Monday, June 30, 2008

Add This to Your Queue: In Bruges

This weekend, while catching up on Season 1 of 30 Rock (which makes me laugh so very hard. Liz Lemon and I are soul mates), I popped in In Bruges starring Colin Farrell and the entire supporting cast of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Farrell plays a newbee hit man partnered with Brendan Gleeson (aka Mad-Eye Moody). After his first job goes a bit awry, the two are sent to Bruges, Belgium by their boss, Ralph Fiennes (aka Lord Voldemort), to hide out for a bit. Farrell is miserable in Bruges, but Gleeson loves the old medieval city and it's charms (yes, they have character names, but I can't be bothered to remember or look them up. If you were expecting a proper film review, you've come to the wrong place, my friend). Anyway, Farrell brightens when he meets a girl (Clemence Poesy aka Fleur Delacroix (who, I just learned, shares my birthday. This, of course, means she's amazing)) while Gleeson deals with his next hit. Add a midget, drugs and annoying Americans and I think you can see why this movie is awesome.

In Bruges is comedy at it's darkest...think Gross Point Blank meets The Departed. Colin Farrell is really funny and by far the best he's ever been (this is how he becomes a real star...not that Alexander, shagging LiLo crap). Gleeson and Fiennes are brilliant, as always. Some people are even calling it the best film of the year so far. So, check it out before it becomes the next movie all the cool kids love. Then you can impress them when you work, "If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't" into a conversation. Everyone will laugh and love you...and isn't that what life is all about? (this post totally fell off the rails there. My apologies).

Friday, June 27, 2008

Reel Resurrection: True Romance

I’ve heard that Christian Slater is going to be on a new TV show this fall on USA. I really hope that’s true - and that the show is halfway decent - because somewhere in the chamber that holds En Vogue and a boy from my 5th grade class named Paul, there is, and always will be, a Christian Slater-shaped hole in my heart.

So it’s kind of weird that I’d never seen True Romance, but that was remedied last night and it didn’t disappoint. I think this movie still turns up on TBS occasionally, so maybe it doesn’t totally require a “resurrection,” but to hell with your standards and rules!

In addition to being a classic Slater performance and showcasing the glory of leopard-print spandex, this movie also sort of introduced the world to Quentin Tarantino, since he wrote it a year before Pulp Fiction came out. (A year after Reservoir Dogs, but if memory serves, Reservoir Dogs gained in fame after PF).

In standard Tarantino fashion, the movie involved a lot of guns, blood, comic books and Elvis references. Its basically about Christian Slater meeting a call girl (Patricia Arquette, she of the spandex) and they fall in love, get married, kill her pimp, accidentally steal a suitcase full of his coke, and try to sell it in Hollywood, unwittingly getting the Mob on their tail.

What’s really cool about True Romance though is the cast. I was blown away watching the opening credits by how many huge names are tucked away because they weren’t big yet: Brad Pitt is hilarious as a stoner roommate; James Gandolfini is a miniature version of his future self as (what else?) a mafia enforcer. Not to mention more noticeable stints by Christopher Walken, Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman and a semi-hidden Val Kilmer.

It’s always nice to have a funny, early ‘90s shoot ‘em up to watch. But it was especially nice to have Christian Slater in his prime one more time. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed him until he was beating up Balki Bartokomous in an elevator.

Yeah, it’s that good.

I Kissed a Girl: Do We Like It?

What do we think about this new song I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry? It's very catchy and has a beat I can dance to (or shake my shoulders to anyway), my best friend is obsessed with it (but then, she is also obsessed with Low by Flo' Rida. Her taste is highly suspect), but I'm still on the fence. I kinda hate the lesbian chic thing, but this video is kinda hot. Help me! Tell me what to think!

I Kissed A Girl

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Trouble with Ninjas

And this whole time you've been afraid of nerds in trench coats.

In "Really Frickin' Hilarious" news, apparently some schools in New Jersey closed down because someone thought they saw a ninja in the woods behind the school.

