Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Going postal

Sometimes you need to vent. When you have a blog, you vent in public. It’s a 21st Century quirk. Here are some things that are stickin’ in my craw lately. Please feel free to commiserate.


The Post Office: I went to mail a package on my lunch break today, and there’s a line out the door. Three people are working, looking miserable in that distinct "Postal employee" way. At least two other able-bodied, cash register-trained workers are milling about aimlessly, not doing anything while the line persists. Listen, I know "the mail never stops," and wearing a uniform’s a drag, but you guys get pensions, free health care and freakin’ Columbus Day off! Would it kill you to jump behind the counter and sell some stamps?

Halloween: Traditionally, All Hallow’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays. So maybe I am officially old because this year I kind of can’t be bothered. Me and some friends planned to dress up as the cast of "Mad Men," and I was excited about that, but now I’m realizing that means combing thrift stores for an outfit and figuring out how to give myself Peggy Olson bangs, never mind finding a party to go to, and I’m not really sure I’m up for it.

My sinuses: I know I complain about my allergies a lot, but they made me miss trivia last night, and I hear there was an Irish Heritage/Kennedy category that I would have KILLED, so now its personal. I’ve had a wheezy cough and a constant sinus headache for a few years now, I’ve made peace with that. But for the last week, I’ve also had a runny nose, lots of sneezing and general exhaustion. It might be time for me to suck it up and start getting “the shots.”

Nouveau Red Sox fans: I only became a “serious” Red Sox fan in the late ‘90s, so it feels weird to call out newbies, but after hearing some people complain about getting bounced by the Angels in the ALDS, I gotta pull some rank. The Red Sox have won two World Series in 5 years. We have nothing to complain about. There are a million teams (OK, 22) who would have killed just to make the playoffs. The reason losses like ’86, ’99 and ’03 used to hurt so badly was because we hadn’t won in forever and wondered if we ever would. That’s over. Quit complaining. You sound like a-holes. Or worse, Yankee fans.

The fact that it's only Tuesday: Honestly, this is probably what it all boils down to.

You know what? I think it's time for some corgi puppies eating a shoe. There's nothing that can't be solved with corgi puppies eating a shoe.

Ahhh, much better.


Anonymous said...

You should go as a Red Sox player to a Halloween party. All you need is a tear-stained jersey and your mascara to run and you're halfway there. :)

Oh snap!

red said...

You and those corgi puppies!

I hope you get into Halloween, my dear. I can't be Joan all by myself.

BeckEye said...


You can't be pissed at Halloween. Halloween is awesome. I got pissed at one of my roommates because he screwed up our awesome costume plans though. I live with a married couple, so I suggested that we be the cast of "Three's Company." The missus was into it, but the mister didn't want to be Jack Tripper. Dick. So we've decided to be the Peanuts gang. Or at least as many of the Peanuts gang as we can get...I think we've managed to recruit a Charlie Brown and a Marcie.

danielle970 said...

It's been a while since I've read your blog, and just now realized that I missed it so much!!

I've always hated Halloween, don't feel bad. But this year.... this year will be different.

words...words...words... said...

I feel you on the Post Office. There are always like three people milling around and doing nothing while the line is out the door. It's like MF'ing Rite Aid up in there.

And the only difference between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans in the last five years is the timbre of their annoying accent.

But finally, who can argue with Corgis eating a shoe? Someone needs to let that guy on the left in on the action though. You can tell he wants to, but he's going to wait to be invited.