Beer of Whenever

Party people!!! So right this very second, I am drinking this not very photogenic beer. It's called Saison du BUFF and it's created by dudes from Stone + Dogfish Head + Victory! I think we can all agree that automatically makes it delicious. Pick one up in your local cheese/fancy beer shop (oh, you don't have one of those in your charming little town? Sucks to be you! Move to Williamsburg where the cool kids live! (seriously, please move here...I have no friends)).

Anyway, this beer is lovely and very summery and warms my heart because it unites us Stone lovers with you Dogfish Headers. I recommend.

P.S. USA! USA!

Beer of the Month

Remember when I said I was gonna start a Beer of the Month Club way back in October? Ooops!

Well, here's our second installment. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Abita Brewing Co's Purple Haze! It's a wheat lager with hints of raspberry. I consumed my fair share while in the great city of New Orleans. Now, it's on tap at my San Diego favorite burger joint. Huzzah!

If you listen to the snobs at Beer Advocate, you'd think it sucks. And, I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit...what's the word I want...pedestrian. But considering I don't like wheat or fruit beers, I think it's pretty great. Plus, it's a pseudo-homage to Jimmy Hendix and he was cool and stuff.

So check out Purple Haze and lets us know about your favorite new adult beverage in the comments. There's no time like this weekend to broaden our drunken horizons, amirite?

Your Weekend in Pop Culture

This is like the fourth time we've done this. We are accomplishing goals!!!

Anyway, here are some things to do with your weekend:

Tonight - Go out and drink to our pal Dave, who turns 31 today. He loves chili, Chad Ochocinco and Twitter so if you could somehow work those things into your celebration, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Saturday - Go wine tasting for another friend's birthday. What? What's that you say? You live somewhere cold and not conducive to wine growing year round? Sucks to be you!!!

As an alternative, you can go see one of the 10 Oscar Best Picture nominees you haven't had a chance to see yet. I'll be checking out The Blindside (the last one I need to see). The Oscars are next Sunday, ya'll!

Sunday - Watch the US (hopefully) take on Canada (maybe) in the gold medal game. USA! USA! Also, closing ceremonies. RIP Winter Olympics 2010.

Have a great weekend!

How I Spent My Weekend

Hey ya'll. So, it was another crummy weekend 'round these parts. Here's what went down:

I went to LA on Friday and had a lovely time...until I decided to barf in my BFF's new BMW. Worst. Friend. Ever. This incident lead me to realize I can't drink anymore...probably ever. Is life really still worth living?

Saturday I spent crying at Conan O'Brien's final show. RIP you redheaded genius!

Yesterday, I went to see Youth in Revolt (Meh) and was asked to donate to the Repeal Prop 8 fund...which I did...because someday gay marriage may be my only option. Anyway, I got a bad feeling about the whole thing and went home to discover $200 worth of fraudulent charges on my debit card. GD Prop 8 scammers! I'm never donating to anything, ever again. Sucks to be you, Haiti!

So yeah. That happened. Oh! I also turned on Word Verification (after years of complaining about it on other sites). We are just so hilarious and popular people who can't speak English won't stop spamming us. Ugh! I hate everyone.

I love you though! Hope this week sucks less for all of us. Hugs!

This (mostly) Just In...

Hiya. Sorry I've been MIA from these parts. I have lots of excuses/reasons, but I'll spare you the not very dirty or interesting details. Let's just get to some stuff you may or may not care about:

The AV Club's 30 Best TV Shows of the '00s - I don't have many arguments with this list. I especially appreciate the inclusion of Veronica Mars (RIP!). I am trying to decide if I'm excited for or preemptively annoyed with all the End of the Decade Best of Lists to come...probably annoyed.

RIP Ken Ober - I loved Remote Control, even if it is possibly the reason MTV sucks so hard now, and Ken was a big part of it's awesomeness. On to a better place, sir.

"Unfriend" added to the New OED - Does anyone actually say "unfriend"? It's "defriend," right? That's not just me?

Nine Trailers Make Me Happy - This is actually my least favorite of the bunch (because it features Kate Hudson), but every trailer I see for this movie musical makes my heart leap for joy! I can even somehow over look the fact that Fergie is in it. Can. Not. Wait!

I Tried Dogfish Head (and I liked it) - On my trip last week, several people said I could find Dogfish Head at one of the locals, but they lied. Ruby Tuesdays in the Knoxville airport listed it on their menu, but, again, all lies. When I returned home, a friend told me, "My favorite beer right now is Dogfish Head 90 minute IPA." UGH! This beer was straight up taunting me! So I went to BevMo and grabbed a 4 pack and drank one straight away...and you are all right. It's delicious. It's a bit too sweet for me and my bitter taste buds, but the ridiculously high alcohol content makes up for that. So, thanks for the tip, bloggy friends. You are all the best. No you are!

