Friday, October 31, 2008

Quote of the Week

I know, I know. I've been ridiculously lazy this week with the quotes and whatnot. I'd apologize, but I know you've already forgiven me. Today, I really wanted to post Tracy Jordan's "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" to celebrate Halloween, but there's not a full length video (click on the link to listen to the hilarious song. "Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky, scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves."). I also thought of simply re-posting my post from last Halloween proclaiming my top 5 favorite scary movies, but that seemed even lazier than stealing other people's funny stuff. So, I finally decided to post this Halloween related quote from my BFF Annie (who, I realized, is the only person, other than yours truly, that every GitW contributor actually knows, which makes her an honorary Ginger, or something). Anyway, Annie's thoughts on pumpkin carving:

Carving pumpkins is like sex with someone you’ve been dating for a long time . . . its really fun at first, but then about half way though it feels like too much work . . . and then once you are done, it turns out nothing like you were hoping and the clean up is a pain. . .

Happy Halloween, ya'll. Imagine me sitting at my desk as Joan Holloway, trying not to eat all the Reese's.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

30 Rock Quote(s) of the Day

The season 3 premiere of 30 Rock is tonight at 9:30. Watch it or NBC will cancel it and I will cry and I'm already feeling crappy so you wanting to make me cry makes you a total jerk and you should feel ashamed of yourself.

These two quotes are especially for Falwless because she asked to hear from these hilarious characters:

Tracy: So, here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's Shark Week.

Kenneth: I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the Devil's temperature!

And one from Dennis (since I dissed him yesterday and I am insane and think fictional characters have feelings directly related to ramblings on my blog):

Dennis: (Reading from a letter) Dear Liz Lemon: While other women have bigger boobs than you, no other woman has as big a heart. When I saw you getting ready to go out and get nailed by a bunch of guys last night, I knew for sure it was over between us, and for the first time since the ‘86 World Series, I cried… I cried like a big, dumb homo. And if it was up to me, we’d be together forever. But there’s a new thing called "women’s liberation," which gives you women the right to choose and you have chosen to abort me, and that I must live with. So tonight, when you arrive home, I’ll be gone. I officially renounce my squatter’s rights.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

30 Rock Quote of the Day

From my favorite Lemon boyfriend (sorry Dennis), Floyd:

If the whole world moved to their favorite vacation spots, then the whole world would live in Hawaii and Italy and Cleveland.

Let's not get political

Our love for the show Pushing Daisies is well noted on this site, but we've also always acknowledged that the show probably isn't for everyone.

Apparently those for whom it isn't far outnumber us fans, because the show is getting dismal ratings and might be on the chopping block. But tonight, it could potentially get a boost from the millions of Americans who are so over the 2008 Presidential campaign.

Barack Obama (in a move that probably made sense a few months ago when it was planned, but now looks like overkill) bought a half hour of advertising time on a bunch of television networks to sell himself to the 5 remaining undecided voters. For some convoluted reason, ABC didn't sell him the ad time, and so they're showing Pushing Daisies at 8 p.m.

I'm hoping that the viewing masses will turn on their sets, see a block of politics where they wish there was Bones, Dancing with the Stars or America's Next Top Model and start flipping around to other stations. On ABC, they'll be greeted by a show that looks and sounds like no other, and that makes me laugh out loud at least three times an episode.

People will be so intruiged, they'll decide to watch the next week, and the next week, and the week after that. Before long, Pushing Daisies will be a hit! (Or at least spared until next year's upfronts).

And that, my friends, is change we can believe in.

This (mostly) Just In

50 Cent to Host Reality Show - Basically, it's like The Apprentice, with 14 aspiring entrepreneurs battling for 50's respect (and $100,000). Sounds like something I will never watch...ever...and not just because I've pretty much forgotten MTV even exists.

A Return to Melrose Place - Following on the heels of the not very successful 90210 reboot, the CW is looking to remake the early 90's soap fest. As someone who actually digs the new 90210 and who loved Melrose Place even more, I am kinda excited about this news. I've never claimed to have impeccable taste. Oh wait, yes I have.

