Things I wish I was into

Have you ever seen something - like a hobby, or a style, or a religious cult - and thought, “Hey, that looks cool. I’d like to get into that,” but fate and laziness keep getting in your way? Well I have. And here are some examples of those things. Things I’d love to get into right now, if only all kinds of sordid reasons weren't preventing me. Feel free to share your own, or help with mine. I’d kind of rather you helped with mine, but you know, whatever, do what you want. Leech.


Tom Waits – The few Tom Waits songs I’ve heard, I really liked. I want to hear more. But dude’s got like 400 albums going back 30 years and I just don’t where to start. If anyone knows his best album, I’m all ears. (Haha. Get it? Pun).





Horse Racing – The Triple Crown has reminded me that I’ve always wanted to get into horse racing. Like, really into it - not just watching the Kentucky Derby every few years and going the track once a decade. I want to know who famous horses, jockeys and owners are. I want to speak fluidly the language of the Sport of Kings! Maybe if I’m not too busy, I’ll watch the Preakness this weekend. Yes, that’s the ticket! This is going to be huge, I can feel it.





Cooking – I’ve never really liked cooking. Cooking shows bore me, and since I grew up with a mom who makes good but plain meals, I always saw cooking as a sort of necessary chore rather than something fun and interesting. (Having a kitchen the size of my junior high locker doesn't help either). But lately I’ve grown tired of the 4 dishes I know how to make and would like to learn more. I even bought a crock-pot from a friend, even though I have no idea how to use it. I’ve been trying to get recipes and stuff off line, but its tough when you’ve never heard of half the ingredients. (Leeks? Okra? Fresh vegetables? What are these things?!?) So I think I need some kind of cooking tutor. Suggestions?

Opera – No, not Oprah. Opera. The music. Seriously. What? You think someone who laughs at lolcats can’t be high-brow? Whenever I hear opera music, I secretly like it. I bought a copy of Moztart’s Requiem after I saw Amadeus last year. Trouble is, historically inaccurate '80s biopics are about the only educational tool I have. If a youngish gal of slightly below average means and intelligence wanted to learn more about opera, where would one suggest she start, hmm?

Helping people – Look, it’s not that I enjoy being the self-centered waste of space that I am. It’s just that all my previous attempts at generosity have been thwarted. Once, in high school, I tried volunteering at a food pantry, but they didn’t really give me anything to do and the other volunteers were oddly cliquey for a bunch of supposed humanitarians. So I stopped going. And then, for about two weeks in college, I seriously considered joining the Peace Corp. But then I found out it required a lot of essays and recommendations and good grades, so that was out. I want to do more than throw money at natural disasters. I want to help my fellow man. If anyone knows of a way to do this - without taking too much time away from my television and boozing schedules – please, clue me in.

This could totally be me. But you know, from my couch.