I turn 30 exactly 2 months from today and, as a wise man once said, "like all women, [I think my] birthday's the biggest deal in the history of recorded time." Now, I'm not as selfish as some people. I don't expect you all to actually give me gifts or draw me pictures or even leave me comments/posts posts about my greatness. All I ask is you come to my birthday party. In San Diego. Thanksgiving weekend.
My selflessness knows no bounds.
Now, maybe you are thinking, "Red, I don't even really know you. Why would I give up a full weekend of fun with my family in my cold ass city half-way/all the way across the country to spend the most significant birthday you may ever have with you in sunny San Diego?" Well, I'm glad you asked:
1. I can guarantee San Diego will be warmer than wherever you plan to spend your holiday. Unless you live in Miami or Hawaii...and then screw you.
2. I'm sure your family is lovely, but I'd bet $50 you'd love an excuse to skip out on Thanksgiving this year. If not, you really need to reconsider just how American you are. I mean, what's more American than avoiding your family? Nothing, that's what. (Canadian readers...no Thanksgiving excuse for you. Suckers!)
3. Traveling on Thanksgiving weekend is fun! Where else can you see the worst of humanity all huddled together in one place? Think. You could have your very own Planes, Trains and Automobiles experience!
4. You'd get to meet me, Liz and Dave!
I'm giving you plenty of notice, so you can get your travel arrangements all sorted. C'mon, friends. This is all I want from you for my birthday (yes, even you, Mathdude). I really don't think I'm asking too much.
P.S. If you don't think you'll make it, send me an email and I'll let you know where to send your gifts. You're welcome.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Countdown to 30: 61 Days
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7 comments:
Meeting me and Dave is 4th? That should have been #1!!!
If lived near there I would totally go. Unless you can send me first class plane tickets and then a car from the airport - I will have to pass.
Maybe one year, I'll have what the kids call "money" and "time," and then I'll crash on everyone's couch for no reason other than "because I can." But until then, I'll just saying that my wit is my gift to the world, and it's selfish to ask for more than that Promethean gift.
This would actually be fun. But I am broke. I don't know if you heard, but there's some stuff going on with the economy.
Oh, but I was broke way before that.
As if I didn't have enough reasons to be in San Diego for Thanksgiving... yet one more thing I'm going to miss out on. We'll celebrate 30 and a quarter year when I'm out there in February.
Concur with first comment.
Wait, Liz and Dave are REAL?
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