It's been real

Dear Readers,

I Hope you’re sitting down.

You see, today marks the 3rd anniversary of the founding of Gingers is the Watchword, and we’ve decided to take this moment to call it a day. Yeah, you heard me, we’re shutting it down.

As you can tell by the fact that the last post was written almost a month ago, Red and I haven’t been too good at blogging lately. It’s not that we don’t want to, and it’s certainly not that we don’t love you all. All our readers have really meant a lot to us over the past few years. Some of you we’ve even met in person! You’ve encouraged us with your comments, and entertained us with your own blogs. (Believe or not, I read those too, even though I’m not as good with the commenting as Red. I’m a lurker. It’s one of my many, many shames).

But Red and I are just kind of in different places than we were three years ago, and unfortunately blogging on GitW just doesn’t fit into our lives anymore. Well, Red is in a different place. My life is remarkably, embarrassingly exactly the same. Seriously the biggest thing I’ve done in the last 3 years is move – to an apartment a half a mile away from my old one.

I digress … The thing is, we just haven’t found stuff to blog about the way we used to, and rather than letting our beloved GitW stand vacant without proper closure, we wanted to formally announce to the Interwebz that we’re putting the old girl down. We’ve had some awesome times, from declaring our crushes, to ranking albums, to even releasing some songs of our own. To you folks who’ve been there along the way, thank you so much. Don’t think of this as ending. Think of it is as a beginning – to your life without Gingers is the Watchword.

To everything, turn, turn, etc.

Liz (and Red)

Pacey-Con

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

God. Joshua Jackson is the best.

"The Facebook movie" actually looks good!

Check it out! When I heard they were making a "Facebook movie," like most people I thought it was going to be some silly teen flick where the main character's life is flung wildly out of control by Facebook, a la Patrick Dempsey in "Can't Buy me Love." OK, maybe I'm the only person who thought that, but regardless, it turns out that "The Social Network" is actually about the founding of Facebook, which is an interesting story, and it takes place in Boston when I was going to college there, so double win.

Honestly, this cover of Creep alone kind of makes me want to see it:

Could this man BE any hotter?!

I mean, geez louise!

Betty + Floyd = Love

January Jones and Jason Sudeikis are dating. As Liz said when I broke the news to her, "Stupid attractive people, cornering their own market."

January Jones loves Liz Lemon's sloppy seconds.

Liz and Red's All-Star Chat

I don't expect anyone to actually read this, but I found this conversation Liz and I had during the All-Star game pre-show hilarious and so I'm posting...for posterity or something.

8:00pm

me: WTF? Pre-game show?!

Elizabeth: Yeah, this All Star game probably won't get underway for an hour and a half. I'm really starting to hate sports

me: what?!?!?! It's already 8 here and I have to be AT work at 7 tomorrow :(:(:(:(

Elizabeth: Welcome to watching sports on the East Coast

me: sucks

Elizabeth: I'm exaggerating about the hour and a half, but it won't start right away

me: boo-urns. dude how long is Girardi gonna have braces?

Elizabeth: The Yankees manager? I didn't know he had them

me: yeah, he does and has for quite awhile

Elizabeth: He always looks pissed off. I don't think I've ever seen him smile.

Really though, LeBron was kind of the tipping point. I'm starting to hate sports. Or at least the way they’re broadcast.

me: well ESPN has been really terrible for awhile now, for sure

Elizabeth: Yeah. It’s that, it’s the fact that athletes are mostly a-holes who are paid more than the GNP of a lot of countries .... It’s a lot of things

me: yeah, I hear that. It's the fact the Berman and Joe Buck still have freaking jobs!!!

Elizabeth: Right???

me: Buddy!

Elizabeth: haha what's he doing there?

me: and Boch!

they are on the coaching staff apparently. you don't have it on in the office?

Elizabeth: We do

I was just about to say "Bud Black!" to you. You beat me too it

We have the sound down though. I didn't know why Buddy was there.

