Friday, April 4, 2008

Way to be a buzzkill, DNA

I have an admittedly odd and nonsensical fascination with Russian history. (Did you know that Ivan the Terrible's name was incorrectly translated and that Russians actually called him Ivan the Dread? I SHOULDN’T KNOW THIS!!!) So naturally I’m crazy into the whole Anastasia mystery.

For those of you who don’t independently seek historical information on a country to which you have no ties whatsoever and which was considered America’s nemesis for the better part of a century, here’s what went down: In 1918 a bunch of mean old Bolsheviks shot the entire royal family of Russia for the victimless crime of living in opulence while millions of Russian peasants were starving and dying and stuff. There were always rumors, however, that one of the daughters, Anastasia, somehow managed to get away. A few women came forward years later claiming to be Anastasia, with one in particular giving some rather convincing evidence. For decades it’s been a fascinating mystery that’s inspired all kinds of books, movies and 3 a.m. NOVA specials that I may or may not have watched when I couldn’t sleep one night in high school. (Odd and nonsensical. We’re admitting this.)

But now here comes big bad DNA to ruin everyone’s fun and prove that some old bones found near the Romanovs’ execution site are in fact those of Anastasia. Looks like she got herself shot and killed just like the rest of them. Bor-ing!

Being that it’s Friday, I will hereby cease and desist with the history and science and glimpses into how incredibly cool I was in high school. Instead, I will wish you a weekend full of mystery and adventure and devoid of any DNA evidence whatsoever. Do svidaniya!


BeckEye said...

Maybe she was just trampled by Bigfoot. It's possible.

Red said...

This is officially the nerdiest day in GitW history!

And, to add even more nerdiness, I love the animated movie Anastasia. Great songs (written by Richard Marx, natch).

doorknob_dan said...

DNA lies. *I* am Anastasia!

Or was it Asphyxia? Apoxia? Apoplexia?

One of them. But I'm sure I'm royalty.

Heather said...

I guess her 'Journey to the Past" was shorter than she thought!! AHAHAH!

Disney humor...

pistols at dawn said...

I once posted a dating profile that asked for "Most Embarrassing Moment." I wrote something like, "This one time, I claimed to be Anastasia, the missing member of the Romanov dynasty. Turned out it was true, and boy, was my face red."

Needless to say, said profile was not exactly a big hit.

kelly said...

and this is why we're friends

Nooch said...

This really makes me sad. I love science but we aren't friends for the rest of the day because of this.

gifted typist said...

Me too with the Russians.

When through a serious Motherland phase in the early 90s reading Tolstoy, Dostoevkki and listening to Tchaickovsky. Even went to Moscow and saw Lenin in the flesh - ok yes, it was dead flesh but, you know.

My daughter's second name is Anastasia. I'd heard about this DNA story, and always sort of knew it would be the case. But as you say, it sort of spoils the romance.

Those damned Russians!