Top 5: Characters I Most Relate To

Last week on Mad Men, Peggy had a moment that hit me like "Whoa. I have so done that!" So, naturally, I decided to collect other such moments and post them. This proved to be damn near impossible, so instead, here are the top 5 characters that are so like me at times, it freaks me out:

The aforementioned Peggy Olsen from Mad Men - As much as I love and wish I were like Joan, I really relate most often to Peggy (she had that amazing line in the Season 2 finale that still kills me). While not as career driven as Pegs, her single gal, imitating Ann-Margaret in the mirror and kickin' it with the boys act is totally my scene. Plus, I, too, would probably fall for Pete Campbell because I am just that retarded when it comes to men.

Norah from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist -Norah (played by Kat Dennings...love!) is goofy and awkward and a dreamer and responsible and cool and dorky and, again, willing to settle for crappy guys who simply take notice. I like to think I "was" Norah in high school, but I'm pretty much still like her today...except I don't punch people in the throat (though not from lack of desire, mind you).

Liz Lemon from 30 Rock - Liz said to me recently "We decided last night that you are Liz Lemon, except not that pathetic parts." I had to disagree, as I think I am MOST like Lemon in her pathetic parts, but it was one of the best compliments I'd ever received. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my slanket working as hard as I play.

Charlotte from Lost In Translation - I know a lot of people find this movie incredibly dull and pointless, but it's one of my all time faves. I like the loneliness. Also, it reminds me of when I was married (yes, I was married...there's some "mixing in more about ourselves" business you are all clamoring for), making fun of stupid people and my spouse thinking I was a jerk for doing so. Stupid know-nothing spouses.

Angela Chase from My So-Called Life - I never had a hot boyfriend like Jordan Catalano or a nerdy neighbor like Brian Krakow or parents like Graham and Patty. I did have friends like Rayanne Graff and Sharon Cherski, but, in hindsight, I my life wasn't much like Angela's at all. That didn't stop me from identifying with it like hell. However, rewatching the series now, I see more clearly the follies of youth (kinda like when I re-read Catcher in the Rye in college and realized Holden Caufield was immature and not the all knowing truth proclaimer I'd thought him to be in high school). I guess this, as the shitty band says, is growing up.

Your characters who hit close to home in the comments, por favor...

I'm Peggy Olsen and I want to smoke marijuana

Top 5: Things it Would be Impossible for me to Care Less About

John and Kate Plus 8 - Do people really watch this show? Or is it one of those things the media covers, but no one actually watches? Like The Hills.

No Doubt: Back on Tour - They haven't recorded an album together in years. Seriously, who wants this?

Where Clarie has been on Lost - She'll be back eventually to tie up her lose ends...and I still won't really care. I mean, she's no John Locke.

Twitter and a possible Twitter TV show - Fail!

How tough it is for Jessica Biel to land decent roles because she's too pretty - Boo effing hoo, Jessica.

I'm really gonna cry for you and your incredible hotness tonight *eye roll*

Rant: Megan Fox is Lame

Okay. I think we can all agree Megan Fox is smokin' hot. She's always half naked on the cover of some men's magazine and props to her for that. I've never had a problem with her...until now. Check out this quote from a recent interview in Esquire:

I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson – who I have nothing against, but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've every learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard – but I do.

Oh no she di'int call out my girl Scarlett like that! I abhor when people, especially dizzy starlets famous solely for their looks, use the whole "You only use big words to seem smart" argument. Uh, no, dummy. People use big words because they are smart! And really, you just totally disproved the "I'm not a retard" thing. Congrats!

At the Movies: He's Just Not That Into You

At one point, I had plans with 3 different groups to see He's Just Not That Into You, the big screen version of a self-help book based on a Sex and the City episode (you got that?). After the reviews came out, and the critics basically said it was terrible, I cut my viewings down to one...which turned out to be one too many.