Obama Infomercial Airs Tonight - The problem with watching Mr. Obama is I already have 2 things to record/watch at 8 and no one keeps me from Tyra and ANTM. No one!!!

Joaquin Phoenix to Retire - Who'll swing away now?! Just to forwarn ya'll, I plan to retire at 34 to pursue my "music career" as well. Only 5 years to go!

Tara Reid says, "I'm Not Perfect" - Also, I am currently breathing.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

30 Rock Quote of the Day

Words of wisdom from Jack Donaghy:

Never go with a hippie to a second location.

Travel Nightmares: A near miss

I was in Hartford, Connecticut for the last four days, performing bridesmaid duties for a college friend. It was fun; I didn’t get around to asking strangers for directions to Stars Hollow like I planned, but still fun.

Then came the plane ride home.

All’s well that ends well, so this actually isn’t much of a travel horror story. But it almost was. My flight from Hartford to Chicago was delayed, and I almost missed my connecting flight to San Diego. The only reason I didn’t was because the connecting flight was slightly delayed also. At first, I was never so happy to see a flight delayed. Then, I was informed that San Diego was fogged in (?!?!) and they were diverting our flight to Los Angeles. They would then put us on busses and drive down to San Diego. This would get us into San Diego at about 1:00 a.m., 4:00 a.m. for those of us (like myself) still on east coast time.

Near the end of the flight, the captain came on and said, “Folks we’re about 40 minutes from landing in … San Diego.” The whole plane burst into applause. It was great. But it got me thinking: This was nearly one of those hellish travel stories that you read about and pray will never happen to you. Have you guys ever actually had one of those stories happen to you?

What’s your worst travel experience?

Monday, October 27, 2008

30 Rock Quote of the Day

In anticipation of the Season 3 premiere of 30 Rock (aka the funniest show on TV), I'll be posting my favorite quotes from the first 2 seasons all week for my your enjoyment. Let's start with this gem from my hero, Liz Lemon, in the episode called "Succession" (which you can view here):

"Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing both thumbs at herself] This moi."

Oh, Liz. You're like my much funnier, long lost sister.

And look! I just found the season 3 premiere on Hulu! What would you do without me?

Marilyn vs. Jackie

The Mad Men finale was on last night. I haven't watched it yet because I am a grandma and it comes on too late (I probably won't watch it tonight either because I must root for the Rays to avoid their first World Series loss (and don't tell me the Phillies deserve to win. I root for a franchise who's never won a World Series in it's 40 year history. Not winning since 1980 doesn't sound too bad to me), but this post is not about baseball), but, as I sorta mentioned in the comments section Friday, Mad Men has me thinking about women and they way they are, well, lusted after.

Mad Men has three female protagonists: There's Betty Draper (the gorgeous January Jones) who's a Jackie Kennedy...beautiful, matronly, Madonna-esque (as in, the blessed mother, not the dance-hall queen); Joan Holloway (my girl-crush Christina Hendricks) who's a Marilyn Monore...curvy, hyper-sexualized and objectified; and Peggy Olsen (Elizabeth Moss, much cuter in person than on the show) who's neither Jackie or Marilyn as she's pretty much devoid of sexuality and almost masculine in her behavior. Putting Peggy aside, the contrast between Betty Draper and Joan Holloway is nothing new. The feisty, psuedo-sexualized woman vs. the saintly mother has always been around (take Scarlett O'Hara vs. Melanie Hamilton or even Joey Potter vs. Jen Lindley). More often than not, it's Marilyn men want to sleep with and Jackie they want to marry. A very understandable choice, I suppose. Date and bed the exciting, yet difficult woman and marry the more stable, if boring, future mother of your children. Makes sense to me.