Turns out, the "ninja" was a camp counselor on his way to a costume day at another local school. He was dressed all in black and carrying a plastic sword. That's pretty funny in its own right, but the fact that they put the school on lockdown for a half hour has pretty much made my week.

Like, they honestly thought a real live ninja was prowling around the school? Is this a common problem in their neck of the woods? And if it was a real life ninja, did they expect him to summersault through a window and start nunchaking the children? I need to know more. We really need a follow up to this story.

Forgotten Classics

Entertainment Weekly published their 1000th issue this week and filled it with lists of "The New Classics" selecting the 100 Best of the last 25 years, and of course their list of the best films is not going to satisfy every cinephile. I went ahead and comprised a list of the ten films missing from the list that most deserved to be included, but first here are the ten titles that did make the list that I think can be removed to make room for my ten selections:

Ranked at:
28. Wings of Desire (1988) A lovely film, but not a "new classic."
36. Spider-Man 2 (2004) If a comic book sequel belongs here, it's X2: X-Men United.
54. Fatal Attraction (1987) It was just as stupid 20 years ago as it is now.
55. Risky Business (1983) Would this be on the list if it weren't for just one scene?
74. Drugstore Cowboy (1989) Nothing wrong with this movie, but not right for this list.
75. Out of Africa (1985) There are better Best Picture Oscar winners that didn't make the cut.
80. Michael Clayton (2007) Not even if it were the 100 Best Films of the last five years.
89. Breaking the Waves (1996) Lars Von Trier did better with Dancer in the Dark and Dogville.
92. Menace II Society (1993) Instead of Boyz N the Hood?
94. Full Metal Jacket (1987) The boot camp segment is fantastic, but not so much the rest of it.

The Ten Substitutions:
1. The Princess Bride (1987) This didn't make the list? INCONCEIVABLE! I'm not saying it should rank above Pulp Fiction (they at least picked the right title to top the list) but this certainly belongs in the top ten of a list of "new classics."
2. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) The definitive sleeper hit of the 90's, and one of those movies that can suck you in every time when you come across it while channel surfing.
3. Amadeus (1984) The best of the Best Picture Oscar winners not on the list. The three runner-ups would be Dances With Wolves, American Beauty and Platoon.
4. Beauty and the Beast (1991) With the exception of Toy Story, this title belongs on the list more than any of the other animated selections (The Lion King, Shrek, The Incredibles). The same could be said for Finding Nemo, also missing from the list.
5. Traffic (2000) The best film of this decade. Other great films from this decade that are missing include The Pianist, Letters From Iwo Jima and Sin City.
6. Groundhog Day (1993) One of the finest film comedies ever made.
7. Batman (1989) The film that made the comic book movie boom begin again.
8. Defending Your Life (1991) Just as good or better than any romantic comedy on or off the list.
9. Field of Dreams (1989) There's something wrong when the closest thing to a sports movie on the list is Jerry Maguire. I know this movie really isn't about baseball, but it's still closer to a sports movie than Jerry fuckin' Maguire. They could at least have included The Natural, Bull Durham or even A League of Their Own.
10. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) One of the holiday films that I watch practically every year, just like Scrooged, Home Alone and Sleepless in Seattle, which are all missing from the list.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Rant: When is "too late"?

I’m in the midst of looking for a new apartment, a sucky endeavor in its own right, but I had two recent experiences that left me bewildered and confused. (Befused? Confwildered? Let’s go with confwildered).

On Sunday night I called this one guy at 7:45 about the place he advertised on Craigs List, asking if its still available and when I can come see it. He tells me it’s a little late to be calling. I’m all, "I don’t need you to show me the apartment now, I’m just wondering when you can." And he says, "No, I mean, its kind of late for you to be calling me. It’s 7:45."

Umm, OK … I thought this was weird, and most people I asked about it agreed with me, but then last night happened. I called this woman about a place at 8:15, and she says very tersely, “You’ll have to call back during regular business hours.” This is where I got confwildered, and to be honest a little irked.