This (mostly) Just In...

Tracy Morgan Me-Cards - These are all hilarious. I wish I had a reason to send any of them to anyone. This excerpt from his new book is also truly amazing. "What up, Lorne Michaels!"

Amy Winehouse = New Album in 2010 - Like she'll still be alive in 2010.

Indians Want Their Flag - I'm not gonna lie...I'm not 100% sure what Farmville is...though I have been invited to play a time or two on Facebook. BUT apparently it has something to do with virtual farming? And flags? And you can't add an Indian flag or something? I don't really know or care, but if hot Indian dudes are upset, I'm upset!

January Jones: Gorgeous and Cool - Apparently, she eats at Chili's, likes football and can drink more beer than your mom. And in the new GQ she's showing off her rack. Great...just, great...

Hometown Beer Buffet

According to Men's Journal, San Diego is the top beer town in the country. Better than Chicago...or Milwaukee...or Portland. San Diego has 33 microbreweries and a truly amazing array of beer, my favorite being Stone IPA, which I tell every beer fan I know about. Crazy delicious.

Also, the best part is, I apparently live blocks away from the "nation's best beer boulevard." This new knowledge makes this, perhaps, the best day ever.

Feel free to name your favorite brew and refute San Diego's irrefutable greatness in the comments.

I know, I know, there are sober kids in India. But still ...

I am not an alcoholic. Honestly.

I don’t drink on the job, I can go days without drinking, I don’t hide drinks around the house, and I am capable of having one or two beers and then stopping. (I just usually choose not to).

But lately, I’m thinking of cutting back. The older I get, I find that I’m more susceptible to dehydration and hangovers. I think beer and wine are the reason I spend so damn much on groceries and going out every month. And I have a sneaking suspicion that beer – coupled with my crippling laziness – is the reason I’ve gone up several jean sizes in the last 5 or 6 years.

So I think its time to slow down. But here’s the problem: While I’m not an alcoholic, I do have an embarrassingly low will power. I see other people drinking and having fun, and I instantly want to join in. I can’t even watch The Sopranos without wanting a glass of wine, nevermind go out with my friends and stick to water. The two times I have successfully made it through a night at a bar without drinking, my trivia team won and I couldn’t turn down the free beer we got in the end.

Here, dear readers, is why I’m telling you this: I need some advice. If you’ve ever quit, or substantially cut back, on something that was really difficult and part of your lifestyle (smoking, watching TV, using a telescope to spy on your poorly curtained, frequently naked neighbors) how did you go about that? Is cold turkey best, or should one ween themselves off of their vice? Did your life improve, or do you regret your decision because we’re all going to die anyway and no one says on their deathbed that they wish they spent less time spying on their neighbors?

I need help people. They say it’s the first step.

This (mostly) Just In...

So, Harry Potter week was more like a few Harry Potter days, but that's just how we roll around here...half-assed and forgetful. For your Friday, here are some tidbits you may or may not care about:


Emmy Nominations are Out - Even though 30 Rock received more nominations than any show, ever, I refuse to acknowledge the Emmy as a legitimate award until they stop nominating Two and a Half Men for Best Comedy Every Damn Year!

Starbucks to try adding booze to their coffee - When I worked at The Buck, we had people tell us all the time that we should offer bourbon or Kahlua or other liquors with the coffee. Apparently, those alcoholics may get their wish.

San Diego Plagued by Giant Squid - I love that I learned this from the BBC. I am so up with current events!

Comic-Con Next Week - Zillions of nerds will invade my lovely city next week...and I'm jealous of every single one of them.

Countdown to Mad Men: 31 Days - I am literally counting down the days to the season 3 premiere. I made one of those paper chain countdown thingies and everything.

Have a great weekend, you guys!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

To all our Mexican readers, congrats on defeating the French 140+ years ago. I'm sure, since they were French and all, they put up a really tough fight and didn't surrender immediately or anything!

To all you other people, try not to die of tequila and taco overdoses tonight!

Scenes from the Bar

Date/Time: April 28, 2009 9pmish

Place: Triple Crown Pub San Diego, CA

Liz: So you wouldn't want to be buried in a Padres themed mausoleum a la the new Cubs fan mausoleum in Chicago?

Red: Uh, no. That's completely retarded. I do want to be cremated though.

Liz: I don't get the point of cremation if your not gonna scatter the ashes.

Red: Well, it's better for the environment.

Liz: I don't care about my carbon footprint when I'm dead. Besides, if you're cremated, you can't come back as a zombie.