I guess Manuel picked him as a bench coach

me: yeah. guess so

Ow!!!

Elizabeth: what? I wasn't watching

me: Halladay

Heath!!!

Adrian!!!

Okay, I'll stop now

Are they seriously booing?! That's lame

Elizabeth: Who are they booing (we have the sound down)

me: the Red Sox

and they sortof boo'ed the Giants players, too

and the Yankees

Elizabeth: I like it. Angels fans getting a little teeth :)

me: but it's the All Star game!

and they cheer Albert? Stay classy SoCal

Elizabeth: I have no problem booing people in the All Star game.

me: they all laughed it off so I guess it's cool

Elizabeth: Yeah I don't think any feelings are getting hurt, don't worry

If I were an Angel fan, I'd hate the Sox too. We've beaten them a few times

me: yeah, but they are a stupid team who shouldn't exist anyway.

Elizabeth: haha, now who's being mean? Their name is stupid. I recognize their right to exist

me: They cheer for people in their division and boo Joe Girardi. They are dumb

Elizabeth: Look at these actors, being all serious

me: This makes me laugh, This is the All-Stars among us thing

I still heart Julia

I don't care

Elizabeth: Was she in it? I just Ford, Affleck and McConaghey

me: she was first! Julia follows no one!

Elizabeth: I think someone from Glee is singing the nat'l anthem

Way to synergize, Fox!!

Dude, MLB puts everything about the All Star game except the rosters on its Web site. I finally ended up on Wikipedia, as usual

me: what did we do before Wikipedia?

Elizabeth: Lived in darkness

me: pretty much

wow. homegirl just changed keys in the first 2 bars

Elizabeth: ouch

me: I didn't do that when I SANG THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT A CHARGERS GAME :p

Elizabeth: hahaha of course you didn't. You're perfect

me: and it was pre-recorded.

Elizabeth: I'm sure her's is too

me: I don't think so. parts of it where a complete mess.

Elizabeth: Maybe that was her best take!

That's how much better than her you are.

me: hahaha. I love you Elizabeth :)

Elizabeth: :)

More f-ing commercials?!?! Seriously. Hate. Sports

me: seriously

Elizabeth: I miss the world cup. I'm so un-American. At least soccer games start when they say they're gonna start

me: exactly

Elizabeth: Oh look, cute kids. Vom. It.

sorry, I'm in a pissy mood.

me: I was thinking the same thing. They are terrible. I hate that people think kids should get to do everything.

David Price!!!

Elizabeth: Are there any players you don't think are hot?

me: Big Papi?

Elizabeth: yeah no Red Sox are hot

me: yeah...sorry

Corey Hart

Elizabeth: Corey Hart looks sad to me. At least he did at the Derby last night

me: he looks like a redneck

Elizabeth: a sad redneck

me: yes

Elizabeth: I wish Cano got an error. F-ing yankees

Although, other than the yankee players - Go AL!

me: haha right, right

Elizabeth: I think this is the NL's year though

me: yeah...fingerscrossed!

And then Liz had to go home. Good times, ya'll good times.

Everyone's Watching Louie, Right?

Something weird is happening on FX. Louis CK (so adorable as Leslie Knope's former boyfriend on Parks and Rec) is writing and directing a social commentary piece disguised as a comedy. It is very funny...with clips of Louie's stand-up mixed with scripted material about his life and his kids and his terrible body. But then there's stuff like the clip below, which is actually saying something in a really interesting way (WARNING: Language NSFW):



I just find things like this so interesting. It's like when Rescue Me became a theater piece for awhile last season. It's nice to see there are places on cable really pushing the envelope and "saying something." It's like it negates all the terrible things MTV has to offer on it's entire lineup.

Welcome to the summer of Liz's discontent

What a crap year for summer movies. Last night I was considering going to my local cineplex to see what Hollywood had to offer, and there was seriously nothing worth the cost of entry.

No.

