1. Does he think he's awkward? If he describes himself as awkward, there's a problem. (To quote Edith Wharton: "[T]he inner vanity is generally in proportion to the outer self-depreciation.") We're misusing that word most of the time anyway. If everyone's awkward, then no one's awkward, okay? (That's the closest I'll ever come to Ayn Rand Objectivist thought.)Just un-freaking-canny.
2. Is he a currently attractive former geek? That's a red flag. He's probably not looking to settle down, even if he plays you Sufjan on his guitar. He's most likely looking for help discovering his newfound hotness.
3. Does he perform improv and have a huuuuge crush on Tina Fey? Look out! You might think those loose-fitting khakis paired with Nike sneakers are endearing and the prospect of having a guy watch Mean Girls with you sounds like a dream come true now, but it's only because he thinks she's a hottie on 30 Rock. Would he have dated her in college?4. Does he still listen to The Shins? All I'm going to say is that the dude from The Shins roughed up his America's Next Top Model girlfriend. I didn't even see that one coming.
5. Does he have a blog? YIKES.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
this post about "nice guys" (which I especially loved because generalizations are awesome). Penned by a gay man, the post discusses the "new" nice guy...the one who claims to be unlike "all the other guys," but is really out to get laid like every other guy in the known universe (nice touch with the Cusack photos throughout, as Johnny pretty much encompasses this idea like no other). Read it to capture the true brilliance, but in case you are unwilling to click, here's his list of signs that maybe a guy isn't so nice after all: