Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Rant: Someone Get Peggy Olsen on This!

So I'm house sitting this week...which means I don't have my DVR...which means I watch things I normally wouldn't...like Dancing With the Stars. But that's not important right now! What's really troubling are the ads they run during the show (I also don't usually watch commercials anymore, which has made my life perhaps a zillion times better. Yep. Definitely a zillion). These ads are mostly aimed at women and they mostly piss me off! (Look out, Brand New. The femi-nazi hat is comin' out!)

Take the ad for Latisse, featuring Brook Sheilds, a prescription formula which promises to "grow eyelashes, making them longer, thicker and darker." Because, obviously, if you don't have long, thick, dark lashes, you are not beautiful, doncha know? WTF, world? We have to worry about our gd eyelashes now?! This also pisses me off when I think about the current heath care fiasco in this country. Give lots of money to drug companies, they say. It will help find a cure for terrible diseases, they cry. Uh, no. Actually, millions will be spent to research, develop and market a product so women DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THEIR EYELASHES!!!

Also, when did they start advertising Nutella a) in the US and b) as a health food? Moms, I know it's really tough to get your kids to eat toast(!) in the morning, so just slather it with this chocolate hazelnut spread! Not only will your kids eat that disgusting toast, they'll be well on their way to obese diabetes-ville!

We are all doomed.


MichelleSG said...

Bring it woman, BRING IT. I wanna see that hat.

Andra said...

Amen, sister! Preach it!:)

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Products like that are often found as a side result of looking for something else.

A product like, say, Viagra was found because someone was trying to find a way to help those suffering from heart disease. It didn't work so well for that, but worked for erectile dysfunction.

Unfortunately, with the way the drug companies have been demonized, all we see is "boner pills" and not "ways that could potentially have been used to help those with heart disease."

Or, you know, something that was originally showing signs of being a glaucoma drug is shown to grow fuller eyelashes. So, it gets marketed as such. And now, apparently, there's an uproar over it, and, again, it's apparently the fault of the drug companies, and not the people who are buying the compound to make themselves more beautiful--something which women have been trying to do since Cleopatra's time and probably before.

Yep. The money that the drug companies make off this drug won't be used to help fund internal programs for diseases like cancer or heart disease or any of a thousand other diseases that are studied every day inside the labs of the evil, uncaring drug companies. All those scientists just take the money made off the backs of the poor, poor women in this country who want fuller eyebrows and then light their cigars with them.

Yep. It's all the drug companies' fault.

We should leave the advancement of science up to the academics! All they want to do is help. Oh, and make themselves famous by publishing papers on worthless studies that they make their slave labor work out for them. Oh, and open up research labs based on their findings in academia in hopes that the bigger drug companies will buy them up. Yep. Academics don't have any concern in this world except for the plight of their poor, stricken fellow man.

BeckEye said...

Yeah, that Latisse shit is all kinds of ridonk. I'm glad that women can now have 5 foot long eyelashes and no men will be denied a long-lasting, possibly dangerous erection, but if you get cancer, you're still kinda fucked.

BeckEye said...

That was quite a rant by Mjenks, by the way. I'm kind of turned on. And I didn't need any drugs to get that way.

red said...

Touche, mjenks, though I didn't blame it all on the drug companies. I did say, "WTF, world?"

However, I still think it's wrong this product exists at all, as it is totally unnecessary and only serves to make women feel bad about themselves. No one will live a longer, happier life because they have fuller eyelashes.

And I'm assuming it's your field, as you are obviously sensitive about it, but there are some serious issues with drug companies. Obviously, they do a lot of good, but they are not beyond reproach.

Of course, I'm practically a socialist pinko who thinks not everything should be for profit, so I'm pretty sure we will never see eye to eye on some things.

Love ya, though. Mean it!

Brand New said...

Stop your ranting and fix your lashes. You do want to get promoted at work don't you?

words...words...words... said...

After reading that post and all the comments, the only thing I can't shake is that you are watching Dancing With The Stars. Seriously, you gotta knock that shit off. There has to be something better on. Are you housesitting in 1976?

Liz said...

Whoa, it got intense up in here! It never fails to amaze me which topics get people talking.

feathers said...

I love Nutella.... and I think Lattise is stupid.

But if someone else purchased it for me... i'd prolly use it.

please still be my friend, red!

Mike said...

I bought nutella just to see what all the fuss is about but I agree it certainly shouldn't be advertised as a health food. It's maybe something you would use as a dessert.

Here's the thing about Nutella though. It advertises itself as the original chocolate hazelnut spread, but when I was a kid I had a friend who's mom used to buy something called Pinko or maybe it was spelled Pinco. Anyway it was the exact same thing as Nutella and she used to buy it from a Russian store in Los Angeles. Does anyone else remember this?

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