Here is what was playing:

Get Him to the Greek: Jonah Hill annoys me and my jury is still out on Russell Brand.

Knight and Day: I have actually considered seeing this, because it includes a chase scene through Boston, but reviews have been bad.

The A-Team: I seem to remember the A-Team riding around in a van. Ads for this movie had them jumping out of airplanes into helicopters. Haven’t you warped my childhood enough, Hollywood?

The Last Airbender: Time to hang it up, M. Night.

Twilight: Eclipse: One of these days I am probably going to break down and get into Twighlight. But not today. Not today!!!

Toy Story 3: I’ve actually heard good things about this, but I still haven’t seen Toy Story 2, so …

Grown Ups: This will be my hell.

Splice: While I do heart Adrien Brody, I don’t heart craptastic horror.

The Karate Kid: See my feelings on The A-Team.

I saw this coming, of course. Back in May, I read a summer movie preview and realized there was almost nothing I wanted to see. But I’m still a bit slack jawed at the festering garbage dump that is this year’s summer season. I saw an art house flick called Winter’s Bone that was pretty good, but in typical art house fashion it’s a small movie and a total downer. I like my summer movies to be big and loud but also entertaining and inventive. Most of these movies go the “big” and “loud” parts right, but little else.

Maybe this fall will bring better fare. Oh, what’s that you say? The fall lineup includes a seventh Saw movie and the third installment in the Meet the Parents saga called Little Fockers? That’s it. I’m moving to France.

Emmy time already?

Aww, Sookie Sookie

Emmy nominations come out Thursday. If I were in charge of picking the nominees (and, God willing, one day I will be), I would pick as follows:

Best Drama:
- "Breaking Bad"
- "Mad Men"
- "Friday Night Lights"
- "Dexter"*
- "True Blood"

Best Comedy:
- "30 Rock"
- "Parks and Recreation"
- "Community"
- "Modern Family"**
- "True Blood"***

I would give "Treme" a ton of acting nominations, but I don’t think it was quite there yet for a Best Drama nod. Ironically, it will probably get nominated this year because the Emmy people have been so deeply shamed over never nominating "The Wire." This is how the entertainment industry works.

If "Two and a Half Men" gets nominated for anything, I’m boycotting this year’s awards.

What do you guys think?

* I haven’t actually seen the most recent season of Dexter, but I’ve heard its as good as the last few, and I’ve loved the last few. Its time the entire show – and not just Michael C. Hall – got some love.

** I’ve only seen a few episodes of this show, but I did enjoy it, and what’s more is it’s cool to see a really well done show become so popular, as opposed to the usual garbage that everyone watches.

*** Yes, I’m nominating it for both drama and comedy, because three years in, I honestly can’t decide which one is supposed to be. And I mean that in a good way.

OMFG FINAL HARRY POTTER TRAILER!

Well it's here friends, the first look at the the final installment of the Harry Potter movies. Trully the end of an era. In its infinite greed, Hollywood has decided to stretch the end of that era over an 8 month period, but whatevs.

This is the trailer for the two part "Deathly Hallows" film. I wasn't crazy about the film version of the "Half Blood Prince" - the whole thing felt rushed and flat. Since the book version of "Deathly Hallows" touched my soul, I hope they shapen up for the last go 'round. Judging by the insanely over the top operatic music in the background here, I think we're off to a good start.

Who wants a Brazilian?

Check it out: Brazilian soccer nickname generator! Mine is either "Mallinhosa" or "Elizabeto," depending if I go by Liz or Elizabeth. I think I'll take "Mallinhosa." Either way, it beats this guy's nickname.

Heh, poop.

Fact!

Anyone who says Prince William is dreamier than Prince Harry is clearly blind.

Plus, Harry is a do-gooder who throws out a respectable ceremonial first pitch:



Clearly, the newly single(ish) Harry is the prince of choice*.

*anyone who mentions the Halloween Nazi costume thing is dead to me

Bangs, Take U to Da Movies

Awesome new rap song...Sudan represent!

