Sometimes you need to vent. When you have a blog, you vent in public. It’s a 21st Century quirk. Here are some things that are stickin’ in my craw lately. Please feel free to commiserate.
The Post Office: I went to mail a package on my lunch break today, and there’s a line out the door. Three people are working, looking miserable in that distinct "Postal employee" way. At least two other able-bodied, cash register-trained workers are milling about aimlessly, not doing anything while the line persists. Listen, I know "the mail never stops," and wearing a uniform’s a drag, but you guys get pensions, free health care and freakin’ Columbus Day off! Would it kill you to jump behind the counter and sell some stamps?
Halloween: Traditionally, All Hallow’s Eve is one of my favorite holidays. So maybe I am officially old because this year I kind of can’t be bothered. Me and some friends planned to dress up as the cast of "Mad Men," and I was excited about that, but now I’m realizing that means combing thrift stores for an outfit and figuring out how to give myself Peggy Olson bangs, never mind finding a party to go to, and I’m not really sure I’m up for it.
My sinuses: I know I complain about my allergies a lot, but they made me miss trivia last night, and I hear there was an Irish Heritage/Kennedy category that I would have KILLED, so now its personal. I’ve had a wheezy cough and a constant sinus headache for a few years now, I’ve made peace with that. But for the last week, I’ve also had a runny nose, lots of sneezing and general exhaustion. It might be time for me to suck it up and start getting “the shots.”
Nouveau Red Sox fans: I only became a “serious” Red Sox fan in the late ‘90s, so it feels weird to call out newbies, but after hearing some people complain about getting bounced by the Angels in the ALDS, I gotta pull some rank. The Red Sox have won two World Series in 5 years. We have nothing to complain about. There are a million teams (OK, 22) who would have killed just to make the playoffs. The reason losses like ’86, ’99 and ’03 used to hurt so badly was because we hadn’t won in forever and wondered if we ever would. That’s over. Quit complaining. You sound like a-holes. Or worse, Yankee fans.
The fact that it's only Tuesday: Honestly, this is probably what it all boils down to.
You know what? I think it's time for some corgi puppies eating a shoe. There's nothing that can't be solved with corgi puppies eating a shoe.
Ahhh, much better.