It's such a Friday

When you Google Image my full name (which no, I'm not revealing - even though most of you already know it) this is the first thing that comes up:

I'm obviously having a really productive work day.

Jane Austen + Zombies = Awesome

As someone who loves both the novels of Jane Austen and zombie movies, this sounds like perfection:

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies features the original text of Jane Austen's beloved novel with all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie action. As our story opens, a mysterious plague has fallen upon the quiet English village of Meryton—and the dead are returning to life! Feisty heroine Elizabeth Bennet is determined to wipe out the zombie menace, but she's soon distracted by the arrival of the haughty and arrogant Mr. Darcy. What ensues is a delightful comedy of manners with plenty of civilized sparring between the two young lovers—and even more violent sparring on the blood-soaked battlefield as Elizabeth wages war against hordes of flesh-eating undead."



My prediction: Best Book of 2009.

Things I Don't Understand: Twitter

So, everyone (my friend Colin) has been bugging me to use Twitter, which is apparently like just your Facebook status updated with every little thing you ever do, say or think. Is this really necessary? I don't even use my Facebook status to actually keep people abreast of what I'm doing...I just put whatever song lyric/movie quote I have in my head at the moment (or I use it to profess my undying love for John Locke. The world needs to know these things!). Can someone please explain this to me? Or am I totally right (as usual) that Twitter is for egomaniacs with too much time on their hands? Well?

Okay, I Give In...

I love the new Kelly Clarkson single, "My Life Would Suck Without You" which is, apparently, the fastest rising single in history. Congrats, Kelly. You've hooked me again, you beezy.

Top 5: TV Stars Most in Need of a Sandwich

I recently started watching Burn Notice (because, despite pleas to "get out" and "see sunshine," I like living my life in front of my television) and it prompted this post: TV stars who could really stand to eat more.

Gabrielle Anwar - Burn Notice

Rose Byrne - Damages

The Entire Cast of 90210
(Except for Jennie Garth. Kelly Taylor looks good!)

Jennifer Carpenter - Dexter

Taylor Momsen - Gossip Girl

The follies of youth

I got an email from an old friend over the weekend telling me I owed her two hours of her life back.

She’d rented a movie I told her I liked a few years ago. It’s a quasi-gangster flick called the Boondock Saints, which, as I recall, I mostly liked because it was filmed in Boston and I thought the leads were hot. Even at the time I knew it was full of shoddy acting and clichés, but I got passed it. I honestly haven't seen it in years and don't recall why I liked it, but I won't deny that I did.

(Sidenote: I found out a few years ago this movie is kind of infamous because of the guy who made it. There’s a scathing documentary about him called Overnight).

When I first read the email, I was embarrassed. Having someone tell you a movie you liked was “painfully bad” and the worst movie she’d seen in a long time always makes you question your taste. Then I started thinking about: I was "all about" that movie when I was 18 or 19, around the same time I was "all about" ska and voluntarily watching Dawson’s Creek. Why would anyone take a recommendation from such a person? Ever?

There’s a lot of things in my past I’m not proud of, stylistically speaking. Movies, music, books, clothes, etc. that I not only enjoyed but was proud of enjoying, on which I now look back and cringe. I like to think I've grown up, matured, become a woman of discriminating tastes, but that doesn't change the fact that I owned a pair of Doc Martins until long after they were socially acceptable (if they ever really were).

Sometimes, these things have a way of creeping up on you like the ghost of Jacob Marley, loudly shaking their chains at inopportune moments and reminding you of just how far you haven't come. Often, this happens one way or another in the form of a person you've known since you were in eighth grade.

Now that I've let some skeletons out of my closet, it's your turn. What terrible reminders of the loser you once were - and deep down inside always will be - do you secretly fear a new boyfriend or girlfriend discovering in a box under the bed: Limp Bizkit CDs, Kabbalah bracelets, the ticket stubs from the 14 times you saw The Blair Witch Project? Spill it, kids!