I Don't Get It, but I like it!

I'm not entirely sure what these new Allstate ads are all about, but I love having Ryan O'Riley/Johnny Gavin/Dennis Duffy pop up regularly on my TV:

Beer of Whenever

Party people!!! So right this very second, I am drinking this not very photogenic beer. It's called Saison du BUFF and it's created by dudes from Stone + Dogfish Head + Victory! I think we can all agree that automatically makes it delicious. Pick one up in your local cheese/fancy beer shop (oh, you don't have one of those in your charming little town? Sucks to be you! Move to Williamsburg where the cool kids live! (seriously, please move here...I have no friends)).

Anyway, this beer is lovely and very summery and warms my heart because it unites us Stone lovers with you Dogfish Headers. I recommend.

P.S. USA! USA!

Oi! Oi! Eh?

All this World Cup broohaha has got me wondering: Why don’t we have hooligans in the United States? Not soccer hooligans, obviously. We barely have soccer. But sports hooligans in general?

Movies and the Internet have taught me that in other countries, especially England, every soccer team has a “firm” of hooligans who get into fights with opposition fans. The US has nothing like this. Raider fans are close, but that’s just one team, and they’re not exactly organized, not the way these hooligan firms are.

I’m really kind of fascinated by this. Here are my theories:

- We’ve got the guns: You don’t see that much brawling in the US because there is always the fear someone’s gonna have a gun and turn a harmless barroom punchup into a massacre.

- We have more than one sport: Soccer is king in most other countries. The US has football, baseball, basketball and hockey to divide our attentions. Having different outlets for fandom keeps the crazy in check.

- Teams are more spread out: The city of London has dozens of pro soccer clubs, including five in the Premiership. This means the fans are rubbing up against one another. Imagine if the Red Sox and Yankees played in the same town.

- We pretend we don’t have a class system: In many cities around the world with more than one club, it’ll be decided that one club is for posh people, another for the proletariat; one is for Protestants, the other for Catholics, etc. The teams are therefore an even greater extension of your identity. In the US, people don’t proudly cling to their class. If anything, it’s the opposite: If you’re rich, you’d want to root for the working class team to prove you’re not a snob. If you’re poor, you’d want to be associated with the perceived team of wealth.

That’s all I can come up with, what do you guys think? Also, do you think its changing in the US? Lakers fans rioted after the win last night, and I may or may not have participated in sports riots after big wins by the Red Sox and Patriots in the last ten years. Maybe we won’t be hooligan free for long.

Raves: June 2010 (World Cup Edition)

How have I not talked about the World Cup yet? I love the World Cup, but in an American-who-knows-very-little-about-soccer kind of way. Here are my Raves about the WC thus far. (And for you haters, stay tuned to the end. I do have a few jeers).

- No ads during games: Having grown up watching American sports that go to commercial every time a player sneezes, I love, love, LOVE watching a game that just goes for 45 minutes at a time. And unlike regular club soccer, most of the players don’t have ads on their shirts during the World Cup.

- Rad Jerseys: Speaking of the players shirts … there is just something so cool about soccer jerseys. This year, my favs are Slovenia, Denmark, Portugal, Spain and France. Sadly, the US jerseys make them look like they’re wearing pageant sashes. Dislike.

- Not banning vuvuzelas: I find the “swarm of bees” sound created by the incessant blowing of vuvuzela horns as annoying as the next non-African, but I’m still glad FIFA hasn't banned them from the stadiums. South Africa has had a rough go of it over the years, and hosting the World Cup is a great celebration for them. Let them party as they see fit.

- Hot soccer players: You knew you weren’t getting through a Gingers is the Watchword post without mention of good looking boyzz! It really does boggle my mind how so many soccer players are just drop dead gorgeous. Why is that? I know they’re all in terrific shape and all that, but so are football, basketball and hockey players, and I don’t find nearly as many of them attractive. Maybe its because they don’t have helmet hair. I'd give specific examples of hotties, but I have no idea who any of these people are.