Red: Excellent point. I may need to rethink this...

Liz: Yeah. You totally don't want to miss out on a coming-back-as-a-zombie opportunity.

And scene

[drawing from portraits as living deads]

Perhaps I am Easily Amused

So, The Mole sent us a link to a website yesterday called texts from last night where presumably real people submit texts sent before/during/after their drunken escapades (another in the long list of Why Didn't We Think of That blogs). Some highlights:

(918)*: Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.

(510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this

(323): i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
(818): she hot?
(323): i don't wanna talk about it

(610): please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.

(703): Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.

(513): I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.

(405): Yeah, i think she was German or something.
(1-405): No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.

You can submit your own on the website. I know I've had a few weekends that could fill the entire site with hilarity. Or at least a few moderately funny posts. Okay, fine. Not funny at all. Who asked you anyway?!

*the numbers in parenthesis are the area codes from which the texts were sent

This (mostly) Just In...

I'm Back! - As you probably noticed, I am back online at home and posting like a mad woman!!! (okay, not really, but 3 posts in 3 days is at least back to normal.) It's truly embarrassing how happy it makes me to have internet access again. When did we come to this?

Adriana Lima is Married - Fellas, it will be okay. You never had a shot anyway.

(While we're on this subject, I asked elsewhere why A. Lim seems to be the most coveted VS model when Miranda Kerr (and others) are so much prettier. I'd love to hear your thoughts.)

It's Mardi Gras! - No one I know is celebrating in any real way...except my aunt who is in NOLA. However, tomorrow is the beginning of Lent and I'm following Liz's lead and giving up alcohol during the week (except for the week of St. Patty's because I'll be in Chicago and what's the point of being in Chicago for St. Patty's if you don't drink, I ask you?). Please pray for our strength to make it through.

So, what's the deal with A. Lim? What are you giving up for Lent? And are you as excited as I am to see me back to the blogging...or something?

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Dear Last Week,

Why do you hate me so much? You began by telling me I could no longer access personal email or The Facebook during the day, forcing me to pay out the nose to actually hook up an internet connection in my home. Then you told me California decided it was too broke to pay their tax refunds and Arnold is issuing IOUs instead. Next, you fraked with Blogger until I could only compose things in HTML...with no ability to add pictures. To further make my life suck, you somehow got me to agree to go on a date with someone I had no interest in, only to have me sleep through the first 30 minutes of said date because I thought (or rather you thought) bottomless mimosas at brunch was a good idea. You also apparently thought it was a good idea to let me text a boy I should be over by now while drinking those mimosas, resulting in feeling supremely lame for, well, I'm still pissed about that one, actually. To top it off, you thought it would be fun to plant Valentine's Day down in the middle of all this mess and let me spend the day reading Watchmen and watching movies like Hellboy II, prompting one rather verbose gentleman to inform me I'd need a complex understanding of exponents to understand how sad, on a scale of 1-10, my life really is..."No one has ever counted that high," he said. But I don't blame him...I blame you. Please stop hating me. I realize there are people, like, losing their jobs and their fortunes and stuff, but I'd really just like my internet back...and to stop being so tragic. Can you please help a sister out?

Thanks in advanced,

Red

Questions Pondered While Watching the Last 20 Minutes of Christmas in Rockefeller Plaza

- When did Harry Connick Jr. get so skinny? Not that he was ever very big, but he was much hotter with good ol' NOLA meat on his bones.

- Is Hanson totally pissed that the Jonas Brothers stole their gig? And speaking of the Jonas Brothers, they sang some song about giving up all other gifts to get a hot chick for x-mas. It included the lyric, "You can take this awesome scarf my grandma made for me," which is now, officially, the greatest lyric in the history of time.

- Why in God's name did I ever think soy egg nog sounded like a good idea? All the Jameson in the universe can't save this crap. Guess I'll just have to drink the Jameson on it's own. Oh, the humanity!

- Do you think it's too late for me to grow up to become Beyonce?

- Why is Britney Spears so crap at speaking on camera when she's been doing it since she was, like, 5?

- How much better would this show be if produced by Jack Donaghy? There would definitely be way more fireworks and, as we all know, everything is better with more fireworks.

- Are we the only country in the world crazy enough to produce a hour long music extravaganza just to light a damn tree?

I think I'm too cynical for Christmas this year. Add that to the list of reasons I should become a Jew.

Another Award? You Shouldn't Have!

The lovely (and redheaded) MelO over at It's just easier that way... gave us the much coveted "I Love Your Blog" award. I know you're all thinking, "You haven't won that yet? How is that even possible?!" but I assure you, dear readers, this is the first time someone has said, in public, that they love our blog (well, apart from all those other times people said it).

