Friday, November 14, 2008

It's The Final Countdown


Are you ready, people? I turn 30 in two weeks. Two! Weeks! (November 30th. Mark your calendar). I've already sent out the Evite for my party and bought a new dress. I've booked a room at a super cool new hotel in downtown San Diego and I've lined up two potential boys to give me a birthday kiss. All that's left is for you to get working on your gift to me. I'm not asking for much. A token, really, a trifle! I'd like you all to pool your cash and buy me a new Mercedes. I know you're probably thinking, "Um, yeah. That will happen when Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie become BFFs" but really, I don't think I'm asking a lot here. Think of all the joy I bring you every most some days of the week! I don't think a $500,000 car is asking too much. Some people have already offered to send me birthday cards...with stickers! I can't wait, but really. The Mercedes. Get on that immediately.

Or maybe, if we all ask very nicely, McGone will draw me a picture? Pretty please, McGone?

So, there are your choices: Mercedes or picture from McGone. I'll let you all sort it out.

17 comments:

Liz said...

Oh Gob Bluth, my world would be so empty without you.

I'm not buying you a car.

Trailboss said...

I will be 51 on Nov 20th. You send me a nice present and I will send you one! Deal?

Falwless said...

I'm not buying you a car either, but I will TOTALLY send you a rad birthday card if you send me your address!!

danielle970 said...

I unfortunately can't come to SD for your birthday...this year ;-) But if you wanna send me your address, I'll send you a card!! Like a real one with a Hallmark logo on the back and a postmark on the envelope.

Also, I'm not buying you a car.

Red said...

Damn it! This "I'm not buying you a car" thing sucks!

McGone said...

OK, I'm not buying you a car, but let's see what can be done about this drawing thing. Coincidentally, my usual fee is close to the car's price, but for you I'll waive it just this once.

Oh, and I cheated and googled what I thought might be the movie reference, but I ain't sayin'.

Dr Zibbs said...

Get Falwless to draw a picture for you. Remeber that super crappy one she drew for me? Oh man was that crappy.

Poobomber said...

I've already mailed you a puppy.

(Just regular post, but hopefully it should be there before your b-day. He should be fresh too, I made sure the box was airtight so he couldn't get out.)

MelO said...

awwwww suuuuure... now everyone is stealing my BADASS CARD IDEA! No, no, no people! I already told you... you guys have to get her the car!

*I TOLD YOU I GOT THE CARD!*

sheesh!

MelO said...

It took me a while to get the obscure movie reference... very nicely done, RED!!

The poor unfortunate souls who won't ever get it are missing out!

Falwless said...

Hey shut your mouth hole, Zibbs, or I will never ever show you my fine art work ever again.

words words words said...

I foresee an avalanche of Matchbox cars under your birthday tree.

I also find your allusion to a random movie reference rather fishy.

pistols at dawn said...

Is the token movie reference to "License to Drive?" Because the end of that cinematic masterpiece, where he says, "I don't need a car, I've already got a Mercedes" - because his girlfriend (ably played by Heather Graham) is named "Mercedes," you see - and that, along with the cut to black and instant cue of "Get out of my dreams! Get into my car!" is the greatest ending to a movie ever.

I wish "The Pianist" and "Million Dollar Baby" had ended the same way.

BeckEye said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"...ably played by Heather Graham..."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh God. That's priceless.

Okay, Red. For your birthday I promise to not get you any Heather Graham movies. Because she's a big steaming pile of awful.

Liz said...

I'm glad I'm not the only nerd who got the movie reference. I got it instantly, without even seeing the tag about a hidden movie reference.

Me = Hopeless Loser

Catherinette Singleton said...

I'm getting you a pony. I'll just pop it in the mail for you.

But only if you get me something for my 35th birthday on the 23rd.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Dammit, I didn't get the movie reference, and I've seen it, too. Shit. I'm such a loser. You don't want me to get you a car, I'll probably get it in the wrong colour and everything.