I must find out what Liz is always blabbing about. Smoke monsters? Hidden hatches? Let the obsession begin!

2. Decide whether or not I want to move to the East Coast - Virginia and South Carolina are my options. What say you, East Coasters? Am I crazy to leave the glory that is San Diego?

3. Perfect my Moose Tracks and peanut butter ice cream recipe - Really, 75% of my time will be spent on this one.

4. Revel in the new season of America's Next Top Model - The new season of model insanity begins tonight. This is my guilty pleasure show and I don't care who knows it. Bring on crazy Tyra!

5. Venture...Outside! - Yes. The time has finally come. Time to leave the comforts of my apartment and go for a walk...or to the beach...or to read in the park nearby. I'm not saying it will be easy, but, bygod, it will be fun! Or probably not. Who knows really?

Really, my days will turn into this:

This (mostly) Just In...

After the week of smoking our own pole and a long weekend of laziness, let's get back in the swing of things with these news items which are mostly new and quasi-interesting:

90210: The New Class - The newly revived 90210 premieres tonight on the CW. I have my DVR ready to record the 2 hour premiere, yet I imagine, much like with Gossip Girl last season, I'll watch about 20 minutes, decide I am too old for this crap, and switch over to the Padres game. Yes, I'm still watching Padres games. They've not been mathematically eliminated yet! (or maybe they have. I dunno. Math is hard.)

Facebook: The Movie - Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing and Sports Night, is rumored to be writing a movie about the creation of Facebook. It's a pretty great idea considering there are about a million or so Facebook addicts ready to line up and buy tickets.

Michael Phelps: Funny Dude - Or so we shall see when Phelpsie (he likes me to call him Phelpsie) hosts the season premeire of SNL. As long as there are several skits with him shirtless, all is a-okay with me.

Death of a Voiceover Guy - The voice of about a zillion movie trailers is dead. Movie previews will never be the same.