Monday, December 1, 2008

This (mostly) Just In: Totally Personal Edition

I had a birthday and everyone noticed - So, I'm 30 now and recovered from my birthday hangover. Thanks to everyone who sent happy birthday wishes via email or text or Facebook. Special thanks to Pistols and MelO for designating a special place for me on their blogs. I started to feel guilty about being so obnoxious about my birthday, but I said, "Self, you only turn 30 once. Be as obnoxious as humanly possible!" I think we can all agree, mission accomplished. I now promise to never discuss my aging again. You are welcome.

I went to a strip club and it was kinda weird, but mostly not that weird - When my grandma asked what time we got home on Saturday night/Sunday morning, I told her, "3:30ish." "Don't bars close at 2?" she asked. "Yeah. We went to an after hours place." That place was Deja Vu. My takeaways from my first strip club experience:

1. The odds of being hit on or even noticed at a strip club are lower than at a gay bar.
2. The ladies room apparently also doubles as the stripper's dressing room/coke den.
3. Watching women dance naked while your 2 male friends honestly and evenly evaluate their looks, taste in music and effability tells you more about those friends than you could ever hope to know.
3. Ginger strippers love me...that's all I'll say about that.
4. The best hot dogs ever are consumed after 2am.

The only birthday picture I can post without incriminating myself or others

I failed as a sports blogger - A year and a half ago, Liz, Dave and I started a little sports blog called Pink Hat Nation. We tried to keep it going, really we did, but no one has posted anything since the Phillies won the World Series. This weekend we all agreed to put it out of its misery. Thanks to the 2 of you who read it regularly. It will always have a special place in our hearts.


Garney said...

You went to a strip club that serves hot dogs?

Dr Zibbs said...

I have a friend that wants to bring the wives to a strip club. You hopefully get them all worked up.

MichelleSG said...

Wow, I didn't know strip bars served food. All the ones I've been to were strictly drink places. Yeah I said 'all the ones' (plural). My girlfriend was a stripper and when I went to watch her and tip she would get mega tips. Apparently men like it when a woman in slacks and a wool turtle neck goes up and gets loved on by a naked red head. Whoda thunk? She'd earn like $500 a night when I went in, it rocked. Oh and I never tipped with my own money, I always took it off another guy there. Betcha didn't know you could do that huh?

red said...

Technically, we got the hot dogs right outside the strip club, ala TJ. And I didn't give any money to any strippers. I know most of those girls are making way more than I am.

McGone said...

Look at you - you've just turned 30 and already you are making peace with your failures! You'll handle this downward spiral just fine!

R.I.P. Pink Hat Nation.

pistols at dawn said...

I used to live behind a strip club called Lipstick, because I'm classy.

When I was dating a drunk (not the funny kind, the actual kind), and gave her directions to my place, she said, "Oh, right by Lipstick. They have great chicken fingers."

I wondered, "How did she know that?" then decided I didn't care, because I knew how the night was going to end, and it was well.

God bless you, Lipstick.

danielle970 said...

Hahaha "I used to live behind a strip club, because I'm classy." Awesome.

I, too, have been to a strip club. I even got a lap dance from a hot Asian chick and the whole time I was thinking, "This is doing absolutely nothing for me." Any questions I had about the lesbian world were answered right then and there. (I did put a $10 in her g-string, though. Because I'm classy.)

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I have never been to a strip club. But I have been to a hostess bar, which was pretty creepy.

katrocket said...

Happy Birthday Red! I'm a day late, but it's cool, because I'm pretty sure you're not the father.

words words words said...

I am shocked that women in strip clubs don't get hit on. I would think guys would like the kind of girl that will go to a strip club. It can only be the fear of being asked, "So how did you guys meet?"

Also, I knew that the Phillies winning the World Series would be an apocalyptic event that would cause a rip in the space-time continuum, but I'm sad that PHN was part of the collateral damage. R.I.P. indeed.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I'm sorry I didn't take the time to wish you a happy birthday, but then, I'm a guy, so boorish behavior like that can be excused, right? Right?

Happy belated birthday anyway, Red.

Ginger strippers love me, too, because I tip them way better than the others. *shrugs*