But what I find interesting is the attention paid to January Jones and Christina Hendricks in the media. January Jones, porno name aside, may be one of the most traditionally beautiful women, like, ever, but size 10 Christina Hendricks gets all the media attention. In a society where, not long ago, size 0 was established as the standard of beauty, I find this rather encouraging. I know most men have always preferred women with curves over the alternative, but this was not really reflected in popular shows like Friends or in the idolization of someone like Angelina Jolie. I guess my question is, why? What's changed in the past few years to generate more buzz for the busty redhead than the former Abercrombie & Fitch model? Or am I just kidding myself? And, perhaps most importantly, are you really still reading these ramblings? Can you answer any of these questions, dear reader?

Friday, October 24, 2008

This (mostly) Just In...

Three things:

First, the Mad Men finale airs Sunday. This season has been pretty fantastic, focusing as much on the women as the agency. Will Peggy's haircut land her a man? Will Betty let Don come home? And will Joan leave her a-hole fiance? My bet is no to all three, but they'll all look fantastic, whatever they do. Speaking of things that look fantastic, check out these Mad Men illustrations. I'm totally obsessed with them. Which leads me to...

My new avatar. No, I did not cave to Mathdude's constant harassment. I just felt like a change, okay? I am almost 30, you know, and 30 is a time for big changes, or something. In fact, my birthday is at the end of next month. More on what you can do to celebrate in the weeks to come.

Finally, check this out because it is truly hilarious:

Thanks, as always, to Garney for the clip. Enjoy a lovely weekend (which I'm sure will not be as lovely as my weekend in sunny San Diego, but bless you for trying).

Thursday, October 23, 2008

At the Movies: W. and Religulous

Last weekend, I saw 2 movies I'd recommend to others. First up was Religulous, Bill Maher's documentary on religion. Bill travels all over the world trying to understand why people believe in Christ and Allah and original sin and, well, faith of any kinda. He criticizes those who follow blindly and arrogantly, and proposes doubt as a necessary, humble component for a better humankind, but, like, he's funny about it. He never really criticizes God/Christ (admiring the latter's position of forgiveness and compassion), but rather the screamers who rail against others in his name (to psuedo-paraphrase John Irving). Whether you are religious or not, Religulous presents an interesting (and hilarious) look at what many people in the world believe (most fascinating, for me, was a comparison of the life of Christ to the Egyptian god Horus. Check it out).

Later, I saw Oliver Stone's W. While not up to his old JKF/Platoon greatness, Stone makes a very compassionate, funny and entertaining film about our current Commander-in-Chief. Following Bush from Yale to the Iraq invasion, Stone presents a man driven by passion, guts and daddy issues, who essentially allows his advisers to really run his presidency (Josh Brolin is terrific as W. Who knew Brand from The Goonies would grow up to be such a great actor?). I saw an interview with Oliver Stone where he said he honestly thinks the only mistake George Bush believes he ever made was trading Sammy Sosa to the Cubs while the owner of the Texas Rangers. And that's the man we see. It gave me a new perspective on Bush...a man I've never liked, but for whom I now maybe feel at least some compassion. And a man who really should probably see Religulous.

That's what you call bringing things full circle. Sometimes, I blow my own mind.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Guess who's coming to dinner

I've been bad about posting lately, and Red is run ragged picking up the slack. So to get back in the swing of things, I'm falling back on one of the most clich├ęd queries of all time: You're having a dinner party and can invite any living person. Who do you invite?

Ask me next week and it might be a totally different list, but right now, I feel like hanging out with these people:

Stephen Colbert On the whole, The Daily Show is still funnier than The Colbert Report, but Stephen himself makes me laugh harder than Jon Stewart. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want this guy passing you the potatoes.

JK Rowling – I’m a total Harry Potter geek, but on top of that, in every interview I’ve read or seen with Rowling she seems like a really cool, down to earth, funny person. Her Harvard commencement speech was pretty good too, and on top of all that, she’d probably bring expensive wine to our little gathering. I definitely need more fabulously wealthy friends.

Quentin Tarantino – More for his record collection than anything else. I’d make him be DJ. And force him to drink decaf.

Michelle Obama – Barack is OK, but I think Michelle would be more fun to hang out with. She'd at least spend less time gazing pointedly into the future, and more time giving us with dirt from the campaign trail.