A) If you’re going to advertise something on Craigs List – the QVC of the unwashed masses – and put your personal phone number rather than just email, you’ve got to expect some calls at odd hours, especially since ….

2) Most people are working during your precious “normal business hours.”

C) At least one of those numbers had to go to a cell phone or landline with caller ID. If you didn’t recognize the number and weren’t in the mood to discuss the apartment you’re renting, maybe you shouldn’t have answered your phone. Numbskull.

And most important of all…

D) 7:45 AND 8:15 AREN’T THAT LATE!!!!

I mean, it’s not right? I’m not like, the rudest thing to come out of Rudetown for calling at those times? Let me help you - no, I’m not. We as a society collectively decided in 1929* that 9 p.m. is late. Maybe 8:30, but come on, in late June its still light out at 8:30.

I’ll stop now and let you get back to whatever it is you do. I just had to get that off my chest. Feel free to scold or validate me in the comment section.

* Roughly

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The List: Vol. 1

In my never ending quest to create post series' I will promptly forget about and abandon, I'm introducing The List...5 things you should watch/read/listen to because I said so.

TV: Rescue Me minisodes - FX presents 10 5-minute minisodes of the Denis Leary firehouse dramedy this summer. The first one airs tonight at 10pm. Should keep us satisfied until the madcappery resumes in full next year.

Film: Resolved - A truly engaging documentary about high school debate, this is one of the best documentaries I've seen in a long time (and it's the perfect follow up to Rocket Science which I know you watched on my recommendation, right?) The movie follows 4 kids (2 white from a privileged back ground and 2 black from urban LA) as they debate their way to glory. It also explains a bit about the history of debate and how it became the super fast, information spewing system it is today. Just fascinating.

Books: The Bitch in the House - For the ladies. A collection of 26 essays on the choices women make (or don't make) and how to make a life you want when the storybook fails. Seriously, every woman should read this. It's not as cheezy/self-helpish as I'm making it seem.

Music: Take a Bow by Rihanna - Between this, Umberella and SOS, I think I have to admit to myself I am a fan. God help me.

Blogs: This Recording - A uber smart blog by a bunch of NYC hipsters, This Recording discusses just about everything from the death of Chris Farley to scary jellyfish with lots of cool downloadable mp3s. (They do claim Celebrity is one of Woody Allen's top 10 films. We can't all be perfect, I guess.)

If you've found anything worth checking out lately, tell us about it.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Trainwreck Watch: Amy Winehouse (Vol. Holy Hell!)

In “So Sad it’s Really not Funny Anymore, Unlike Most Sad Things that are Generally Still Kind of Funny so Long as They’re Not Happening to You” News, Amy Winehouse has emphysema.

Emphysema! The disease old people who’ve been smoking a pack of cigs a day since they were the hottest taxi dancer at the U.S.O. get. Amy Winehouse is 24.

Her father (God, that poor man) says it’s from a combo of smoking cigarettes and crack. Crack! The drug the CIA pumped into America’s black neighborhoods to quell the Black Panther movement. (OK, allegedly). Amy Winehouse is British. And rich. How does that even happen?

OK, from here on out, I am calling for a moratorium on Amy Winehouse news. We’ll abide by it if you do, mainstream media. Unless she comes out with a new album, and it’s really good, no more mentions of this sad, broken child. Let’s just let her slip into obscurity in peace.

Goodnight, sweet crayon-faced addict. And flights of angels sing thee to rehab.

Summa Summa Summa Tiiiiime!

Summer officially arrived over the weekend; time for barbecues, beach parties and easy livin’. (And not falling asleep until 2:30 a.m. because you’re studio apartment traps heat like a female prison). Good times!

Summer isn’t complete without a good song, of course. Every year now it seems the media types are trying to find “The Song of the Summer [fill in year].” I don’t know what the song of the summer is this year (or any year) but here are a few songs I personally love listening to while I’m sipping lemonade and contracting skin cancer.

Girl by Beck: Maybe it’s because he’s from sunny Los Angeles, but Beck’s written a surprising number of good summer songs. This one’s got a bouncy little beat and light melody that make a great ring tone, in addition to poolside accompaniment.