Hi Steven Gerrard, hiiii!

- Keeps my mind off the Celtics and Red Sox: My basketball team got destroyed in game 6 of the finals last night and is limping into a game 7 on the road against the hated Lakers. My baseball team is 4 games back of two teams that show no signs of slowing down this summer. I need a sports distraction, and this odd little game where you can’t use your hands is just the ticket.

Jeers

OK, there are a few things that bug me about the World Cup ...

- Stoppage time: In soccer, instead of just stopping the clock, the refs keep track of how long play stopped, and tack it on at the end. You never know how much it’ll be until the end of 90 minutes. And sometimes, even if the refs say its 4 minutes extra, they’ll let play continue for 4 minutes and 27 seconds, just to keep things interesting. This drives me batty. Just stop the clock!

- Americans calling it football: I know some people who are trying to seem worldly this month by calling soccer “football.” Listen, we have different words for a lot of things. For example, the Brits call cookies “biscuits,” apartments “flats” and bathrooms “toilets.” Other countries have completely different languages, with different words for everything! Does it make more sense that a sport in which a ball is kicked with a foot is called “football,” as opposed to a sport where the ball is thrown and caught with the hands? Sure. But what’s done is done. In America, we drive on the right hand side of the road, and we call it soccer. This doesn’t make us ignorant or stupid. Just different. And as we all learned in kindergarten, different is OK.

Flopping: The fake injury situation is out of control. You’re trying to win the World Cup lads, not an Oscar.

Something New

Due to the immense popularity of my Facebook status updates quoting my mom during my cross country drive, I've started a new Tumblr of quotes and thoughts from my new life in Virginia. I'm trying to post one a day. Check it out and let me know what you think!

I'm Baaack!

Hi guys! How're things? Did ya miss me? The Padres certainly did and are now a game out of first place in the NL West. All good things and whatnot.

Anyway, the point is me! I made it to Virginia. I knew this state and I would get along when my mom and I drove through Draper, VA.

Williamsburg is lovely and has just about everything a girl could want. I found an apartment and the Trader Joe's and the Chipoltle (these things are important) and I'll start work on Monday. Tonight, I'll drive about an hour to hang out with our old pal, Garney. It's all happening.

So, um yeah. Just wanted to check in and say hi. My eyes have gazed upon a few things I'd like to share with you, but I forget what they are now. Hopefully, I'll get back into the swing of things next week. For now, have a lovely weekend, get excited for the True Blood season premiere Sunday and watch USA beat England on tomorrow in the World Cup!

xoxo Gossip Girl Red

Oil of "Oh, Lord"

Man this oil spill is a nightmare. Just a clusterf*ck of epic proportions. I'd always felt bad about it, but now that I've actually been to the Gulf coast (sort of) and heard first hand how much its going to devastate that awesome region - from fishing, to tourism to poor little oil covered pelicans - it really breaks my heart.

As you know, once in a while we like to break out of our shell here at GitW HQ and offer a helping hand to the world at large. If you're interested in lending a hand, here are some things you can do:

- Go down and clean up oil! If you want to volunteer to scrub that stuff, go to OilSpillVolunteers.com. This is only recommended for people who actually live down there.

- Buy Dawn. The soap maker is donating $1 of every bottle of dish soap it sells toward cleaning up the spill. Apparently dish soap is very helpful in getting oil off little critters.

- Throw money at the problem. This is usually my strategy. The National Wildlife Federation, Alabama Coastal Foundation and Audubon Society are all involved in the cleanup and could use some coin.

- Write angry letters. This one tells the President to pass more wetlands protection legislation, this one calls for a halt to offshore drilling (if you're politically inclined that way).