Matt Damon He can talk about the Red Sox and I can look into his dreamy eyes. Everybody wins! On second thought, maybe I’ll only invite Matt Damon to this thing.

Jenny Lewis Regular readers should have seen this coming 16 miles away. Love. Her.

Joss Whedon – Again, I’m a huge nerd. Joss Whedon created Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and he speaks like his characters in interviews, so I figure having him over for dinner is the closest thing I'll ever get to visiting Sunnydale.

Angelina Jolie – It’s not so much that I’m a big fan. I just have … a lot of questions.

Jack White – I think he’s the most fascinating capital “RS” Rock Star in the world today. Thom York is cool too, but I’m afraid he'd berate me about free trade or some such B.S. all night. Jack White may be weird, but he's not that weird.

Madeleine Albright She speaks 6 languages and had a guest appearance on the Gilmore Girls. What’s not to like? (Again, HUGE nerd).

OK, ya'lls turn. Who would you pick?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Meme Madness

Despite the rapidly plummeting quality of things around these parts, people are talking about us (and asking us to do things). The lovely Red over at What I Like About the Universe tagged me to complete this meme, and as a complete people pleaser, I just couldn't say no. It's called "One Wonders" and I'm meant to reply to the words provided with the first thing that pops into my head (I guess. The rules are not very clear). Here goes:

1. Clothes: I like 'em. They are fun. When purchasing and dressing, I usually ask myself, "What would Stacey and Clinton say?" This works about 95% of the time. The other 5%? I'm a hot tranny mess.

Furniture: Mostly Ikea. What would we do without Ikea?

Sweet: I make a terrific tiramisu.

City: US: Chicago; International: Frankfurt

Drink: Guinness. It's good for you!

6. Music: Anything I can sing along to.

TV Series: My So-Called Life

8. Film: Pulp Fiction

Workout: Walking Torrey Pines on my lunch break.

Pastries: I try to avoid them, but madelines can be a weakness.

Coffee: Yes please.

We were also presented with the award above from the fabulous Malcolm at Pop Culture Dish. The Brilliante Weblog award is so prestigious, I'd never heard of it before. We are supposed to award 7 other blogs with this award, who will then award 7 other blogs, and so on (read the actual "rules" here). I can't decide on 7 so I'm just gonna pick one lucky lady to complete both these memes (or not. Up to her, really). And the winner is...

Danielle over at Don't Stop Believin'! New to the blogger scene, Danielle and Liz are old friends. Danielle loves San Diego and named her blog after a Journey, obviously, she is awesome. Go check her out and congratulate her on her big win.

And thanks to Malcolm and Red for providing me something to post about. You two are the best.

Monday, October 20, 2008

RIP: Mr Blackwell

Mr. Blackwell, the original judge of hot tranny messes, has passed away.

Not to disparage the dead, but he was a mean, old gay man and I have nothing to say about him. Your thoughts?

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Congrats, Red

Congratulations to Red and her Rays for making it to the World Series. Somewhere, Cubs fans are crying bitterly .... even more than usual.

For those of you wondering (and I'm sure you are many), our friendship did manage to survive this series. Largely due to my epic class and grace in the face of defeat, of course.

Friday, October 17, 2008

New Music Friday

Here's some music worth checking out:

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Newstories you'd think are from The Onion or something, but aren't (Vol. 3)

(I had to change up Liz's title a bit for this one).

Some guy in Nebraska tried to sue God. According to the BBC, "He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the 'death, destruction and terrorisation' caused by God." (The Brits apparently spell terrorization with a "s." Who knew?) He kinda has a case, I guess, but the judge threw it out...not for being completely ridiculous, but because God has no physical address to which legal papers can be served. Uh, right. That's the problem with this scenario.

People are effing insane.

God wanted me to post this affirmation for you. Isn't she thoughtful?

Quote of the Week

I should probably be embarrassed how often I've used this lazy post, but really, I'm not.

