Wherein I Prove John Krasinski and I are Made for Each Other

NBC’s Comedy Night Done Right (a title I feel the need to use as much as possible because it’s so awesomely bad) finally returns tonight with all new episodes. It’s been way too long since we all hung out with Liz Lemon and Michael Scott (unfortunately, we were reunited with Earl last week. He does not look good, friends. He needs to have some work done). Of course, I’m most excited to see Jim Halpert again…mainly because John Krasinski and I are destined to become lovers. Observe:

John Krasinski	Red
Born Oct. 20, 1979	Born November 30, 1978 (see the similarity there? No? Okay, fine. Me neither.)
Has a B.A. in English Literature from Brown University	Has a B.A. in English Literature from a school almost as good as Brown…or a school once named the #2 Party School in America. I forget which.
Thought about becoming a high school English teacher, but became an actor instead.	Thought about becoming a high school English teacher, but became an evil Warmonger instead.
Works in a pretend office for a living and dates the cute receptionist.	Works in a real office for a living and never sees members of the opposite sex under 55.
Sometimes gets to make movies with George Clooney.	Sometimes gets to watch movies starring George Clooney.
Writes adorably funny things like this where he imagines his life as an English teacher: “I go by Mr. K. I'm teaching English at a prep school in rural Connecticut. In my class, homework is not homework, it's preparation for the next day. I love teaching books that have been pigeonholed as 'epics,' and my big thing is discovering for yourself why you like them. I'd have a lot of stuff written in some cryptic way on the whiteboard where you can't understand it until we start talking about the book. I'd throw desk supplies off bridges... I've gone out on several dates with the bio teacher. Her name is Sarah, and she's just a really great girl. I'm more gregarious than she is; she brings me into the underground indie-world stuff and I bring her sonnets. It's weird because the kids are talking about this new show called The Office and they're like, ‘You guys are so much like Pam and Jim!’ and I'm like, ‘I don't have a TV. Sorry, I'm not into pop culture stuff.’” Posted on ew.com	Imagines writing adorably funny things and sometimes writes them down, but mostly forgets them and pumps out inane bullshit instead.

I think I totally proved my case here.

If I told you I'll try to be less boy crazy next week, would you really even believe me?