- Boycott BP. These guys are really just the worst. I know there's a tendency for some people (myself included) to go overboard with the whole, "Blame the corporations!" shtick, but it really does look like there were warning signs on the Deepwater Horizon rig that BP ignored in order to avoid shutting down for a few days because it would have cost them a few million dollars. Because of that, they've lost billions of dollars and destroyed an entire economy and ecosystem. Bravo, lads! Keep in mind, BP brands include Castrol, AmPm and ARCO.

(Note: I stole a lot of these ideas from my former co-worker's blog, and she in turn stole them from US News & World Reports. Gotta give credit where credit is due).

Godspeed, Red!

Well she's gone folks. Red left this past weekend for Virginia, where she will wear period clothing and aid and abet the military industrial complex.

She is somewhere in America right now - I'd imagine around Tennessee. Everyone send out your hopes and prayers that she arrives safely and enjoys her new job and home! (Meanwhile, I'll be secretly hoping she hates it so that she'll come home to me. Mmmmwahahahaha!)

Back to back from Dave H? has it ever been seen B4?

OK, here is the deal. We are doing a Yacht Rock Blog Party somewhere in this damn United States of America. It should be in one somebody's home town where they live right now. VA, NY, SD it really does not matter. I will look into the cost of renting a boat and karaoke machine.

Secondly, for those that don't know I am a law school dropout. However, I was just informed via facebook that our year 1 law school fantasy football league from Indiana University, Bloomington is still active. After going Ricky Williams on my JD, the league decided to name the fantasy league trophy after me. However they did not know my middle name starts with a "W" so instead they put "F." So there is now a David F. Harrington Memorial Law School Dropout Awesomeness Fantasy League trophy in existence. Seriously, I almost shed a tear. I also told 'em don't hand that shit over to the Smithsonian until I pass on...posthumous is always more legendary.

Anyways, I thought that was a funny story, but maybe you had to be there. On my facebook. And MALCOLM you wanted more Yacht Rock well here it is, my catalogue is goes deep, Little River Band here we gooooo...

Someone has to post so might as well be me

Red and Liz are gone on vacation right now in New Orleans. So I'm sitting here late at night listening to my "Ambrosia" station on Pandora.com thinking what to write about.

"That's how much I feeeeel..."

First of all those two chicks better be helping clean BP oil off of beaches, swamps and sickly pelicans. Put down those hurricanes and make sure to scrub under the wings and between the legs ladies!

Seriously for me this BP shit is not funny. My grandparents owned a house along the gulf in Alabama that I used to visit every year. It's a nice area, and what's happening sucks. But as I said before the US is hooked on gas like fucking cigarettes so something like this is the tumor we earned. Or something like that.

"I saw your face and that's the last I've seen of my heeaaaart..."

I've been reading "The Geography of Nowhere" by James Kunstler. Definately worth checking out. It is about how our man-made environment in the United States sucks. We don't have real houses anymore, just a bunch of pre-fab, disbosable, stucco lined shit-holes. No wonder the housing market crashed, it really does suck living in a tract home if you know what a real house that's made to last is like. Check out his blog "ClusterFuck America" at www.kunstler.com

"Hold the line, love isn't always on time, whoa whoa whoa"

OK I'm out, whoever knows who sang the lines to those three songs gets a prize. Hint: They are NOT all Ambrosia.

Wait wait, here comes another one, DAMN YOU DAVID PACK... "I know you're the only woman I've been dreamin offfff..."

Bonus: "And I've got such a long way to go, make it to the border of Mexico...ride like the wind"

RIP Gary Coleman!

The urge to make a bad "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?" pun is overwhelming, but respect for the dead shall win out. Rest in peace Gary Coleman. You'll be remembered fondly.

Liz and Red's Great New Orleans Adventure

Down in the Treme/just me and my bay-beh

You guys!!! Tomorrow morning, Liz and I embark on a trip we planned back in January! We're going to New Orleans, yo! Home of the Super Bowl Champion Saints! And Treme! And yummy rum drinks! And, like, zero liquor laws! We, obviously, cannot wait. I wish you could all come with us, but you can't...so suck it up and plan your own trip. Geez!