I'm like the Gaza strip. The one thing the Israelis and Palestinians can agree on is the fact that I'm incredibly good looking. That's the key to world peace right there.

- Red's Stepbrother

As you can see, being incredibly humble and gracious runs in the family.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

At the Movies: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Dear Liz,

So, I have to tell you something. You know how you said you'd go see Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist with me? Well, I went to see it without you yesterday (even after Garney said he'd cry for me and my pathetic little life for seeing a romcom all alone). I know. I'm a jerk, but I really wanted to see it and you had this pesky little think called "work" on the lamest of all holidays (god bless you, government work).

You'll be happy to know I really liked it. Michael Cera is adorable as, well, Michael Cera, but he is maturing. You can see he's a little more than the goofy meta-male he's been in everything else, ever. And Kat Dennings is my hero. Where was she when I was searching for a female role model while in Jr. High/High School? I had to settle for possible lesbian Jodie Foster (not that there's anything wrong with that). Anyway, the movie is basically what you'd expect: Boy is heartbroken over break-up with his skeezy (but hot) girlfriend and he makes her awesome indie rock mixes which fall into the hands of gorgeous, but doesn't know it, girl. Eventually, boy and girl meet and have an awkward time for awhile (just like real life!) and encounter many obstacles while searching for a secret rock show all over New York City. It's really charming and fun and the soundtrack is awesome.

I hope you'll forgive me for going without you, Liz. I'll even see it again with you, if you want...I liked it that much. To quote my favorite line from the movies, "I love you so much, it's retarded."



Friday, October 10, 2008

How to survive an economic crisis

Seeing as we’re rapidly approaching financial Armageddon, it’s about time we got our Economic Meltdown Survival Kits ready. As Gingers is the Watchword’s resident financial expert (which, by the way, is terrifying in and of itself) I’ve taken it upon myself to tell you what you’ll need to survive this new world order.

Newspapers – A dying industry finds hope in dark times, as people remember that its product can double as a source of bedding, clothing, insulation and – in the darkest of hours and truly as a last resort – reading materials.

Scally caps – Not entirely sure why, but downtrodden people seem to love them.

Pliers – Numerous TV commercials and pop up ads have informed me that with currency losing value, the only thing worth having is gold. But you’ll find pretty quickly that your delicate necklaces, bracelets and earrings will barely cover the cost of the rags you’ll need to wrap your feet. Eventually, you’re going to have to go after the mother load: gold fillings. This might sound brutal, pulling out teeth with pliers, but luckily, its mostly older people who still have those. They’re easier to hold down.

Wine –
Alcohol is a gimme, but I find wine really hits the Economic Meltdown mood more than any other. I would, however, also keep an emergency case of Jagermeister on hand, just in case this thing actually gets into The Road territory. Because then you'll want to kill yourself.

DownfallI don’t need to tell you that portable radios, TVs, DVD players and the batteries to operate them are a given in any crisis. But I do need to tell you which specific movies to pack. (In addition to being a financial expert, I’m a “Movie to Fit a Certain Mood” expert as well. You didn’t realize you had such genius in your midst, did you? You’re welcome). Downfall is about the last days of the Third Reich, most of it taking place in Hitler’s bunker. Not only is it a fascinating character study, it also reminds you that no matter how bad things get, they could always get worse. Other good titles to remind you of this: Schindler’s List, The Pianist (Anything involving the Nazis or the Holocaust really), Alive and Bio-Dome (because at least you’re not trapped with Paulie Shore).

Condoms –
I’ll assume explanation is unnecessary. But if not …

Zombie Repellent – It’s a well-known fact that when bankers lose too much money, their flesh turns gray and they acquire a taste for human brains. (Look it up). Keep them at bay by spraying yourself and all your belongings with any designer imposter body spray you can find. That will alert them that there is no – and I mean no! – money near you.

Ben Folds + Dr. Dre = Magic

For Beckeye.

Here is Ben Folds' version of Dr. Dre's classic "Bitches Ain't Shit" (mos def not suitable for blasting in your cube at work). Possibly the funniest effing cover ever. When I saw Ben in concert a few years ago, he told us many people thought he'd recorded the song as a joke, but he said, "If it was a joke, I wouldn't have wasted such a great melody on it." Word, Ben.