Crazy in Love by Beyonce: Even if you’re not a closet Destiny’s Child fan like me, you cannot f*ck with this song. Bursting with energy, great to drive and dance to, big horns, bigger beat, exactly what you want for the soundtrack to the “fun season.”

Badfish by Sublime: In high school, Sublime was great because everyone liked them – the rocker kids, the rap kids … I guess that’s about all we had in my high school. Diversity wasn't really our thing. As I’ve grown older, I’ve grown to dislike most of their music (in large part because I moved SoCal where they’re still floggin’ this horse long after it died) but I heard Badfish at a party recently, and the big acoustic guitar, bouncy ska rhythm and lyrics about getting literally and figuratively stuck still hold up. Very good for drinking to.

Ain’t nothin’ but G Thang by Dr. Dre and Snoop: I’m the first one to admit I know very little about the rap, and I actually didn’t like this song when it came out. But now when it comes on at a party, everything feels a’ight. It’s also great for driving. Especially if you have hydraulics, which I’m looking into for my Corolla.

Take me Out by Franz Ferdinand: They play this song a lot at Red Sox games, which might be why I associate it with summer. But it’s also great to drive and dance to. It might be a little oddball for this list, but then again, so am I.

OK, your turn!

Add This to Your Queue: Be Kind Rewind

Recently, I caught Michel Gondry's latest starring Mos Def and Jack Black. Be Kind Rewind finds Mos Def, as Mike, working in a small, dying video store owned by Elroy (Danny Glover). When Elroy leaves town for the weekend on a quest to find ways to improve the video store business and keep his store open, Mike is left in charge. Enter the wacky Jack Black as Jerry, who becomes magnetized (as one only can in a Michel Gondry film) and accidentally demagnetizes/erases all the videos in the store. Mike and Jerry decide, in an effort to cover their asses until Elroy returns, to film their own versions of the videos and rent them to the customers. The film is it's best when Jerry and Mike are "Sweeding" (their term for their remakes) new classics like Ghostbusters and Rush Hour 2, but the film is really about community and friendship and all that warm, fuzzy stuff. While not anywhere near as good as Being John Malcovich or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or even The Science of Sleep, Be Kind Rewind is worth checking out for the Ghostbusters homage alone.

Friday, June 20, 2008

The Kids are Not Alright

If you haven't heard, 17 girls made a "pregnancy pact" at a high school in Gloucester, Mass and all got themselves knocked up at the same time. Some are blaming films like Juno and Knocked Up for their skewed view of pregnancy, but, let's face it, these girls are just morons (I remember a girl in my sixth grade class who told us she was trying to get pregnant. Some girls are crazy). Apparently, the big draw for these New England ladies is having a baby shower and receiving lots of gifts. It's American materialism at it's finest.

In other news, fruit has replaced cookies as the number one snack for kids. Steven Colbert is not amused:

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Mi Vida Loca (for Once)

I try not to be all "You'll never believe what happened last night" because for the most part my life is incredibly boring (and I know you couldn't care less), but you'll never believe what happened last night! I was driving the seven blocks from my apartment to the bar to meet Liz and our friend Annie (it's one of those distances where I feel silly driving because it's only 7 blocks, but it's a bit too far (and sketchy) to walk at night, so I drove. It's not like I'm paying $4.79 for gas or anything). On my very short drive, I end up behind a lovely old 70's Cadillac type vehicle with a normal sized TV set mounted some how in the car (from my angle, I couldn't tell if it was mounted on the front dashboard or between the seats, but the point is, it was an actual TV and not, like, those in headrest monitor thingys...which is the technical name for them). On said television, the man is showing hardcore pornography. Liz said, "Are you sure he wasn't just watching Rome or something?" and I said, "Not unless someone reedited Rome to include close up penetration shots." Seriously, who does this? I think he even kinda slowed down to make sure someone followed close enough behind to see what he was showing. Hands down the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

You totally want to visit my neighborhood now, don't you?