HJNTIY is, in a word, insulting. It follows 4 couples at different stages in their relationships. You've got the overly anxious single gal (Ginnifer Goodwin) and the dude who gives her advice about men (Justin Long), the couple who've been dating for 7 years, but the guy "doesn't believe in marriage" (Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck), the married couple who've lost their spark (Jennifer Connolly and Bradley Cooper), and the friends with benefits (Scarlett Johansson and Kevin Connolly), but one of them wants more, and Drew Barrymore, the unlucky in love comic relief (note there's not one "single and happy about it" person in the mix). Essentially, it's every possible set-up for a romantic comedy, ever, but without the charm or, well, romance.

Early on, Goodwin's character (Gigi) tells us all the romantic "fairy tales" women hear about men (deciding after 10 years they do want to be married or couples who get back together after a breakup to find the man completely changed and ready for commitment) are the exception rather than the rule. Gigi is The Rule (as are the women in the audience) and, as such, she must play by "The Rules" i.e. don't call a man, don't seem too interested, let him chase you, etc. etc....the things drilled into the heads of women my age for years. And some of these points are well made. Women shouldn't be with a guy who treats them poorly or who doesn't seem interested or who lies and cheats, but that's not really the problem.

The problem with the film is these "Rules" women become the exceptions. The guy who doesn't believe in marriage [Spoiler Alert] suddenly wants to be married. The fella who is turned off by Gigi's over enthusiasm becomes completely infatuated in return. Also, Gigi, as the central figure for the audience to identify with, is a complete caricature of a woman...needy and completely oblivious about her actions or self-worth.

Then there's the Connolly/Cooper/ScarJo triangle. The lovely Jennifer Connolly spends the entire movie being a bitch, only to forgive her husband for his affair with ScarJo. Later, with the straw that breaks their marriage, she leaves him because he's been lying about smoking. Really? This is the message you want to send? Ladies, if a man cheats on you, try and work it out, but if he lies about something like smoking, especially after we added a convenient line of dialogue to let everyone know you really hate smoking, kick him to the curb. Also, I actually hated ScarJo in this and I never hate ScarJo in anything...not even The Island. Add the dated nature of many of the storylines (really, what 30-something still "dates" through myspace?) and the fact that all the even sort of funny bits are in the trailer and I think you see where I'm going with this. Skip this movie. Save yourself your hard earned cash and your dignity.

Top 5: Inappropriate Crushes

News flash: I'm single! And I like men! I realized all my talk of ScarJo and Christina Hendricks may have confused some of you, so I decided it's time to talk about some fellas. Some young fellas. Here's the top 5 dudes I totally crush on...even though they are all under 25:

1. Daniel Radcliffe (19) - Harry Potter may only be 19, but he's coming into his own. I recently watched December Boys, which sucked, but he was kinda hot. And he's now appearing nude on Broadway in Equus. Our little Harry is all grown up.

2. Tristan Wilds (19) - I'll admit it. I like the new 90210. Mostly, I watch for Tristan Wilds (fka Michael on The Wire) as the new Brandon. He's nothing like the old Brandon (except he just got a job at The Peach Pit), but, in just 4 short weeks, he's already landed Kelly Taylor's little sister. What a stud.

3. Shia LaBeouf (22) - No, I will not get over it!


4. Matt Kemp (24, above) - The center fielder for the evil LA Dodgers is so gorgeous, every time he bats I feel the guilt of a catholic school boy. If the Cubs collapse and the Dodgers make it to the series, Kemp will be the single shining light in an otherwise dark world.

5. Hunter Parrish (21) - Hunter plays the eldest son on Weeds. He seemed to spend most of this season shirtless...and we can all thank God for that.

See! Further proof I have weird taste in men...and excellent taste in women.

This (mostly) Just In...

ScarJo is Married - My ex-girlfriend finally tied the knot with Ryan Reynolds. Thankfully, I've moved on. Really. I'm not at all sad about this. I'm very happy for them. Seriously. I didn't die a little inside when I heard this at all. I swear.

Springsteen to Play Super Bowl Halftime Show - As a huge Springsteen fan, I'm totally looking forward to his performance. Here's hoping he plays more from Born to Run than from, say, The Rising.

