Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Oh no she didn't!

This is not the droid you're looking for.


Apparently the ceaseless Jessica Simpson is on the market for a new man, which usually isn't something I would even bother yawning over, except that her lastest priorities are very specific: she wants a guy from Boston.


As a Massachusetts native with a big Boston-shaped place in my heart, this news compelled me to issue the following statement to the son's of the Hub:


RUN!!!! AVERT YOUR EYES, KEEP CHANTING THE PHRASE "NICK LACHECY'S CASTOFF" AND JUST F*CKING RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Boston is the City of Champions. Date like it.

7 comments:

Red said...

Ugh. She really is the worst...like, worse then Britney.

Her comments are so ridiculous. "A Boston man is closest to a Southern man, I believe." She should just marry Dane Cook and get it over with...

Liz said...

I think Dane Cook is originally from the Boston area, but we downplay that.

(Also that last sentence is a reference to a public service announcement the Red Sox put out around the time they won the WS in 2004, asking people not to riot if they won. Players would get on screen and say, "Boston in the City of Champions, act like it." I didn't expect anyone to get that reference.

Red said...

Exactly! So we kill two birds (or in this care annoying d-listers) with one stone...and Dane Cook and JSimp are both off the market and can't cause any real dating harm

or something

Nooch said...

One word... HA!

ps.. I got your act like it reference. See even Yankee fans pay attention.

Liz said...

Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, eh? ;-)

Dave H said...

"I wanna meet this Dunkin guy. His Donuts are everywhere!"

Garney said...

The only people I would ever want to meet with the last name Simpson are all animated.