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Which Fictional Character Would You Date?

It's time again for a retarded, hypothetical question from your dear friend, Red. The question is pretty self explanatory. Here are my answers (because you know I can't have just one):

Jim: The Office - I think you all know why at this point. He's just so, well, fun. Of course, I'd have to arrange an Eternal Sunshine on his brain to erase all memories of that Pam person.

Lloyd Dobler: Say Anything - I've mentioned before, Lloyd Dobler ruined women of my generation (though, I admit, I would find the playing-the-Peter-Gabriel-outside-my-window-bit a tad creepy).

Ferris Buller: Ferris Buller's Day Off - How great would it be to date Ferris? He'd get you out of class and you'd spend all day hanging out in Chicago. Best. Day. Ever.

Imagine me where Mia Sara is standing.

Crash Davis: Bull Durham - I have a thing for baseball players, what can I say? Plus, you know that guy is good in the sack.

Max Fischer: Rushmore - I'm a sucker for the goofy, awkward guy and it doesn't get much more goofy and awkward than Max Fischer.

Nick Andopolis: Freaks and Geeks - He's a bit crazy, but he's so passionate about Lindsay...and his ridiculously large drum is that not just a little endearing?

Mr. Darcy: Pride & Prejudice - Sure, he can be a pretentious ass, but in a all-your-hard-work-to-win-him-will-be-worth-it kinda way.

So, basically, to sum-up, I like nerds, stalkers and assholes. I don't see a problem with this at all. You?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

This (mostly) Just In...

It's that time again, kids. What does Red think about the latest, breaking "news"? Observe:

Tiger Woods, Amazing - He is just remarkable (and adorable). This commercial, which played many times during the US Open this weekend, got me a little teary...mainly because it's a very touching Father/Son thing, but also because I realized Tiger is married to a gorgeous Swedish model and my dreams of becoming Mrs. Tiger Woods will never be realized. *sigh*

The Smurfs, Now the Color of Viagra - A live action/animated version of everyone's favorite Belgian cartoon is on the way to the big screen. As someone who was Smurfette on more than one All Hallows Eve, I am very excited about this. Of course, odds are pretty good it will turn into another Alvin and the Chipmunks...then I may just cry.

Italian Man Kidnaps Woman, Needs the Ironing Done - I laughed so hard at this story. If my ex-boyfriend still lived in town, I can totally see him pulling this. He really hated doing the dishes.

M. Night Shyamalan, Oh So Humble - He calls The Happening "the best B movie you will ever see." God, he's a douchebag.

Kate Nash, Hot Young Ginger - Her album is kinda, well, immature, but this song is awesome:

Oh, to be young and bitter again...

Monday, June 16, 2008

At the Movies: The Happening

After being sucked in the the riveting US Open (yes, I did just write that. Who knew golf was exciting?!?), I took a break from Tiger and met Liz to see M. Night Shyamalan's new film, The Happening. The reviews have not been kinda (and Garney sent me a text after seeing it Friday night that said something like "Should be called Nothing's Happening") but I'd seen this piece in which M. Night calls the film a fun B-Movie...and that's exactly what it was. "Marky" Mark Wahlberg gives a total B-Movie performance (Liz and I couldn't decided if his bad acting was purposeful or not. I like to think it was purposeful...that makes it pretty funny) and the final premise is a bit silly, but I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't both grossed out by some gore and jumping in my skin. I'm not advising you run out and see The Happening (because I know you jokers do anything I say), but save it to your Netflix queue for sometime around Halloween when you feel like a silly B-Movie about people killing themselves.

And there's nothing wrong with staring at these two for 90 minutes.

Friday, June 13, 2008

R.I.P. Tim Russert.

When I’m not blogging, I work in the media business. It's a mighty maligned business, often (OK, usually) rightfully so. But one guy you could always look to if you wanted some faith in the press was Tim Russert.

Tim Russert grilled everyone who came on Meet the Press equally, no matter what party they were from. But more importantly, he grilled them with fact-based questions and did it without being a total d*ckhead, something most journalist/TV show hosts can’t seem to figure out.