Project Runway Season 6 Delayed Until January - We'll have to wait a bit longer to see how Lifetime (and the team that brings you The Real World. Yikes!) butchers everyone's favorite fashion reality show. On a similar note, I know everyone thinks Korto has this season in the bag, but I'm thinking Jerell will win the whole shebang. I'm a predicting machine!

Liz and Red Need a Name - Liz and I are in the early stages of forming a 2 woman cover band to rival our "friends" Fever Crotch and we need a name. Any suggestions?

I hope you're happy. *sniff*

This (mostly) Just In...

The Office: The Soap Opera Continues - Everyone's favorite comedy (after 30 Rock, natch) returns tonight with an hour long episode. When we left the Dunder-Mifflinites, Jim's proposal to Pam was cockblocked by Andy's proposal to Angela...who was later spotted by Phyllis getting it on with Dwight. Oh the drama! I'm most looking forward to seeing what happens with the new Toby (Amy Ryan) and Michael. They seem like a match made in heaven, but I'm still not convinced she not just placating him. All will, hopefully, be revealed.

Ricky Gervais: Oscar Host? - After his hilarious appearance on the Emmy's, rumors are swirling Ricky could be next year's Oscar host. This may be filed under the "who really cares" area of your brain, but I'd love to spend 3 hours with Ricky next February...or anytime really.

Survivor: Now in HD - The show no one still watches also returns tonight in the "earth's last Eden," Gabon, Africa. The show will be broadcast in HD for the first time in it's billion year history. Should make for some really gorgeous TV (except when the horribly unwashed humans appear on screen).

Clay Aiken: Gay - I don't know if you've heard (and I'm sure you are shocked if you haven't), but everyone (read: my grandma's) favorite American Idol runner-up is gay. Sorry Grandma.

Hunter Johansson: Future Husband - Why did no one ever tell me Scarlett Johansson has a twin brother? Did it just escape your mind to mention it, people? You really want me to just die alone with 20 cats, don't you? Jerks.

At the Movies: Vicky Christina Barcelona

Yesterday, I ventured to the movie theater midday (not having a job totally rules!) to check out Woody Allen's latest film, Vicky Christina Barcelona. VCB follows Rebecca Hall (Vicky) and Scarlett Johansson (Christina) as they spend a summer in, you guessed it, Barcelona, Spain. Vicky is sensible; engaged to a wealthy business man because he is the logical choice. Christina is impulsive, always in and out of love; looking for passion over logic. (What's that you say? This is the premise of many a Jane Austen novel? How astute you are, dear reader.) Add Javier Bardem as a passionate artist, with a tumultuous past, who invites both Vicky and Christina to join him for a weekend away, and Penelope Cruz as Bardem's insane ex-wife, and things get messy.

Cruz, Bardem and ScarJo are all really fantastic, the scenery is gorgeous, and the script is interesting in the New Woody kind of way (it's much more Match Point then, say, Annie Hall). I was disappointed with Rebecca Hall, in a very uneven performance, and some of Woody's choices (like an awkward narrator), but really all you need to know is P. Cruz and ScarJo make out. Maybe I should have lead with that...

This (mostly) Just In...

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon get Hitched - He's 11 years her junior. This means my potential mate could just be graduating from High School this year. There is hope! (okay, I creeped myself out a little with that one).

Scarlett Johansson is Engaged - My long standing girlcrush plans to marry Ryan Reynolds (who was once engaged to Alanis Morrisette. I imagine Scar Jo is much easier to get along with. Less anger). I'm very happy for her...mainly because I was beginning to worry about her close relationship with Woody Allen. Talk about creepy.

Step away from the old man, Scarlett.

Project Runway News Gets Worse - Apparently, when the show moves to Lifetime, the producers who've made the show so great will walk. This means new producers will come aboard. Lifetime approved producers. I think we can all see where this is going and it ain't good.

The Shia Obsession Continues - Garney just informed me Shia LaBeouf will host Saturday Night Live this weekend. Now, SNL hasn't been funny in ages, but if anyone can give it a much needed boost, it's Shia. mmmm...Shia...

Gingers are Sexy - After the Gingers are Retarded debacle last week, someone found us by searching "Gingers are Sexy." Hooray! I feel I've made a breakthrough here, people.