Rather than following the prescribed rules and passing the award along willy nilly (because breaking rules and saying ridiculous things like "willy nilly" is how I roll), I decided to remake it into something you may care about and perhaps even comment upon (because, like all bloggers, I love comments more than a fat kid loves cake and seriously, fat kids love the hell out of some cake). So, yeah. Taking a page from Liz's hugely successful "Guess who's coming to dinner" post, I'm asking, Which 5 bloggers and/or internet personalities would you like to meet out for drinks? My list:

Falwless - Fal was the first commenter none of us actually knew. Always hilarious, Liz and I have kinda developed an obession about meeting her. Someday she will visit. Oh, yes. It will happen. Mark my words, or something.

BeckEye - I imagine if Fal, BeckEye and I all got together, it would spell some serious trouble, and there are few things I love more than some good ol' fashioned trouble.

The Fug Girls - Again, hilarious, good-time girls. This is apparently turning into a girls night out. Sorry, fellas.

The Other Red - Because, as I always say, the more redheads in one room at the same time, the better. Seriously, I say that at least 5 times a day. People usually just look at me like I'm insane, but what do they know? Dummies!

The Guv - I'd love to grab a pint with the Guv, although, she'd probably eat all that proverbial fat kid's cake. Screw that kid! He should definately cut back anyway.

(By the way, MelO is obviously invited as well because she gave us the lovely award and whatnot.)
You all win the I Love Your Blog award (which I'm sure you've all won before), but more importantly, you have won the opportunity to post your answers to the question in the comments section! Congrats! Other people not cool enough to have drinks with the ladies, you can comment, too. You are all so very welcome.

Duuuuude...

We have a black president!!!!
I may or may not have had a lot of celebratory champagne this evening. It's all Liz's fault either way.

In Which Someday Google Will Rule Us All

I just stumbled across this little gem. Apparently, you can put "Mail Goggles" on your Gmail account to prevent you from sending late night emails you may later regret. If you ever get the urge to confess your undying love or hatred after a few too many cocktails, Gmail will block those emails until you complete some simple math problems (basically, until Gmail verifies you are coherent enough to broadcast your late night thoughts). I can think of a few emails I would have liked to e-block, but really, I need this for my phone to stop me from sending texts messages after respectable hours. Can someone get on that please?

This picture has nothing to do with the post. It just makes me laugh really hard.

Quote of the Week

The official "I've run out of stuff to post about" post is back with this second installment. This quote is brought to you by a former married co-worker, who had this to say after my always amazing karaoke rendition of Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man":

You drink Guinness and sing songs about sex. How are you not married?

If only it were that easy...

Top 5: Things I Accomplished While Quasi-Unemployed

I'm back to work today, people. Turned out my "furlough" was really code for "take 3 weeks off (mostly paid) and realize your suspicions about the awesomeness of never working are all completely true." I did accomplish most of what I set out to do (Lost is effing amazing), but here are 5 things I accomplished without even trying (suck on that, To-Do List!):

1. Watched Six Feet Under Season 1 - I mentioned this before. I'd really like the show if they'd kill off Rachel Griffiths and Jeremy Sisto. I am told this never happens. So, SFU, I am done with you...which is probably good because I need all my spare time to watch all 4 seasons of Lost.

2. Consumed New, Made-Up Cocktails - Let's just say Crown Royal and Grapefruit juice is delicious. Who would have thought?

3. Got a New Haircut - It's so short, I keep catching myself in the mirror and thinking some crazy, strange redhead is in my apartment, realizing it's me and saying, "Damn, girl! You look good!" (because, apparently, I am totally ghetto when I pay myself compliments).

4. Linked Everyone in Reader - You all may have noticed I've not been site stalking you lately. It's mainly because I hate sitting at my computer at home, but it's also because this guy was right. Subscriptions are the way to go.

5. Obtained and Promptly Paid 2 Parking Tickets - The city comes through and sweeps both sides of my street once a month. There are clearly posted signs telling you when this will occur and that you will be ticketed should your car be parked in the forbidden area between 7 and 10am on the predetermined sweeping days. Usually, I am at work when this occurs. This month, I was not. So, I forgot about the damn sweeping on the third Monday of every month and received a $40 ticket for my poor memory. Later that same week, on Wednesday, I parked on the other side of the street...when the sweeper comes through that side...and received another $40 ticket for being a complete moron. Use my $80 wisely, you city of San Diego bastards!

That is everything I accomplished in handy list form. While I can't say it's good to be back at work, I will say it's nice to have a paycheck again. My crazy rock-and-roll lifestyle cannot abide a budget!