Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Which Fictional Character Would You Date?

It's time again for a retarded, hypothetical question from your dear friend, Red. The question is pretty self explanatory. Here are my answers (because you know I can't have just one):

Jim: The Office - I think you all know why at this point. He's just so, well, fun. Of course, I'd have to arrange an Eternal Sunshine on his brain to erase all memories of that Pam person.

Lloyd Dobler: Say Anything - I've mentioned before, Lloyd Dobler ruined women of my generation (though, I admit, I would find the playing-the-Peter-Gabriel-outside-my-window-bit a tad creepy).

Ferris Buller: Ferris Buller's Day Off - How great would it be to date Ferris? He'd get you out of class and you'd spend all day hanging out in Chicago. Best. Day. Ever.

Imagine me where Mia Sara is standing.

Crash Davis: Bull Durham - I have a thing for baseball players, what can I say? Plus, you know that guy is good in the sack.

Max Fischer: Rushmore - I'm a sucker for the goofy, awkward guy and it doesn't get much more goofy and awkward than Max Fischer.

Nick Andopolis: Freaks and Geeks - He's a bit crazy, but he's so passionate about Lindsay...and his ridiculously large drum is that not just a little endearing?

Mr. Darcy: Pride & Prejudice - Sure, he can be a pretentious ass, but in a all-your-hard-work-to-win-him-will-be-worth-it kinda way.

So, basically, to sum-up, I like nerds, stalkers and assholes. I don't see a problem with this at all. You?


Anonymous said...

I don't know for sure, but I'd say I would probably date Snow White.

Sure she's a simple retard, but she sleeps soundly for long stretches of time - and what guy wouldn't like THAT?

Falwless said...


Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant) - Bridget Jones's Diary -- Is there a sexier man ever?

William Thacker (Hugh Grant) - Notting Hill -- Is there a sexier man ever?

The Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) - Love Actually -- Is there a sexier man ever?

Am I getting my point across here?!??! AM I??? I love you, Hugh Grant!

Okay, okay, but seriously, I have to add:

Jesse (Ethan Hawke) - Before Sunrise / Before Sunset -- I mean, c'mon, he's so damn charming.

Oliver Martin (Ashton Kutcher) - A Lot Like Love -- Adorable, accessible, flawed, loveable.

Ian Miller (John Corbett) - My Big Fat Greek Wedding -- Need I even expound? What a sweetheart.

Aidan Shaw (John Corbett) - Sex and the City -- Oh dear god, I still can't get over him. So very very swoonable. He just exudes sexy from all pores.

Jack Berger (Ron Livingston) - Sex and the City -- Okay, so minus the Post-It break-up, is there a more yummy, charming guy (besides Aidan)??

Dr. Mark Sloan (Eric Dane) - Grey's Anatomy -- Listen, I don't even watch this show and I want to undress that man and do unholy things to him.

Jess Mariano (Milo Ventimiglia) - Gilmore Girls -- Is there a better tortured-soul bad boy than Jess? Mmmmm. Delicious.

Ross Gellar (David Schwimmer) - Friends -- Loveable. Hot. Corny. Smart. Did I mention hot?

Falwless said...

I really should get a life.

pistols at dawn said...

Ladies, when you can list more fake relationships you'd like to have than relationships you have had, it's time to get that ratio a little closer to 1:1. You know the number one pretty well, right? It's the loneliest number, after all.

I'd just watch All the Real Girls again, weep, and swear off love forever.

Anonymous said...

*wakes up after reading Falwless's comment. Damn, Hugh Grant? REALLY? You know he likes coked out hookers, right?

I will be looking forward to a male version of this post to follow soon.

Red said...

dopeypants (is that what we are calling you now?): God you are a funny mothereffer.

Fal: Excellent list. I especially like Jess, Aiden and Jesse. Well done, lady. (Also, I am replying to the comments. Do you love me again?)

Pistols: If it weren't for imaginary relationships, I'd never have any relationships at all.

Slinger: You won't find it here. Our fellas never post.

BeckEye said...

Ferris Bueller, definitely. He's awesome. I always blew off school too, but I never had any fun. I needed him badly during high school.

Let's see, who else...

Danny Zuko. Bud Davis. George Malley. Tony Manero (in his loincloth days, not his thug youth riding around in a car with date rapists). Maybe even Vincent Vega.

Oh, and Wooderson. Alright, alright, alright.

BeckEye said...

Fal, I get Alex Fletcher, Hugh's character from that awesome movie you don't like, "Music and Lyrics." I would make him sing "Pop Goes My Heart" to me every night.

larsmcmanus said...

How about Cat Deeley on So You Think You Can Dance? I'm a sucker for a 6 foot 5 blonde Amazon with a British accent!

Falwless said...

I don't need your judgment, Pistols, I have enough of my own in my cold heart.

Falwless said...

slinger--So? Who doesn't?

Malcolm said...

Although Lloyd Dobler is a character that guys can relate to, he did ruin alot of women who saw that movie. Luckily, I haven't dated any women who expected me to stand outside their window blasting the sounds of that "Shock the Monkey" dude.

Your comments about Nick Andapolis reminds me of one of my favorite eps of Freaks and Geeks (the one where his dad says that if he doesn't get his grades up, he's going into the military). Maybe I'll pull out the boxed set and watch an ep... damn, I just remembered I loaned it to a friend.

Anonymous said...

@falwless - that is true. Everyone has their guilty pleasures.

Molly said...

I always preferred Cameron to Ferris