Wednesday, April 30, 2008

If America Got It Right: Top 5

Apparently, American Idol has been doing market research in an effort to boost ratings (because being the #1 show for 6 years isn't enough). I think we saw the fruits of that research last night with more songs, no retarded filler and less Seacrest (*sniff*). 10 performances in 60 minutes seemed like a whirlwind and produced a mixed bag. Here's who should go home tonight:

David Archuleta - I'm convinced Little David's father has threatened the lives of the judges or something. Last night was awful and yet the judges praised him like he's the second coming of Clay Aiken. He ruined Sweet Caroline (one of the greatest songs ever) and gave another totally showchoir performance with America. Bad, bad, badbadbad. That's all I can say. Of course, I don't think he will be in the bottom 2 (I think Syesha will be there again, even if I finally really liked her this week...well, her vocals anyway). Also, I read Carly was gonna sing a stripped down Sweet Caroline with a piano and a cello. How awesome would that have been?

Jason Castro - Oh, my hippie friend. It seems you've given up. Your performances were boring and not very good. I hope your bags are packed, pumpkin. We will miss you.

The Best - David Cook, of course. His version of All I Need is You was terrific (a song, I admit, I'd never heard. I'm not all that familiar with The Jewish Elvis). I'm beginning to worry, though, if winning this thing will really be in David's favor (and it will definitely make it harder for me to meet him and let him fall in love with me...even if I have to compete with the bitches from UCLA).

Hot Tranny Mess - Brooke White. I loathe I'm a Believer because for 2 years straight I listened to the version from Shrek 4 times a day, 5 days a week (not by choice, mind you). The song gives me fits. Add Brooke's wonky movement whenever she sings something up tempo, and it was a big ol' mess for me.

Song I'd Sing This Week - You Don't Bring Me Flowers because it's so awesomely bad.

[EDIT:9:14am] - About the Paula frak I honestly just thought it was Paula acting looney (as usual), but reading about it this morning, it does appear there is something funny going on. Is AI trying to manufacture a David/David finale? And if so, why? What's the world coming to if we can't even trust the authenticity of an overproduced "talent" show?!?


BeckEye said...

I found Cookie pretty boring. I'm afraid he's falling into the "yeah, he can sing but so what" category with the Little Lord. Sorr-ay. Just being honest. :)

His 2nd song was better than the first, but they kinda sounded the same. I guess he just hit some more impressive notes the 2nd time. Still looks good with the scruff, but that jacket was an abomination. And his head is looking very square again.

Paula's derailment was the most entertaining part of the evening. I can't wait to hear the damage control bullshit they try to come up with tonight.

I would've sung "Porcupine Pie" because it was a favorite of mine when I was little. But it's almost a novelty song, so I would've been voted off. Syesha took my 2nd choice - "Thank the Lord for the Night Time," my fave Neil tune.

I was surprised no one sang "Cracklin' Rosie."

Falwless said...

Interesting article you linked to in your edit, and I read Slezak's take on it, too... I don't know, the more I read the more I'm wondering as well. It'll be interesting to see how they address this this evening. I'm looking forward to it.

Garney said...

The bottom 2 will be the girls... and Brooke is going home. I'm just going to say that every week until it's true (which won't be this week because it's most likely going to be Syesha).

The bottom 2 should be Jason and Brooke (I Am I Said was great but not enough to makeup for I'm a Believer) with Jason going home, but it's just not going to happen.

I agree that Cook was the best and hear what you're saying about Archuleta even if I don't agree entirely (which is to say I do not exactly disagree - cool points for anyone who recognizes that movie quote).

I would have rocked out with Girl You'll Be a Woman Soon for my first song and then put together an artsy version of Solitary Man that would start slow and soft while building in intensity to all-out rock but then finish with an awesome acapella refrain.

doorknob_dan said...

Paula Abdul almost makes it enough to tune in to watching just for her retardedness!

Notcie how none of them were laughing at her, they were already in 'Holy shit' mode? There's more to this than meets the eye - unless it's a sweeps week scandal.

Gifted Typist said...

I wish someone would pal-lease explain the appeal of David A to me. I'm at a loss. OK yes, there's the Tween vote as BeckEye has said, but why would the producers of this show want such a vacant, uninspired character as their idol?
Are they looking for a male Miley Cyrus?

Red said...

I don't know why anyone would want Little David to win. I don't think he'll sell many records. It's a mystery to me, too.