Meanwhile, I’m going to find a copy of Boondock Saints and see if it was really that bad…

This (mostly) Just In...

It's been Oscarmania this week at The Watchword, so let's finish of the week with a roundup of things you may or may not have already heard about:

TV: I Wish I Knew How to Quit You - American Idol, Lost, Damages, Flight of the Conchords, Big Love, BSG...all back to fill my DVR nightly. Thank God. I was actually starting to think I'd have to leave my apartment and socialize.

Veronica Mars Movie: Moving Along - I wish it would move along a bit faster, but apparently being patient is good for me? Sounds like a bunch of psycho-babble to me, but I'll try and work it.

Obama: Best Pesident Ever!!! - Too soon?

And finally, just because the Oscars snub The Boss does not mean we will follow suit. His awesome song from The Wrestler:

And the Nominees Are...

I correctly predicted 72 out of 97 nominations, which is an improvement from last year's 66 out of 99 (last year there were 5 nominated songs).

You can see the complete list of nominations here.

FAVORITE SURPRISES:
1. Martin McDonagh's original screenplay nomination for In Bruges!
2. Richard Jenkins best actor nomination for The Visitor (as I had predicted)
3. Frozen River's Melissa Leo nominated for best actress instead of Sally Hawkins for Happy-Go-Lucky

BIGGEST UPSETS
1. No nomination for Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan
2. No Best Picture nomination for The Dark Knight
3. No nomination for Bruce Springsteen's The Wrestler
4. The Reader gets nominated for Best Picture and Best Director
5. Wanted gets nominations in Sound caegories instead of Defiance

BEST OF THE OVERLOOKED
PICTURE: In Bruges and The Visitor
DIRECTOR: Christopher Nolan "The Dark Knight" and Martin McDonagh "In Bruges"
ACTOR: Colin Farrell "In Bruges" and Clint Eastwood "Gran Torino"
ACTRESS: Emily Mortimer "Transsiberian" and Rebecca Hall "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
SUPPORTING ACTOR: Liev Schreiber "Defiance" and Colin Farrell "Cassandra's Dream"
SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Rosemarie DeWitt "Rachel Getting Married" and Michelle Williams "Synecdoche, New York"
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Tom McCarthy "The Visitor" and Charlie Kaufman "Synecdoche, New York"
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: David S. Goyer and the Nolan brothers "The Dark Knight" and Clark Gregg "Choke"

The Rest of the Nominees Will Be...

You're missing out if you don't check out the MySpace blog for more in depth analysis plus what I would vote for in these categories.

For a complete list of my predictions as well as picks for the best of 2008 including my Top 25, you can check it out here.

And here are my predictions for the four remaining categories not covered in my previous entries. Check back tomorrow for the results.


PICTURE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Milk
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E

DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky "The Wrestler"
Danny Boyle "Slumdog Millionaire"
David Fincher "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Christopher Nolan "The Dark Knight"
Gus Van Sant "Milk"

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Eric Roth and Robin Swicord
Doubt - John Patrick Shanley
Frost/Nixon - Peter Morgan
The Reader - David Hare
Slumdog Millionaire - Simon Beaufoy

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Happy-Go-Lucky - Mike Leigh
Milk - Dustin Lance Black
Vicky Cristina Barcelona - Woody Allen
The Visitor - Tom McCarthy
WALL-E - Andrew Stanton and Jim Reardon

Even More Nominees Will Be...

As usual you can read in depth analysis as well as my own preferences for these choices by checking out the MySpace blog which also includes links for many possible contenders for Original Song and Music Score. But here are the predictions.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
WALL-E


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Encounters At the End of the World
I.O.U.S.A.
Man On Wire
Standard Operating Procedure
Trouble the Water

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
3 Monkeys (Turkey)
The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany)
The Class (France)
Everlasting Moments (Sweden)
Waltz With Bashir (Israel)

BEST ORIGINAL MUSIC SCORE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Alexandre Desplat
Defiance - James Newton Howard
Revolutionary Road - Thomas Newman
Slumdog Millionaire - A.R. Rahman
WALL-E - Thomas Newman

