Monday, February 22, 2010

Wherein Red Needs Some Advice About Dating

So, I signed up for one of those online dating sites. I was bored one day at work (shocker!) and tired of family members asking, "So, Bridge, how's ya luv life?"so I gave it a shot. I've not had a lot of success (I'm not really sure why. Probably because, as most of you know first hand, I am hideous (kidding! It's probably because I make a joke about cheese on my profile that makes me seem weird) Whatever! That's not important right now!).

ANYWAY, I have been on 2 dates with a very nice guy. He's the right age, attractive enough, but I'm just not feeling it (I could all tell you the reasons why, but Liz says that would be mean. Let's just say robots and an atrociously filthy apartment are major factors (I've also realized, as much as I joke about being "alone" forever, I really like being single and don't really want to make time for men I'm only marginally interested in to appease friends and family)). So here's my question...how do I end this? Most people I've polled on the subject say I "owe" him a phone call, but why? We've only been out twice. It's not like we've formed some special bond. Why can't I just email and say, "Sorry. This isn't working for me"? Sure it's the easy (cowardly?) way out, but I think, if I were in his position, I wouldn't really care if I received the news via email. In fact, I think it would be easier on both parties.

So, help me out here. Do I owe Robot Boy an actual phone call to reject him? Or can I just email him the bad news and then delete my online profile knowing now I'm not really up for online dating right now or probably ever? Help me make decisions in my life!!!

13 comments:

Liz said...

I suppose after two dates, email wouldn't be that bad. Just don't text him. The text breakup is sooooo tacky, no matter how long you've been together.

Oh, and I know the movie reference, but I'll let others who don't write for this blog guess first.

red said...

I agree. Texting is tacky.

MJenks said...

Phone call would probably be courteous. How often do you guys email? If it's often enough, then I would think that'd be okay. Just sending him one out of the blue might be a bit...harsh.

Who the hell doesn't clean their apartment if there's a chance a date might be by?

red said...

We email about as often as we talk on the phone so an email wouldn't be that harsh.

We're not talking, like, a bit messy, normal bachelor pad stuff. He admitted he'd PACKED and MOVED dirty dishes AND THEY WERE STILL SITTING IN HIS SINK A YEAR LATER!!!

McGone said...

I've been in a steady relationship for a few years now, so all I know about dating these days comes from wacky Dane Cook comedies. I'm not sure exactly how it works, but I believe you are supposed to hire him to date this guy and make him reconsider his involvement with you, or he sets the guy up with Jessica Alba or something. It also helps if you can be best friends with Lizzy Caplan or Zooey Deschanel or Judy Greer, and Jason Biggs should have a B-story in all of this. Also, you should have a montage sequence to Katrina and the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine."

It's pretty awful, actually. You may just want to give this guy a chance and avoid the whole Dane Cook situation.

Malcolm said...

Given that it's only been 2 dates, rejection via email is socially acceptable. Packing and moving dirty dishes that are still unwashed after a year?! Even Oscar Madison would find that disgusting.

Liz said...

You didn't tell me that dish thing. DEAL. BREAKER!!!

danielle970 said...

Yeah I wasn't aware of the dirty dishes thing either... when you said his apt was filthy, I just thought you meant it was bachelor-pad dirty, not I-should-be-on-"Hoarders" dirty. I agree with Liz, shut it down! And doing it via email is ok if you guys have emailed back and forth a bunch.

The movie reference is Bridget Jones' Diary, right?

BeckEye said...

"I've also realized, as much as I joke about being "alone" forever, I really like being single and don't really want to make time for men I'm only marginally interested in to appease friends and family."

Guuuuurl, you just hit the nail on the head. That's exactly how I feel.

As for advice, I don't really have anything good. Maybe get together for lunch and tell him you like him but there's just no spark. Hopefully, he won't act like an asshole in public.

MJenks said...

Packed dirty dishes? And they're still dirty a year later?

*shudder*

I'd agree with Beckeye's advice, but I have to hurry off and take a shower now.

Brand New said...

I've done the date with a dirty apartment thing. Once when she wasn't planning on company (so she said but in her defense I did just meet her) and once after a scheduled, I'll be there at 8 pick up. I couldn't tolerate the mess .. i.e. I couldn't sleep there. Honestly, clean the bathroom at least.

I really think your best option here is a classic "no call, no talk" play. Just avoid a few of his emails and phone calls. If he gets all girl crazy on you, just say you've been busy. You owe a big nothing after two dates.

Avoid it long enough and it will go away. FYI: The same logic applies at work.

red said...

Thanks guys for all the advice! I ended up emailing him. He didn't respond. It's all for the best.

Mathdude said...

It was the right call Red! Better to rip the band-aid off quickly. Why do you/we owe someone you/we don't want to be around extra attention?