I'm a big news junkie, so this probably hit me harder than most people. When I heard the news, it felt like someone punched me in the gut. But I really think he's going to be missed, especially this election year. Hopefully some of his colleagues and competitors can take something from his example in their coverage.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Gingers Search Results: Some Advice

Recently, someone stumbled upon the blog after searching for "advice on why one should BREAK UP WITH their BOYFRIEND" (no idea what the wacky capitalization is all about). I'm sure they were disappointed with the results found herein, so I decided to help them out, should they ever visit again. Here are the top 5 reasons one should breakup with their boyfriend:

1. He is boring - I don't care how cute he is, if he is uninteresting, you can do better...unless you are uninteresting. Then you're screwed.

2. He has bad taste - If, for example, his favorite song so far this year is Low, he needs to go! (see what I did there? I astound myself with my own cleverness...and by "cleverness" I mean "ability to rhyme sometimes")

3. He creeps you out - I suppose the question would be, "Why did you date him in the first place?" I dunno, okay. Get off my back. Jesus!

4. He doesn't like sports - This is basically sign #1 that he is gay (sorry Dan)...and, take it from a recovering theater geek, life is too short to crush on gay men.

5. He's thinks Jessica Simpson is smokin' hot - That's pretty much unforgivable.

Hopefully, this helps our curious little visitor. Perhaps you will add some helpful tips of your own, dear reader. And tune in next time when I help the curious fella who searched for "yo old man, you gonna pass that doobie or what?" I don't want to give anything away, but the answer is No. No, he will not pass the doobie.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Today in Fictional Gingers

As the former owner of both a Strawberry Shortcake bedspread and sneakers, I don't know how to feel about this:

Goin' for Two

Tonight is the big Top Chef: Chicago finale (how Lisa made it this far, heaven only knows (or perhaps Satan only knows because she made a deal with the devil. She certainly seems evil)). I am rooting for Stephanie. If she wins, I will have picked the current winners of Project Runway and Top Chef before watching a single episode of either show. This will make me very happy...and as we all know, a happy redhead is much better than the alternative.

P.S. TC producers, if Tony Bourdain could make an appearance tonight, I'd be exceedingly grateful. Thanks so much. Love ya, mean it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Steve Jobs is my DJ, apparently

I ain't got no beef with Coldplay. They're not hurting anybody. Shoot, "The Scientist" is probably somewhere in my Top 50 fav songs. And no one's saying Chris Martin's not an attractive bit of man candy, he totally is. No one's hating here. We're all friends.

But the new album? It's ... eh. Not so good, in my most humble opinion. They're doing this sort of weird, synthy, '80s and-yet-also Big Arena Rock thing that doesn't really work out. I don't think.

It's weird though, because I actually like that song they're playing on the iTunes commercial right now. I find it catchy. I was sort of torn on it at first, but it totally grew on me. Then I listened to that same song on the album, and I didn't think it was as good. That got me thinking - this wasn't the first time I'd heard a song in an iTunes commercial and really liked it, only to find out the real, full-length version wasn't all that great. The Fratellis, CSS, others I can't remember, this is becoming a reacurring theme.

Has Apple hired Timabaland or something to make these remixes? Is there some way I can get the Apple Remix version of these songs, rather than the ones by the actual artists? I'd like to know more. Please, someone from Apple, let us know in the comments section.
(Also, please offer me a high paying job at your company that involves lots of vacation time, travel to cool places, and plenty of free Apple gadgets. I will accept).

Monday, June 9, 2008

Brokeback!: The Opera

In an attempt to out-gay Broadway, the New York City Opera is developing a stage production of Brokeback Mountain. Here are some song titles in the works:

"Fishing" on Their Minds
I Don't Know How to Quit You
Jack Twist (More like Jack Nasty)
Anne Hathaway Topless

I'm sure you'll agree, this sounds totally, awesomely bad (and my song titles are terrible. I should have made Garney write this post).