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Down To Earth "WALL-E" - Peter Gabriel and Thomas Newman
Gran Torino "Gran Torino" - Jamie Cullum, Michael Stevens, and Clint and Kyle Eastwood
I Thought I Lost You "Bolt" - Miley Cyrus and Jeffrey Steele
Jaiho "Slumdog Millionaire" - A.R. Rahman
The Wrestler "The Wrestler" - Bruce Springsteen

Tomorrow I'll be posting my predictions in the remaining categories (Picture, Director, Screenplays) and then let you know how I did on Thursday after they announce the nominations.

In the Immortal Words of Celine Dion, A New Day Has Come

Well done, people. Well freaking done.

More Nominees Will Be...

Not everyone gets all that excited about the technical categories but if you'd like to read what I have to say about what deserves to be nominated or why I'm making the following predictions, check the MySpace blog. You can also hear me discussing predictions in all the categories with Jason O'Brien on tonight's Oscar, Oscar! broadcast on Blog Talk Radio. Or you can just read the list of predictions:

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Claudio Miranda
The Dark Knight - Wally Pfister
Defiance - Eduardo Serra
Revolutionary Road - Roger Deakins
Slumdog Millionaire - Anthony Dod Mantle

BEST FILM EDITING
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Kirk Baxter and Angus Wall
The Dark Knight - Lee Smith
Frost/Nixon - Daniel P. Hanley and Mike Hill
Milk - Elliot Graham
Slumdog Millionaire - Chris Dickens

BEST ART DIRECTION
Changeling - James J. Murakami and Gary Fettis
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Donald Graham Burt and Victor J. Zolto
The Dark Knight - Nathan Crowley and Peter Lando
Revolutionary Road - Kristi Zea and Debra Schutt
Slumdog Millionaire - Mark Digby and Michelle Day

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Changeling - Deborah Hopper
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - Jacqueline West
The Duchess - Michael O'Connor
Revolutionary Road - Albert Wolsky
Slumdog Millionaire - Suttirat Larlarb

BEST MAKEUP
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Synecdoche, New York

BEST SOUND MIXING
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Defiance
Slumdog Millionaire
WALL-E

BEST SOUND EDITING
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Defiance
Iron Man
WALL-E

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Iron Man

Au revoir, le George: A retrospective

Call me crazy, but I think a small part of us is going to miss George W. Bush.

Not so much the “Bombs for democracy!” aspects of his presidency, nor the “Science is for gay people” current than ran through it all. Not even the “Heckuva job letting thousands of Americans drown in the streets of a major city, Brownie” side of things. But you know, the good times: The choking on pretzels. The massaging German chancellors. The speeches about how, “Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.”

I was 18 when W. was sworn in as the king of ‘merica. Not a girl, not yet a woman. In the eight years since - in no particular order - I’ve graduated from college, traveled around Europe, lost my virginity, discovered my favorite band, turned 21, developed a short-lived affinity for Camel Reds, lived in sin, gotten my first fulltime job, moved across the country, and most important of all, started a blog. And through it all, there has one been constant: the monkey-faced cowboy in the Oval Office making "decisions" and taking hilarious photos.

I never voted for G. Dubs, and disagreed with most of his policies, but still, in the maelstrom of late adolescences/early-mid 20s, it's nice to have some kind of constant. In a lot of ways, Georgie was mine. So, with the advice of Thumper in mind, I’ve decided to come up with Five Good things about the George W. Bush Presidency, as a way to send the old boy off:

1) We never did get attacked again. Sure 9/11 happened on his watch in the first place, and you could argue Iraq and Afghanistan did more harm than good, but the fact remains that American soil has been a safe haven from radical Islamic terrorism ever since W. promised to make it so. Now, radical hurricane terrorism and gun and drug violence are another story … but I digress.

2) He didn’t actually take away that many of our civil liberties. And considering the climate after 9/11, he could have. A lot of people liked to say the US "became like Nazi Germany” under Bush. These people have clearly never actually studied Nazi Germany.

