The NFL announced yesterday that New Orleans will get to host the 2013 Super Bowl, the city’s tenth. Here are some by-the-numbers predictions of what’s going down in the Big Easy that week:
7 The number of rehashed, un-insightful montages on how far the Lower Ninth Ward has/hasn’t come since Hurricane Katrina
2 The number of these montages that will be set to Sarah McLachlin’s “I will Remember You.”
14 The number of NFL players who will later be sited in Girls Gone Wild videos filmed that weekend
5 The number of New Orleans area strip club shootings that weekend. (Up from the normal weekend average of 4).
105 The number of brass jazz bands shown during broadcasts
53 The actual number of brass jazz bands that regularly reside in the New Orleans area
26 The number of times a white sports broadcaster awkwardly refers to the city as “Naw’leans,” or “The Big Easy.”
8 The number of times they’ll show Brad Pitt in the stands during the game
32 The number of children he and Angelina Jolie will have by then
7 The number of rehashed, un-insightful montages on how far the Lower Ninth Ward has/hasn’t come since Hurricane Katrina
2 The number of these montages that will be set to Sarah McLachlin’s “I will Remember You.”
14 The number of NFL players who will later be sited in Girls Gone Wild videos filmed that weekend
5 The number of New Orleans area strip club shootings that weekend. (Up from the normal weekend average of 4).
105 The number of brass jazz bands shown during broadcasts
53 The actual number of brass jazz bands that regularly reside in the New Orleans area
26 The number of times a white sports broadcaster awkwardly refers to the city as “Naw’leans,” or “The Big Easy.”
8 The number of times they’ll show Brad Pitt in the stands during the game
32 The number of children he and Angelina Jolie will have by then
14.50 The number of economic impact dollars from this event that will actually travel to places like the Lower Ninth Ward.
3 comments:
You can't write a post about NOLA and not specifically mention boobs! Have I taught you nothing?!?!?!
I mentioned Girls Gone Wild, so boobs were there in spirit
I pictured boobs while reading it, so I say they were included.
I would add a time-lapse sequence showing how the Superdome was refurbished after the hurricane. We're bound to see that. And I really hope it's set to "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" by Starship.
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