Friday, June 6, 2008

Top 5: Things That Make me Jealous

It's time once again for Red to astound you with her craziness. Here are 5 things that make me totally jealous:

1. JDate - Being of the gentile persuasion, I'm totally bummed I can't join JDate (the Jewish only dating site) to meet a nice Jewish boy. Now, I've never joined an online dating site (because I can harass men on the internet for free), but I really want to join JDate. Damn you Miles Silverberg for making the Jews so darn irresistible!

2. Falwless - She's funny and has more profile views, comments and blog admirers than I do...and she's been blogging for about half the time. If I didn't love her so much, I'd wish horrible things on having to marry Adam Levine.

3. Boston - As a Padres fan, I'm very jealous of their kick ass sports teams. I'm also jealous of a little thing they have called history. It would be nice to see the occasional building built before 1972. Plus, they have a funny accent. Who doesn't like funny accents? No one, that's who.

4. Ladies Who Lunch - Sometimes on my lunch break, I venture to fancy Del Mar where fabulous looking people eat lunch and shop all day. I don't want to brag or anything, but I am the best luncher in the known universe. I should totally be one of these ladies.

5. Whoever gets to shag James Franco - That's one lucky bitch.

Your turn. Thank God it's the weekend.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Has anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?

Growing up the daughter of Irish Catholic baby boomers in Massachusetts, there were two guarantees: Boiled food, and a reverence for the Kennedys.

In light of that - combined with my well-established history nerdom – it should come as no surprise that by the time I was 16, I had a favorite Kennedy: Bobby.

All the Kennedys were flawed, of course – they were unfaithful husbands, possibly mobbed up, and involved in some very dubious car accidents – but you can’t deny they had style. And to me, RFK had the most. He had more empathy, bigger dreams and a less freakishly large head than JFK, and since he only spent two years as an elected official, there are fewer politically expedient votes to nitpick him for.

The reason I bring this up (like we ever need a reason to bring things up on this blog?) is because today marks the 40th anniversary of Robert Kennedy’s death. (He was shot 40 years ago yesterday, and died the next day).

A lot of papers and news organizations are doing tributes and what not, and a few of them are worth reading, if you’re interested. Some of them go overboard, basically making it sound as if everything from 9/11 to Glitter would never have happened if RFK had become president, but still, if you're not moved by these quotes, you probably don’t have soul. (In which case, wanna come over and watch MMA with me on Saturday night? It's my new thing).

You, hating the Kennedys.

Like You Need Another Reason to Drink

A new study shows drinking a glass of wine a night can cut the risk of arthritis. The way these studies are going, I will live forever.
George and I in the rest home circa 3528.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

What's the Deal With Lily Allen?

Lily. Pumpkin. Let's pull it together, m'kay?

Not to be all Go Fug Yourself, but her dress has bleeding deer on it. And apparently, later that night, she had to be carried out of a party by 2 bouncers and her brother because she was so incredibly drunk. I feel a Trainwreck Watch coming on...

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

This (mostly) Just In: Men & Relationships Edition

This edition is not even "mostly just in" because most of this crap happened last week while I was on vacation. However, Must. Make. Snarky. Comments. Enjoy:

David Cook asked out Kimberly Caldwell - So that's his type, eh? I wish them nothing but the best...and by "best" I mean try not to lose your shirt in the divorce, asshole.

Clay Aiken Impregnated Someone - Not, like, really. The women was artificially inseminated. If this isn't the surest sign ever that he is gay, I don't know what is. He needs to Lance Bass it already.

George Clooney is Single Again - I actually cheered when I heard this news...mainly because George is too fabulous to be with a hot chick who's biggest claim to fame is appearing on Fear Factor.

Bill Murray is Single Again, Too - I really hope he's not the sex/drug/hitting ladies addict his wife claims. I hope he's more the supremely unhappy guy from Lost in Translation...because that's so much better.

All these men and their new or failing relationships lead me to believe something weird is happening with men right now. I swear, every guy I've ever known is mulling around lately suggesting I bear their children or meet them for the weekend in Vegas. When it rains it pours, I tell ya. Geez!

