Thursday, December 4, 2008

Questions Pondered While Watching the Last 20 Minutes of Christmas in Rockefeller Plaza

- When did Harry Connick Jr. get so skinny? Not that he was ever very big, but he was much hotter with good ol' NOLA meat on his bones.

- Is Hanson totally pissed that the Jonas Brothers stole their gig? And speaking of the Jonas Brothers, they sang some song about giving up all other gifts to get a hot chick for x-mas. It included the lyric, "You can take this awesome scarf my grandma made for me," which is now, officially, the greatest lyric in the history of time.

- Why in God's name did I ever think soy egg nog sounded like a good idea? All the Jameson in the universe can't save this crap. Guess I'll just have to drink the Jameson on it's own. Oh, the humanity!

- Do you think it's too late for me to grow up to become Beyonce?

- Why is Britney Spears so crap at speaking on camera when she's been doing it since she was, like, 5?

- How much better would this show be if produced by Jack Donaghy? There would definitely be way more fireworks and, as we all know, everything is better with more fireworks.

- Are we the only country in the world crazy enough to produce a hour long music extravaganza just to light a damn tree?

I think I'm too cynical for Christmas this year. Add that to the list of reasons I should become a Jew.


the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Just in case you wanted to know, the original name of Rockafeller Center was Radio City.

Liz said...

I'm not so much too cynical for Christmas this year, as too poor. But its the same way most years.

The Guv'ner said...

I used to work at 75 Rock for seven years and every year we'd have our office party on tree lighting night overlooking the tree. Man, it's a nightmare getting out after! But you sure see some hilarity too. Of course I'm normally drunk by then.

Mathdude said...

The Jonas Brothers should do a remake of Mmm-Bop just to rub it in their faces. I would.

d said...

I am too cynical for christmas EVERY year. I was the four year old that screamed at my mother for forcing me to decorate a tree at all.

I am also harboring serious Jew envy. It gets worse every year.

MichelleSG said...

Oh honey, this year my daughter asked if we could celebrate Channukah. If we could afford 7 days of presents I'd sooo convert. I hate Christmas, it's retarded and brings out the WORST in drivers.

Falwless said...

You crack me up.

pistols at dawn said...

I didn't even realize they had a tree in Rockefeller Plaza, or that there was a special around it (not surprising, since one often doesn't surmise the existence of television specials promoting events one doesn't know existed).

I've been too cynical for Christmas for many a year now, since my parents started giving me money for Christmas since buying gifts would just waste time and end in them getting me something I didn't really want anyway. It was a very free market system.

Anonymous said...

Instead of being cynical about Christmas this year I have decided to be enigmatic . . . I’m going to give people gifts that make them feel awkward and baffled.

All my female friends will get gift certificates for free mammograms.

All my male friends will get home made gift certificates for free rides on the "Annie Train".

Guaranteed that next year I have less people to give gifts to. :)

danielle970 said...

I'd just like to say that I've lived in NYC my entire life and have seen The Tree twice: once when I was 5 and once when I had a guest from another country come visit. I'd also like to say that one of the best Christmases I ever spent was when I was in San Diego last year: no family, no gifts, no tree. Just some good friends and good food. And a lot of Jose Cuervo.

words words words said...

That IS an awesome lyric.

Fireworks DO make everything better.

I tried the soy nog, too. I love when vegans tell you "Product X is just as good as the real thing!" in that tone of voice where you can tell they're trying to convince themselves as much as you.

Yes, we are the only country crazy enough to devote a 1-hour special to lighting a tree. That's why we are awesome.

And finally, I got enough Christmas in me for all y'all, so feel free to take the year off :)

katrocket said...

I produced an hour-long music extravaganza just to light my own damn tree at home. Topless. With dwarves. Buy it on DVD.

Also - Harry Connick, Jr. is smokin' hot.