In last night's season premiere of The Office, Holly (aka The New Toby) asked Michael "Why do guys not call when they say they will call?" Michael, of course, always calls everyone back immediately, but, as we all know, Michael is a special breed of man.
So, fellas, answer the question. Why do men not call when they say they will call? And furthermore, why do men ask for your number and then never call at all? I'm just curious...you know, for a friend...guys always call me when they say they will. Always.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Life's Questions: As Seen on The Office
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Some guy called me last night, but I was too excited about watching The Office to bother answering the phone.
I don't think they're allowed to tell us.
It's because we're too scared because once a girl gave us her number and it turned out to be that of a Pizza delivery place.
And yes, I am speaking for all men and not just me.
Dan's Guide to Getting a Man
Why do men not call when they say they will call?
Men are simple creatures as you may have noticed, and will focus on whatever is in front of them more than anything. If we have something else to do, we will undoubtedly forsake the phone call for watching ESPN or whatever we're doing, because like it or not, we men have zero attention span nor inclination for anything not immediate.
Also, who likes talking? (Or more specific, listening.) Chances are if you get a female on the other end they're going to talk about something you may not be interested in, especially since you don't know each other. That's fucking painful for us men. Men like doing, not talking about doing. It's a curse/blessing, but that's the way it is. Talk is pointless for us men, unless it's to serve a purpose that is clear and immediate. (Not as in 'getting to know each other' either, that happens through osmosis, if ever).
Why do they ask for your number and then not call? Because they've already proved you're potentially interested in them which is a little victory and probably enough to satisfy their egos. Cause most men that go out in public are more interested in satisfying their own self-worth than actually getting a girlfriend.
So.....if they don't call back, they're not worth worrying about, right?
I'd recommend that if you're interested in a guy, get THEIR number. If they don't give it to you then they're not interested. Solved!
Then when you call them, don't blah blah - just say "Hey, you want to hook up on Friday and we'll go for pizza and a movie?" That's it, then say "I gotta go and do something" after it's settled and hang up.
Don't talk about anything else on the phone, you can get to know them while you're in the same room or underneath them, sweating and panting. You know, wherever.
Does that help? I hope so, cause I'm fresh out of ideas after that.
Becks: The Office does trump men, like, in general.
Red: I think you are correct, my dear.
TIR: I would never do something like that. I'd just say, "No. You can't have my number" because that's so much nicer...being a bitch to your face.
Dan: Thanks so much for taking my, err, I mean, my friend's query so seriously. You are, as always, such a help...to her. I knew all that already.
Can't read this - didn't watch yet.
I can't possibly be as long-winded as Dan about this, but the part I agree with involves the ego boost, which is getting girls to give up something personal.
Really, we just know that saying we'll call will give us an easy out of the immediate conversation, and we like the idea that we can get laid more than actually getting laid sometimes. And as Dan noted, once you're out of sight, we're probably not going to think about you again.
We're charmers.
"Cause most men that go out in public are more interested in satisfying their own self-worth than actually getting a girlfriend."
Although I appreciate Dan's honesty, and I do in fact believe him, as a single woman... this is deeply disturbing to me.
Men are stupid. Just never say "I'll call you." And if you do, never ever specify a time. Dur. Then when you call, it's a nice surprise. Like most of life, this is all about setting very low expectations and then slightly exceeding them.
There are two times when I had a girl's number and didn't call...
Time #1:
I went out on one date with this girl I didn't know very well (she saw me in a show that her brother did costumes for and he introduced us). We grabbed dinner at Fins and saw Primary Colors and I drover her home and told her I'd call her. I totally meant to, but I was just really busy and then it got to the point where I was embarrassed that I hadn't called so I never did. Two years later I ran into her at a blood mobile where we were both donating, and I wondered whether I should apologize for not calling but I decided it was best not to bring it up and we had a nice conversation about our respective spouses.
Time #2:
The first time I hooked up (in a PG rated way) with a girl at a party (after separating from the spouse I discussed in the previous occasion) and I put her number into my phone but I exited without saving. When I asked my friend who had thrown the party he told me that she came to the party with a boyfriend (who was another friend of his) who left before I got there because they got in some fight and advised I just let it go. So I did.
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