3) The Daily Show got 1,000 times better under Bush. Honestly, both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert should offer to walk Barney and Miss Beazley for the next five years. W’s many pratfalls made their careers.

4) AIDS in Africa. I’m too lazy to look up actual information on this, but I’ve read from various sources, both right and left, that Bush did more than any of his predecessors to help stop this epidemic.

5) We get to have Barack Obama now. W. messed things up so bad, America was willing to elect a black man president. I don’t know if Barry's going to be great, but I'd bet actual US dollars (now worth almost one Canadian dollar and a quarter of a British pound!) that he’ll be better. Was this last one kind of a back-handed compliment? Sure, but so were the last eight years.

God bless, George. Don’t let the door hit ya!

The Nominees Will Be...

Oscar nominations will be announced on Thursday and I started my latest OscarBlog series on my blog over at MySpace, beginning with the acting categories. You can click on "Garney" in the Approved Time Wasters section on the left or just click here to read what I have to say on the subject, as well as who I think should get nominated.

For those who are only interested in the list of predictions, here they are:

ACTOR
Clint Eastwood "Gran Torino"
Richard Jenkins "The Visitor"
Frank Langella "Frost/Nixon"
Sean Penn "Milk"
Mickey Rourke "The Wrestler"

ACTRESS
Anne Hathaway "Rachel Getting Married"
Sally Hawkins "Happy-Go-Lucky"
Angelina Jolie "Changeling"
Meryl Streep "Doubt"
Kate Winslet "Revolutionary Road"

SUPPORTING ACTOR
Josh Brolin "Milk"
Robert Downey Jr. "Tropic Thunder"
Philip Seymour Hoffman "Doubt"
Heath Ledger "The Dark Knight"
Dev Patel "Slumdog Millionaire"

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams "Doubt"
Penelope Cruz "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"
Viola Davis "Doubt"
Marisa Tomei "The Wrestler"
Kate Winslet "The Reader"

I hope you do take the time to check out the full blog though because I really did spend more time on it than I should have.

The Next Big Thing: Us

Liz and I started a band:
Name: Let's Make Out
First Album: Mormon Chaos!
Red on vox, Liz on guitar and awesome indie girl hair, our friend Matty K on percussion and hatin'

We've not actually practiced or anything, but we have been thinking of awesome songs to cover. Our list so far:
"Superstar" by The Carpenters
"Better Man" by Pearl Jam
"Acid Tongue" by Jenny Lewis
"Express Yourself" by Madonna
"The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by The Band
"With Arms Outstretched" by Rilo Kiley



So, here's where you come in, dear reader. What other awesome songs should we cover? Keep in mind, these songs should a) sound good with only voice, guitar and drums, b) make drunken bar goers sing a-long and/or not throw things at us, and c) be musically easy to learn because, obviously, we're not planning on putting a lot of work into this. Suggest away!

And the Oscar for lamest gimmick goes to ...

To do: Find excuse to show pic of Clooney in tux. Check.

After last year's Oscars were a ratings bust, the magical woodland creatures who produce the show decided to jazz things up with everyone's favorite jazzercise: Seeeecrets!

They're keeping all the presenters a secret so that when they come out to give away naked bald man statues, the audience will be shocked and awed, practically passing out before they even recap the nominees.

This is dumbest idea ever thought up in a person's brain for three reasons:

1) No one cares about the presenters.

2) Everyone will see anyone who's going to be at the show on their way in on the red carpet because actors are dirty, dirty self-promoting whores who couldn't stay off a red carpet if it was on fire and

3) No one cares about the presenters.


What Hollywood should do if it wants people to watch the Oscars is make movies that are both really, really good and lots and lots of people will see. But they'll probably just keep putting Larry the Cable Guy in things. I guess sometimes it's just easier that way.

This (mostly) Just In...

