Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I know, I know, there are sober kids in India. But still ...

I am not an alcoholic. Honestly.

I don’t drink on the job, I can go days without drinking, I don’t hide drinks around the house, and I am capable of having one or two beers and then stopping. (I just usually choose not to).

But lately, I’m thinking of cutting back. The older I get, I find that I’m more susceptible to dehydration and hangovers. I think beer and wine are the reason I spend so damn much on groceries and going out every month. And I have a sneaking suspicion that beer – coupled with my crippling laziness – is the reason I’ve gone up several jean sizes in the last 5 or 6 years.

So I think its time to slow down. But here’s the problem: While I’m not an alcoholic, I do have an embarrassingly low will power. I see other people drinking and having fun, and I instantly want to join in. I can’t even watch The Sopranos without wanting a glass of wine, nevermind go out with my friends and stick to water. The two times I have successfully made it through a night at a bar without drinking, my trivia team won and I couldn’t turn down the free beer we got in the end.

Here, dear readers, is why I’m telling you this: I need some advice. If you’ve ever quit, or substantially cut back, on something that was really difficult and part of your lifestyle (smoking, watching TV, using a telescope to spy on your poorly curtained, frequently naked neighbors) how did you go about that? Is cold turkey best, or should one ween themselves off of their vice? Did your life improve, or do you regret your decision because we’re all going to die anyway and no one says on their deathbed that they wish they spent less time spying on their neighbors?

I need help people. They say it’s the first step.


red said...

You need to watch Resume Me. Tommy Gavin says life's too short to be sober.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Awwww, but beer is SO GOOD, Liz.

My young man just quit smoking and is doing AWESOMELY but I doubt a nicotine inhaler is going to help you much.:( Will power is the sucks. I want to give up cake but my, what a grey world that would be.

words...words...words... said...

I've thought about drinking much less, but I always change my mind. I'm not anything close to an alcoholic, and it's really really fun.

I quit caffeine once for about two months just to see what would happen...and nothing happened. I didn't sleep better, I didn't become less irritable...I couldn't tell the difference. So I started right back up again.

I gave up TV for a week as an experiment and within 48 hours I was indistinguishable from an axe murderer. I still finished though, with a minimum of carnage.

Brand New said... real easy way to say this... You're getting old. I'm feeling it too. The hangovers are making the drinking much less fun. Sure, it's fun in the moment. The next day sucks so bad you want to jomp off the bridge. A "few" years ago I could party all night on Tuesday and say "fuck off Wednesday". Now, I (read: we) can't. Time to start staying home and thinking about the time you were young and cool.

Brand New said...

*jomp = jump... guess who's been drinking tonight. I only preach never practice.

Liz said...

In response to Brand New: AmNotAmNotAmNotAmNotAmNot lalalalaa I can't hear you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

They don't list calorie content on alcohol for a reason. Find out how much is in your favorite drink. Eight wheat beers x 200 calories a piece = 1600 calories. Do that every week and it could make you gain 25 lbs. a year. Do it every other day and that could up it to 80 lbs. That's motivation enough for me!