Things I Learned from Reality TV in 2007

I don't really watch a lot of reality TV (well, not compared to some people (my former roommate) anyway), but I have learned some valuable lessons from the genre this year...

Being evil can win you big money - The 2 best examples of this are Hung winning Top Chef and Todd winning Survivor. The difference between the two? Hung was one of the most annoying, arrogant reality TV characters ever, while Todd was kinda adorable (in a completely evil way).

Complaining can get you decent money, too, but not as much as being likable - This Sunday, on the Survivor finale, the fourth place finisher (Denise "The Lunch Lady") told a sob story about losing her job when she returned from the show and being forced to work the night shift as a janitor. Mark Burnett was so sad, he gave her $50,000! (Now it turns out she was possibly lying. Seriously, what's wrong with people?) She should have stopped complaining and been likable...like James...who took home $100,000 as the "fan favorite"...and has a pretty crappy job, too (I think grave digging would be the worst job in the world, but my, if it doesn't give you amazing arms).

Also, on America's Next Top Model, Jenna (the best of the bunch) was voted off because she had a sarcastic sense of humor (you know, like all the cool girls you want to be friends with). Dumbest final 2 ever...and this is a show about models!

China is so hot right now - This season of Survivor was the first show ever to film entirely in China and ANTM traveled to China to show it was a major fashion capital. You think the Chinese government begged Mark Burnett and Tyra to come shoot there to counter bad PR for trying to poison our dogs and children?

Men are better cooks then women - In 4 seasons, a woman has never won Top Chef and the 2 women on Next Iron Chef America were kicked off faster then America rips off good foreign TV ideas as their own. I think this should lead to flipped stereotypes where women get to sit on the couch and drink beer while their husbands cook dinner. Awesome...

I only need 10 items in my closet - According to Tim Gunn, there are only 10 essential items women need in their closet. I am thisclose to chucking everything, running up my Banana Republic bill and creating a whole new "soul stirring" wardrobe. Something is holding me back though. Maybe it's my complete and utter fear of credit cards. Or my (deluded) belief that I will be on a makeover show someday, so TLC or Bravo can pay for the new wardrobe...which is really a better plan in the long run.

Jeff Probst asks the tough questions - During the Survivor reunion show, Probst asked Denise about her mullet (which she says is for her husband so he'll know she's pretty and feminine. Uh, sure), Erik's virginity (which he still has...at 26) and Courtney about her weight (she got down to 80-something pounds by the end of the show...yikes!). Who does this guy think he is? Katie Couric?!

Sarah Jessica Parker makes people freak out - I remember when I was in NYC this summer, my cousin and I discussed who we would most want to run into on the street. I, as always, said John Cusack, but my cousin nailed it when she said SJP. I think I would've died if we saw SPJ on the street in NYC. Then SJP appeared on Project Runway and all the designers freaked out. She has become so iconic...it's like our version of Elvis, where people just completely lose their sh*t when she appears. It's fantastic.

Pretty good life lessons, if you ask me. Here's to many more in 2008.