That's some real conversation for your ass.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

In Which Someday Google Will Rule Us All

I just stumbled across this little gem. Apparently, you can put "Mail Goggles" on your Gmail account to prevent you from sending late night emails you may later regret. If you ever get the urge to confess your undying love or hatred after a few too many cocktails, Gmail will block those emails until you complete some simple math problems (basically, until Gmail verifies you are coherent enough to broadcast your late night thoughts). I can think of a few emails I would have liked to e-block, but really, I need this for my phone to stop me from sending texts messages after respectable hours. Can someone get on that please?

This picture has nothing to do with the post. It just makes me laugh really hard.

This (mostly) Just In

Life on Mars Premieres Tonight - Having mentioned this US remake on several occasions, I am perhaps the most eager person in America for this show about a present day cop who wakes up in 1973 after an accident. He's not sure if he's dead or in a coma or has actually traveled back in time. I loved the BBC version, like, more than anything ever (except for it's spin-off Ashes to Ashes, which is even better). Here's hoping they haven't fraked it up.

The Riches is Canceled - In news only Garney and I care about, FX announced they will not be bringing the Eddie Izzard/Minnie Driver drama back for another season. It's a shame, really. Now where can we go for our gypsy, con-artist entertainment?!?

Happy Yom Kippur - To all our Jewish readers, I hope this Day of Atonement finds you, um, however you should be on Yom Kippur (mainly hungry, I'm guessing). In your honor, I'm signing up for JDate as someone willing to covert. You're welcome.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The List: Vol. 2

Not just any list...The List. Here's some stuff worth checking out:

TV: Real Time with Bill Maher - So, you still don't have HBO? Get on it, dummy. I hate to admit it, but I get, like, 50% of my news from Bill. He tries to be even-handed, but really he's a crazy liberal just like me. Thank God.

Music: Acid Tongue by Jenny Lewis - The Rilo Kiley front woman has a new solo album and it's totally rad. Spanning genres and time periods, Jenny rocks a little harder and pays quasi-homage to Barbara Streisand with an 8 minute medley. That's my kinda of gal.

Book: Generation Kill - The brilliant mini-series on HBO wasn't enough...I had to check out the source material by Evan Wright, a reporter embedded with Recon Marines during the invasion of Iraq. The Marines are so amazing. You couldn't create characters this interesting or hilarious.

Sports Team: Tampa Bay Rays - Not to beat a dead horse, but you basically have until Friday to choose between good and evil. I have faith in you all to do the right thing (well, except for Liz and Jon. They've already made their choice to get behind the new Yankees. Though, I guess they get a pass for actually being from the Boston area. The rest of you, no pass).

I realized I haven't seen any movies recently to add to The List. Lost is consuming my Netflix and friends are consuming my free time (how dare they!). Don't worry. I'll see something this weekend and tell you all about it. Try and make it until then.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

A Blog Divided

It’s on, people.

Me and Red. Symbolically. And before you get all smart ass, "I'm" totally dodging that hit.

The Battle in the Blogosphere. The War on the Web. Donnybrook is the Watchword.

The stars have aligned to pit my life long loves the Boston Red Sox against Red’s newly acquired paramours the Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Championship Series. (That’s baseball for those of you who don’t like sports, or who aren’t grandparents like us and follow football like normal, God fearin’ ‘mericans.).

Yesterday, Boston beat the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (who are apparently as poor at losing as they are at fielding routine pop-ups), and the Rays beat the Chicago White Sox, guaranteeing a match-up Friday at legendary* Tropicana Field. It’ll be a best of 7 series to see who gets to represent the American League in the World Series.

While Red and I are both big baseball fans, we’ve always managed to live in relative harmony, since her regular team, the Padres, are in the National League, meaning our teams rarely, if ever meet. But when the Padres hit the skids this year and the Rays became the feel good story of the year, Red decided to stake an early claim on the bandwagon. Sure, we knew there was a possibility that the Rays and Sox could meet in the postseason, but I don’t think either of us really thought it would happen.