Anyway, all the blabbering to say we will be MIA for a few days. We will regale you with awesome stories upon our return. You probably won't even notice, but if you miss us, just come clickity click on the Liz Lemon song down there. You know you love it.

Have a great weekend!

Liz Lemon, You're My Hero

Here now, we present The Let's Makeout's homage to Liz Lemon...and our final single for the foreseeable future:



It's ridiculous...and we love it.

P.S. Please don't mock the crappy video skillz. The lovely Falwless is MIA so I had to make something myself (the horror!).

Because you need to know my thoughts on these things ...

At some point this week, I want to write one of my patented Long-Winded, Over-Analytical Posts That Ultimately Figures Out Nothing regarding my thoughts on the Lost finale and how it ties into the greaters joys and flaws of television in general. But for now, I will just say that our final 2.5 hours on The Island left my heart soaring and my brain grumbling.

What did you guys think?

You didn't really think that because Lost ended I wouldn't find excuses to post pictures of its gorgeous cast members anymore, did you brutha?

... But now I'm found

Oh heavy-handed light and dark metaphors, I think I’ll miss you most of you.

An era ends this weekend when Lost - the show about everything - closes out its six year run Sunday night. Will we get any satisfactory answers to the questions of science, faith, philosophy and smoke monsters that have been raised time and again for the show's tropical castaways? Probably not. Will I be a huge dork and wrap paper around cans of beer so they look like Dharma Beer? Shut up!

For those of you who care about Lost, here are some article that might interest you:

- This one from the Washington Post proclaims that Lost was the perfect show for this decade. It reaches, but I’ll allow it.

- The New York Times tries to bully us with big words into thinking the show sucks. They’re wrong!

- Here, the Boston Globe says that Lost was really pretty cheesy for something so groundbreaking, but that makes it all the more endearing. Sure, why not?

As for those of you who never liked Lost and are glad we won’t be talking about it anymore … I hope your consciousness gets unstuck and you don’t have a constant! You heard me.

Namaste!

We Can Do Anything Good!

I want to be this little girl when I grow up.



Happy Friday everyone!

The Wide World of Bad Sports Songs

We gave up sports blogging long ago here at GitW HQ, but sometimes the world of sports bleeds into ... whatever the hell this blog is supposed to be about. Here are two awesomely bad sports song videos that you must see:



I should probably cut this one some slack, because it's supposed to be a joke. Trouble is, its just not that funny. Look to 30 Rock for better "We are the World" parodies, Cleveland.

Then there's this:



Yeah, that's Scott Stapp of Creed singing a theme song for the Florida Marlins. Where was this kind of A material when we had a sports blog?

Really, Starbucks? Really?

We're still using "Booyah"? Really?

WORDS made me do it...

He commented that he hadn't met Mr. Bubb Rubb yet, well here it is if you haven't met him or Little Sis:

Deep Thoughts With Red

The biggest problem with Lost this season is not the lack of reveals or explanations. This biggest problem is everyone in the sideways world remembers they were on Oceanic flight 815. I mean, seriously. Who remembers their flight number?

GiTW happy b-day Youtube part 2

C'mon you all saw this one coming...

Happy Birthday, YouTube!

YouTube turns 5 today. As a present to you all, here's a video that makes it look like Bill O'Reilly and Christian Bale are yelling at each other:



Thanks, YouTube.

These are the jokes

Stand up comedy is probably the most difficult form of performance, and nowhere was this more apparent than at an open mic night that Red and I attended last night. These “comics” were just painfully, piteously, awfully bad. So bad that it inspired me to come up with a list of subjects and pratfalls to avoid should any of our readers consider attempting stand up comedy in the future. Take this advice – please!

- The word “vagina” is not inherently funny. Not that there aren’t some good vagina jokes out there, but the word is not a joke unto itself. Now flugelhorn, that’s a funny word.

