Monday, April 21, 2008

Who is Your Blogger Crush?

I wavered about posting this for several reasons:

  • It's kinda retarded.
  • It basically alienates half our readers.
  • Did I mention it's retarded?
But then I thought, "Everyone already thinks I'm crazy, so who really cares?" and "I alienate 90% of our readers anytime I write about Battlestar Gallactica, and this one is for the people who actually comment, and screw all those non-commenting readers!" (just kidding, non-commenting readers. I love you. Thanks for reading. Leave a comment.)

So here goes. I have, in my life, developed more crushes on writers than any other group of people (way more than people I actually, you know, meet in person). I've had crushes on Dalton Ross of EW and Anthony Bourdain and even Kurt Vonnegut (and he's one funny looking old dude, God rest him). Since the inception of GitW, I've developed crushes on members of the Blogger "community." There was my well publicized e-love for doornob_dan (which ended when I found out he hates The Beatles), my girl crush on Falwless, and now, my crush on Hick Flick from the sports blog Rumors and Rants. I love Hick Flick for several reasons:

1. His avatar is the cover of the seminal Huey Lewis & The News album, Sports, with his head photoshopped on Huey Lewis' body.

2. He's lives in the Midwest and is a Cubs fan. I've had a crush on every Cubs fan I've ever met (which is like 2 people).

3. He thought Lohan was hotter as a redhead.

4. He writes really funny posts where he references The Big Lebowski, John Krasinski and Bruce Springsteen. Obviously, we are made for each other.

So there you go. Who is your Blogger crush?


BeckEye said...


Wait. I thought you asked which blogger I'd most like to crush.

Red said...

Sure, BeckEye. Sure.

I am convinced every guy has a man crush on Pistols.

Falwless said...

I have a crush on Pistols, too. But it feels like more of a celebrity crush. Does that make sense? Like I'd never actually know him, but I admire him from afar.

The real down and dirty crush has gotta be Jon of Extraneous Kickassery. He has all the elements of a good crush:

1. Hilarious
2. Unattainable/Married
3. Hilarious
4. Spells well
5. Uses complete sentences
6. Makes me seriously laugh
7. Is funny
8. Intelligent
9. So damn funny, my god
10. Easy on the eyes (though I must admit I had no idea what he looked like until crush was already full-on)

And of course you already know of my lust for Josh Wolk.

Great post. To be honest, I'd been thinking about doing this very post for some time. Separated at birth, I tell ya.

Falwless said...

Also, I would be nowhere today without retarded posts. They've made me who I am. Namely, pathetic and lonesome.

sid said...

Dan Murphy from redacted.

Red said...

Fal: I always thought Jon would be good looking from his avatar...which seems totally weird, but whatever.

Sid: Good one! I love [redacted].

doorknob_dan said...

I'd have to go with Pistols too. In a non-sexual way. I'd let him kiss me though if he bought me supper.

Garney said...

I don't have one, but I'll try and get one soon.

pistols at dawn said...

Despite the fact that the Huey Lewis album cover is fantastic, I'd go with Pistols, because I'm a goddamned narcissist.

However, as I noted today, full-time me is not very crushworthy. Still, in a world in which there are Cubs fans, clearly folks love lost causes.

Falwless said...

red--check it out.

Red said...

Dan: Thank you for proving me right. I love being right.

G: I know your blogger crush is on me. You can admit it.

Pistols: I think you captured why everyone wants to make-out with you in that comment.

Fal: Jon is way cuter here than when you PhotoShopped him in a dress.

Jon said...

Fal, Red: Thank you! My avatar and I are both extremely flattered.

Pistols: Damn you and your awesome crush-worthiness.

Garney said...

I thought if I admitted my crush on you Red, things would get

Phillips said...

I'm offended that Hick Flick is the object of your affection, yet I don't even get's a sad, sad day.

Hick Flick said...

This is weird on a number of levels, not the least of which is I now have an explanation for the redhead who has recently been peering into my bedroom with binoculars (not that binoculars are needed. Heyo!)

Another thing I find interesting is the Charlie Brown angle. A number of people seem to think I'm a real-life Charlie Brown -- I have bad luck yet I'm unfailingly optimistic, I own a yellow shirt with a black zig-zag pattern, I am only willing to pay 5 cents for a psychiatrist, and I have three hairs. As you know, he had a crush on the red-haired girl. But in this case, it appears to be the other way around.

Also, I find it adorable that you've only met two Cubs fans. Do you live in Bhutan, by any chance?

And finally, this is eerily reminiscent of how I met my girlfriend in college. I was walking into a bar one night, and I hear a girl say "Oh my God, it's Hick Flick!" (only she used my real name). When I tried to figure out why this was so exciting to her, she said I was her "columnist crush" for the school paper. And we ended up being an item for about six months, which is four months or so longer than anyone else I've been an item with.

So there you have it. Dreams do come true. Or something.