But now here we are, the strength of our bond tested like never before. My Olde Towne Team facing off against the Worst to First upstarts from America’s Wang. Expect trash talk, tears, hair pulling, and maybe a new haircut for Red if she gets really into it.

May the best team win. And may the blog survive.

* From the catwalks to the Easter basket grass they call “turf,” Tropicana Field is hands down the ugliest park in Major League Baseball. Like I said, there will be trash talk.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Things I Don't Get: The Killer's New Single

Normally, I don't spend much time dissecting song lyrics because, let's face it, a lot of times they just don't make sense (take "I am the eggman," for example. Really John? An eggman? Maybe you are just high). However, "Human," the latest song from The Killers, has me buggin'. The first few times I heard it, I thought Brandon Flowers was asking "Are we human? Or are we dancer?" which frankly, makes no damn sense at all. This morning, I looked up the lyrics and found out he's saying "Are we human? Or are we denser?" which really, well, doesn't make sense either. I've spent the past 45 minutes trying to figure this out. Obviously, he's not sure if we are human, so does he think we are simply more densely populated than humans? Or more stupid? Or we require more concentration to comprehend? I don't get it.

Do you get it? Can you please explain? This song is already everywhere (and I kinda like it), so I have a feeling I'll be pondering this question for at least a month. And again I prove the list of reasons my life is sad could, like, pave a sidewalk of paper around the globe. Probably twice.

Here's an idea: make sense! And get haircuts, you damn hippies!

[Update]: Apparently the lyrics are "Are we human, or are we dancer?" and according to this post on Amazon, Brandon Flowers said, "the lyrics were inspired by a disparaging comment made by Hunter S. Thompson about how America was raising a generation of dancers." So, I guess that sort of makes sense, in a Hunter S. Thompson kinda way. I told you I would think about this for way too long.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Quote of the Week

The official "I've run out of stuff to post about" post is back with this second installment. This quote is brought to you by a former married co-worker, who had this to say after my always amazing karaoke rendition of Tammy Wynette's "Stand By Your Man":

You drink Guinness and sing songs about sex. How are you not married?

If only it were that easy...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Automatic for the People

Really, this is one of my least favorite R.E.M. albums (yeah, you heard me), but overall I'm pretty big fan of the the band, and I ran into a fun little tidbit about the orgin of the album's name. Apparently it comes from the slogan of a restaurant known as Weaver D's in Athens, Georgia:

(WARNING: this clip involves artory-clogging doses of southern fried foods)

Top 5: Inappropriate Crushes

News flash: I'm single! And I like men! I realized all my talk of ScarJo and Christina Hendricks may have confused some of you, so I decided it's time to talk about some fellas. Some young fellas. Here's the top 5 dudes I totally crush on...even though they are all under 25:

1. Daniel Radcliffe (19) - Harry Potter may only be 19, but he's coming into his own. I recently watched December Boys, which sucked, but he was kinda hot. And he's now appearing nude on Broadway in Equus. Our little Harry is all grown up.

2. Tristan Wilds (19) - I'll admit it. I like the new 90210. Mostly, I watch for Tristan Wilds (fka Michael on The Wire) as the new Brandon. He's nothing like the old Brandon (except he just got a job at The Peach Pit), but, in just 4 short weeks, he's already landed Kelly Taylor's little sister. What a stud.

3. Shia LaBeouf (22) - No, I will not get over it!

4. Matt Kemp (24, above) - The center fielder for the evil LA Dodgers is so gorgeous, every time he bats I feel the guilt of a catholic school boy. If the Cubs collapse and the Dodgers make it to the series, Kemp will be the single shining light in an otherwise dark world.

5. Hunter Parrish (21) - Hunter plays the eldest son on Weeds. He seemed to spend most of this season shirtless...and we can all thank God for that.

See! Further proof I have weird taste in men...and excellent taste in women.