- When in doubt, don’t just swear. All it does is prove that you were in doubt.

-There is very little that can be said about Vegas without sounding like you’re ripping of Swingers or The Hangover. Unless you have a truly original Vegas story, leave that stuff at home.

- Homer Simpson is never wrong: Things are funny because they’re true. If you’re making a joke out of a situation, it’ll only work if it’s real. So make sure the situation your portraying isn’t full of plot holes.

- Women aren’t the enemy. It’s disappointing that so many male comedians still think tearing down the fairer sex makes for good material. Look to guys like Louis C.K. for more interesting (and funnier) takes on male/female relationships.

- If you’re bombing, exit gracefully. Every (and I mean every) comedian has bombed at some point in his or her career. You learn from it and move on. But while it’s happening, don’t insult the audience, and get your unfunny ass off the stage ASAP. The odds of the situation improving are about as good as your odds of scoring with any ladies in attendance after your whole act revolved around them being simpering morons.

Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose!

Friday Night Lights comes back tonight, y'all! I am forever in Red's debt for convincing me to get into this show.

This season already aired on DirectTV, and those who saw it have said it's good. Us old fashioned cable types will get to judge for ourselves this evening at 8:00 on your local NBC affiliate. Rumor has it that the transition to East Dillon High works well, and despite him leaving for San Antonio State at the end of last season, this year still manages to be "very Riggins-y." Mama like. Hey, I may be firmly on Team Saracen, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy looking at Taylor Kitsch up there. R'arrrr!

May Album Extravaganza!

Hi InterWeb friends! By some trick of the cosmos, a lot of good bands are putting out albums this month. A few arrive today, others on different Tuesdays this month. (Sidebar: Does anyone know why albums and DVDs always come out on Tuesday? I'd love to know).

Through means both nefarious and completely on the up and up, I got a hold of a lot of these albums early. Some like, crazy early. So allow me to suggest what you should let into your ears in the coming weeks:

Broken Social Scene: Forgiveness Rock Record The Canadian band that has literally had 25 members over the course of its existence - the most famous being Feist, the girl from Metric and the two singers from Stars - releases its fourth (and possibly, in my opinion) best album today. If you get only one rock album with lush instrumentals and soaring choruses this year, make it this one!


The Hold Steady: Heaven is Whenever Listen, I love me some Hold Steady. Me and Red are going to see them tonight, in fact! But ... I was just the tiniest bit disappointed in the band's fifth album, which comes out today. The sound is somewhat flat and tired. It has its moments, like the song "The Weekenders," which includes the line: "She said, 'The theme of the this party's the industrial age / And you came in dressed like a train wreck.'" But if you don't know the band, I'd suggest picking up previous efforts like Separation Sunday or Boys and Girls in America first.


The New Pornographers: Together Here is an example of a band that's been doing it for a while but still making it sound fresh every time. Yet another Canadian super group, The New Pornographer's latest, Together, comes out today, and is awesome. I'd explain more, but this thing is getting long. But I mean, just look at that cover art! Highly recommended.


The National: High Violet The National writes what I like to call "grower songs." They usually start kind of slow and build. Sometimes they just stay slow. They might not grab you the first time you hear them, but pretty soon they've wormed their way into your brain and heart. Their third album High Violet comes out next week, May 11, and while it might not be as good as their last effort (my Best Album of 2007), it's pretty darn good.


LCD Soundsystem: This is Happening This album comes out in two weeks, but I expect you'll hear a lot about it, especially at the end of the year when people start doing "Best Of" lists. Despite the desperate pleas of main guy James Murphy, I got a copy early (sorry, dude) but at least he can find solace in the fact that most of us who have heard it early are talking about how freakin' great it is. More dancy, electronic-rock music with witty lyrics, that somehow keeps getting better with each record.

So that's what I got. Did I forget anything? Do you have differing opinions on these collections of songs? Do you know why new albums always come out on Tuesdays? The people must be told!