Ricky Gervais on Inside the Actor's Studio - The British funny man will sit down with James Lipton Monday night. I haven't watched this show in ages, but I'd watch Ricky do just about anything (I even saw Ghost Town and enjoyed it more than expected).

More Terrible Ideas: Karate Kid Remake - The hits just keep on comin'. Jackie Chan is in talks to play Mr. Miyagi while Will Smith's son Jayden is slated to play the new Daniel. Who's leg do I have to sweep to make this horrible idea go away?

No A.I. Posts For You - So, I'm sure you know American Idol is back with Season 8 and I realize you are totally missing my recaps, but I am forgoing them this season to let another shine. If you really want truly hilarious recaps, go see BeckEye. Trust me. You won't miss mine at all.

Don't Check the San Diego Weather Forecast - Seriously, don't do it. Unless you really enjoy weeping with jealousy.

Signs I am Getting Old - Vol. 3

I used to read this:

Now, I read this:
I may not know all the new sex tricks, but damn if I can't organize a closet.

OK, apparently the Brits aren't ALWAYS cool...

One last post on the Golden Globes and then I swear we'll move onto something more spiritual and enlightening (like the Oscars). But this little item came across my desk at GitW HQ and I just couldn't let it go un-commented upon:

Seems that while Red and I were charmed to pieces by Kate Winslet's acceptance speeches and making vows to work "Gather" into our everyday vocabularies, the stoic people of post-War Britain were shocked, shocked! to see a real live Hollywood actress show human feeling.

The stiff upper lip is apparently alive and well in the Merry Olde, as the British press - known the world over for its character and restraint - demanded an apology from Winslet for getting flustered and blubbery at winning two shiny statues. Because it's England, they bring their hangups about that adorable Class System of theirs into the whole mix as well, and namecheck that Mitford family they're always going on about, but who no one else anywhere has heard of. Ever.

So there you have it. Just when you stopped thinking English people were all tea drinking fops with bad teeth and an unquenchable thirst for colonization, and instead regarded the country as an exporter of wonderful things like The Beatles and Ricky Gervais, they go ahead and remind us all why we claimed our independence in the first place: For the right to cry and make fools of ourselves should we ever win a Golden Globe.

God. Bless. America.

It's cool Kate, I totally forget Angelina's name all the time too. Let's hang out some time. Bring your little friend there.

Golden Globe Recap

15 out of 24 correct isn't so bad, right? Here are my takeaways from last night's awards ceremony:

Kate Winslet - As adorable as suspected. "Gather."

Colin Farrell - Less douchey than expected.

And the funniest acceptance speech ever?



Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!

Golden Globe Predictions: Movies

Part II (full disclosure: Garney totally helped me with my picks as he a) has seen more of the nominees than I have and b) is way better at predicting these things):

Best Picture - Drama: Slumdog Millionaire. None of the nominees are my pic for the best picture I've seen this year (that would go to Milk or Wall-E), so I'm picking Slumdog because it's won the most critics awards so far.

Actress - Drama: Anne Hathaway. This is a Garney pick. Plus, the Globes love new blood. I wouldn't count out Meryl (ever) or Angelina, though.

Actor - Drama: Sean Penn. Sure he won not too long ago, but no one gave a better performance this year. The only person I could see snatching this from him is Mickey Rourke because everyone loves a good comeback.

Best Picture - Comedy: In Bruges. The only comedy nominated I really liked a lot. Mamma Mia? Really?

Actress - Comedy: Sally Hawkins. Again, based on all the critical attention and the lack of decent competition.

Actor - Comedy: Colin Farrell. His best work ever, in my not-so-humble opinion.

Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz. Her best work ever, in my not-so-humble opinion.

Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger. He was amazing and it's posthumous. I can't imagine this not happening.

Animated Film: Wall-E. Probably my favorite film of the year. I'm bummed it can't win the Best Picture award it actually deserves.

Director: Danny Boyle. Best Picture and Best Director should go hand in hand.

Screenplay: Doubt. Because Garney said so.

Score: Benjamin Button. Because Garney said so.

Original Song: "The Wrestler" Because it The Boss!