Bill, I'll meet you in Japan.

Monday, June 2, 2008

At the Movies: Sex and the City

After a few Cosmopolitans, Liz and I (along with some of our closest friends) journeyed to see Sex and the City: The Movie last night. While I generally liked the movie, I did have some issues with the choices made. So here now, in the laziest way possible, I present my favorite and least favorite things about SATC: The Movie (I should warn you, there are some spoiler-ish details ahead. If you haven't seen the movie and are planning to, 1) what kind of fan are you to not see it on opening weekend? and 2) You may want to skip this post):

Aiden Shaw (The Good)

  • The Cast: It was great just to see the girls and Stanford and Harry and Smith and Anthony all together again (even if they did look freaking old...except for Kristen Davis. Someone get me the virgin blood she drinks to remain so gorgeous! Seriously, not fair).
  • The Clothes: Patricia Fields pulled out all the stops to make the ladies look phenomenal. The film was basically 2+ hours of fashion pornography. Highlights include the Vivian Westwood wedding dress, the blue Manolos, the Zac Posen bridesmaid dresses and J. Hud's Louis Vuitton. Fabulous.
  • The Jokes: SATC always makes me laugh and seeing the film in a packed theater of fans was a lot of fun...and really pretty hilarious.

Aleksandr Petrovsky (The Bad)
  • The Assistant: As much as I like Jennifer Hudson, her story line was so unnecessary and convenient. If the creators were so determined to inject some color, they should have just brought back Blair Underwood. Mmmmm...Blair Underwood.
  • Mr. Big: Other than his wedding day freak out, everything about Mr. Big seemed out of character. The man we've grown to love to hate over the years would never have agreed to write his own vows. Or needed "just a look" to motivate him to get him out of the car. Chris Noth looked gorgeous, but someone forgot who Mr. Big really was. It felt really false to me...the whole character.
  • LA: I understand why Samantha and Smith were in LA, but their story line (down to the lame, Samantha-like dog) grew very tired, very fast.
  • The Plot: The whole thing was a bit, well, lacking. Not much happened and the little action there was wrapped up so neatly at the end. Kinda made me feel silly for caring. Oh, wait. I feel that way anyway.
There you have it. What did you think?

P.S. Fellas (if you've read this far...which I seriously doubt), I promise this is the last SATC post you'll ever read...unless there is a sequel, natch.

She's Baaack!

Hello, friends. I'm back from my much needed vacation to Chicago and San Fransisco. I missed you all very much and, in my mind, you have been counting the days until my return. Well, wait no longer! Your day has arrived.

Also back (and hopefully better than ever), The Mole returns tonight to fill the TV shaped hole in your summer. Normally, I wouldn't pimp The Mole (though I did like the one season I watched...mainly because Anderson Cooper was the host and he is a lovely, lovely man), but the fella responsible for introducing Liz and me is a contestant this season. Local San Diego psuedo-celebrity Craig Slike will fill your TV with many laughs and maybe even some heartwarming moments (I really have no idea. I'm just spit balling here). So please watch and root on our friend Craig. Like you have better things to do...

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Add This to Your Queue: The Lives of Others

If you’re not against reading a movie, put on your spectacles and check out The Lives of Others.

It’s a German movie that takes place in East Berlin when they were still doing the communist thing, and basically follows the story of a playwright, his actress girlfriend, and the lonely secret policeman who’s in charge of spying on them.

It’s really a pretty simple story, but it manages to dig deep into why people’s messy lives are exactly why totalitarian regimes usually lose their iron grip. Sometimes the most seemingly loyal officials are the very ones screwing things up, and the people who question the logic of those in charge are actually the most valuable citizens a system can have.

The Lives of Others won Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars last year, so don’t take my word for it, take the Academy’s. You know, the same Academy that said Crash was the Best Picture a few years ago...OK, yeah, just take my word for it. Again, if you can handle subtitles, definitely check this out.