Thursday, February 21, 2008

If America Got it Right Vol. I

Today we embark on an incredible journey, friends...the journey to find the next American Idol. After 2 nights of singing 60's music, four kids must be sent home. As they say, dreams were made to be broken, so here's who should be sent home tonight:

The Fellas
Garrett Haley - The Peter Frampton lookalike must go. Now. Before Vote for the Worst makes him the next Sanjaya.

Luke Menard - He may be pretty, but I prefer my pretty boys talented and interesting.

On Notice
- Chikezie (for losing his last name and being a prick) and Colton Berry

The Ladies
Amy Davis - Yikes! Her version of Where the Boys Are was downright painful. I couldn't take another week of her sounding like a bag of tortured cats...errr...I mean "singing."

Kristy Lee Cook - Again, pretty, but if you only sound good singing Amazing Grace, you're probably not winning this thing.

On Notice
- Joanne Borgella and Kady Malloy

I'm still loving Carly Smithson (even if her song choice last night was dreadful) and I'm glad Jason Castro finally got some air time because his Jack Johnson/Jason Mraz sound is totally working for me. Is it working for you, too? Who do you hope gets the boot tonight?


Liz said...

Whoa, there's a Malloy on American Idol?

doorknob_dan said...

This is the fucking freakiest thing I've ever witnessed.

You seee, up here in the frozen north we have our own Canadian Idol TV show. The winner a few years ago was a kid named Kalan Porter.

Look at the picture of Garrett Haley and then look at a picture of Kalan Porter.

I can't tell them apart!

Oh, and hi by the way!

Red said...

Hi yourself.

That is really effing freaky.

I love Canadian Idol! I watched season 4 (through the awesome power of the internet) when Eva Avila won. I LOVE Ben Mulroney and wish he would come host the US version (because we like to steal great things from around the world). I also loved Keith MacPherson (who was in the top 24 and was eliminated way too early) because of his gingerness, obvs.

I'm also dying to see season 1 of the Canadian version of Top Model with Tricia Helfer as host.

(I told you I love Canada)

doorknob_dan said...

Canada loves you too! Well, as far as I know anyways.

I haven't tuned into American Idol or TV in general for months. But seeing this picture screwed me right up! I though, "Hmm, that kid moved south or something? The traitor!" Then I realized it was someone else.

Red said...

Are you one of those "I don't watch TV, I listen to NPR" people? If so, i retract my proposal.

doorknob_dan said...

I guess I watch TV but only South Park, Family Guy, The Office, and late night stuff like the Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

I'm embarassed to say I've never watched CSI, Law and Order, 24, or any other primetime TV shows. I watched a few of the first episodes of Survivor once though, does that count?

Actually I'm not really embarassed, I'm pretending so our e-wedding can still go on!

Red said...

I was just concerned you were one of those people who refuse to watch TV because they think it will create world peace or something.

You watch The Office. That's good enough for me...

Falwless said...

Dude, you were 2 for 4! And actually 4 for 4 if we count the people you put on notice! I am highly impressed, Red, highly impressed.

Also, I am so relieved to see Garrett Haley go. WTF. WAS. THAT. PERFORMANCE.

In other news, could Michael Johns and Jason Castro be any more f-able? My god. I call dibs.

doorknob_dan said...

The only reason I don't watch much TV is because I have even *less* productive wastes of time going on instead.

World peace? Nah. I choose explosions, bathroom humor, and frittering my life away.

Red said...

Thanks Falwless. I was pretty proud of America for getting things right. I think Luke and Kristy were saved by their pretty face.

And you can't call dibs on both! That's just not fair!

Dan, as long as you hate world peace, the wedding is officially back on.

doorknob_dan said...


I hope your idea of an awesome honeymoon includes cocktails of the molotov variety and holding hands and walking along the beach while spreading neurotoxins.

If not, well, I'll do whatever you want since you're a redhead.

Crap, I just totally gave in there to you again didn't I?

PS: Please be gentle with me with whatever it is you're going to be making me do in the future.


Red said...

Do I use this power for good or evil? hmmm...

doorknob_dan said...

It's not evil if your intentions are good. Which would excuse me from all sorts of genocide of course.

Anyways, whatever you do with me remember: if you dye your hair a different color we're through.

Red said...

Well, obviously. That goes without saying.

doorknob_dan said...

Well. Now what?

Red said...

We've run out of things to talk about...just like a real married couple.