Tune in Sunday night to see how well (or poorly) I do.

Golden Globe Predictions: TV

Today, I shall use the same powers of prediction that called Christian Siriano as the winner of Project Runway season 4 to predict the winners for the TV awards at the Golden Globes this Sunday. Here we go:

Television Series - Drama: Mad Men. The best drama on TV was even better this year than last. It can't not win again.

Best Actor - Drama: John Hamm. Gorgeous and talented. Sometimes life is so unfair.

Best Actress - Drama: January Jones. Gorgeous and talented. Sometimes life is so unfair.

Television Series - Comedy: 30 Rock. Nothing on TV is funnier. Nothing!

Best Actor - Comedy: Alec Baldwin. Steve Carell is just as hilarious, but I'm betting Baldwin takes it.

Best Actress - Comedy: Tina Fey. For creating and writing the series as much as anything.

Best Mini-Series/Made for TV Movie: John Adams. Where is Generation Kill, dummies?!

Best Actor - Mini-Series/Made for TV Movie: Paul Giamatti. Pig vomit does it again.

Best Actress - Mini-Series/Made for TV Movie: Laura Linney. Judi Dench may sweep in and nab this one, but I actually watched John Adams and Linney is totally deserving.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Neil Patrick Harris. It's his time finally, right? They can't give another award to Piven, can they?

Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Laura Dern. Pitch perfect Katherine Harris.

Tomorrow, it's the movie nominees, which I will predict without having seen most of them. God, I'm bold.

Who You Got?*

Which sounds like a worse idea:

1. Steven Spielberg and Will Smith collaborating on an Oldboy remake?

OR

2. Baz Luhrmann remaking The Great Gatsby?

I gotta go with the Spielberg/Smith remake of the uber-dark Korean movie about torture and vengeance. I'm not saying the fellas can't go dark, but dark enough? I dunno.

What say ye?


*I can honor McGone, too. See.

What I Did On My New Years Staycation

Experienced man trouble that almost drove me insane, but now just mostly makes me laugh.

Sang "Auld Lang Syne" until I lost my voice.

Met a ginger fella from "Connecticut" with a faux sounding Brooklyn accent.

Re-watched season 1 of 30 Rock. Re-watched season 2 twice.

Lived like it was Shark Week.

Watched Britney: For the Record and kinda wished I was BFF with Britney Spears.

Laughed at my neighbors for keeping their horrific xmas decorations up way longer than acceptable.

Watched the Chargers beat the Colts in overtime. Go Bolts!

Got sick and wished for death to come.

Participated in this exchange with my friend LizO:

LizO: You think we'll ever get to the point where we just have one glass of wine and that's enough?

Me: God, I hope not.

Happy New Year, people. Happy New Year.

Fantasy Awards Season

As you pop culture aficionados know, Hollywood’s awards season is nearly upon us. From the American Spirit Awards to the Oscars, the next few months will have red carpets and self-congratulation to spare.

Since awards season coincides with something of a dearth in the sports season (most of the biggies are post-Super Bowl, and February is only exciting if you’re a fan of the FIRST PLACE Celtics and Bruins like half of us at the Watchword) some friends of mine came up with an idea for a "Fantasy Awards Season" game.

The rules are still sketchy, but basically, we’re going to “draft” movie studios, movies, directors, actors, etc., and then win points based on how many nominations and wins they garner. There’s a point system (a win is worth more than a nomination, picking an actor is worth more than picking a studio, etc.)

We’re only focusing on the Golden Globes and Oscars, as those have the most awards. I’m pushing to include the BAFTA awards too, but I’m not sure I’ll win that argument.

My friends and I are holding our draft this weekend, but you still have a few weeks if any of you guys want to get a league started. And don’t pretend like you’re not a huge nerd who wants to do this. Everyone knows you are.

Also, if anyone is tech savvy enough to put together a Web program for this, to make it all automated like most fantasy leagues, that would be the raddest. I’ll pay you in sunshine and gumballs!