Wednesday, May 21, 2008

American Idol: Some Finale Questions

First, eff my effing DVR and it's desire to cut off anything "important" 5 minutes before the effing end of the effing program (sorry. I'm trying to be all Cate Blanchett in Life Aquatic and not swear and stuff). I had to read who won online. I hate that shit! (oops)

Second, I found myself totally loving the American Idol finale tonight (I swear Nigel Lythgoe called up 12-year-old Red and said, "Who would you like to see perform on the American Idol finale?" and I said, "Uh, Bryan Adams and George Michael, obvs. Because they are my favorite" and it was so), but it left me with a few questions:

Is there anyone who finds Mike Myers and his Love Guru character funny? Anyone?

Was the Carly/MJ duet the producers way of saying, "Sorry viewers who love sexy, talented people. We needed the Double David finale for the ratings."?

Did anyone love the David Cook Guitar Hero commercial as much as I did? (my grandma even called me to give me a heads up about it. She is the coolest grandma ever.)

Will someone volunteer to kill me if I ever have to hear that dreadful One Republic Apologize song ever again?

Why did Jordan Sparks dress like a doll for her performance (which I fast forwarded through)?

Will Carrie Underwood ever say no to an offer to appear at an Idol event?

Will David Cook's career be okay?

Will Little David survive his father's disappointment?

Did America finally figure out how this whole voting for the person who will actually make a decent record thing works?

And, most importantly, think I can still get David Cook to marry me now that he's all famous and stuff? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Until next season, friends.

5 comments:

BeckEye said...

You've got questions, I've got answers.

Is there anyone who finds Mike Myers and his Love Guru character funny? Anyone? No. Probably not even Mike Meyers.

Was the Carly/MJ duet the producers way of saying, "Sorry viewers who love sexy, talented people. We needed the Double David finale for the ratings."? Sounds logical. Are there no Nielsen families who like sexy, talented people?

Did anyone love the David Cook Guitar Hero commercial as much as I did? (my grandma even called me to give me a heads up about it. She is the coolest grandma ever.) I loved it, but I'm guessing not quite as much as you.

Will someone volunteer to kill me if I ever have to hear that dreadful One Republic Apologize song ever again? Sure. Can I listen to it while I kill you? It's awesome.

Why did Jordan Sparks dress like a doll for her performance (which I fast forwarded through)? Because that's what Clive dressed her in?

Will Carrie Underwood ever say no to an offer to appear at an Idol event? No.

Will David Cook's career be okay? Yes.

Will Little David survive his father's disappointment? Yes. But he might go all Britney Spears in a year or two.

Did America finally figure out how this whole voting for the person who will actually make a decent record thing works? Votes? What are these votes you speak of?

And, most importantly, think I can still get David Cook to marry me now that he's all famous and stuff? Yeah, I didn't think so. Why not? I'm going to get Michael Johns to marry me, even though he's already married. Big Love, baby. It's on the way.

Falwless said...

I actually think the whole Mariska Hargitay thing gets funnier and funnier. I'm probably the only one on this planet who feels this way. YAY FOR COOK! I'm so glad you and Becks gave me extra entertainment this season. God bless you both.

And I really enjoyed George Michael - my god he sounds fucking phenomenal, still!

Red said...

Becks: I know I can always count on you for answers.

Fal: George is still amazing. God I love that man. Wanna come to SD and go to his concert with me?

Garney said...

My answers to your questions.... but I'm too lazy to cut/paste

1. Yes. Racists and morons. He seemed to make David Cook laugh pretty hard at the end there too. So... racists, morons, and David Cook.
2. I don't know but me fast forwarding through it was my way of saying I don't care.
3. I'm sure David Cook loved it as much as you did.
4. I'm sorry I won't. I hope it's not too late to say that.
5. Why does Jordan Sparks do anything any more?
6. Will American Idol ever stop inviting her?
7. For someone who wasn't planning on auditioning in the first place, any career is going to be more than okay.
8. I don't know, but I'm glad I don't have to watch him lick his lips in between song phrases any more.
9. I think you overestimate America's thought process in voting.
10. If Mike Meyers can make him laugh...

Andra said...

Sorry, Red. I am SOOO marrying David Cook as soon as he realizes that Kimberley Caldwell is not right for him!:)