Tuesday, April 1, 2008

If America Got it Right: Top 9

Dear Dolly,

You used to be so lovely. Why do you (and Priscilla Presley) insist on botoxing yourself beyond recognition? It's very sad. I still love you though. You are amazing (even if Dollywood is the lamest theme park I've ever been to).



With that out of the way, David Cook got a haircut!!! It was the final step in my everlasting devotion to him. AND he gave props to the arrangers of the songs he sang in the past weeks (happy now, Heather?). He is amazing. And Michael Kors is in the audience. Could this night be any better?

Anyway, on to the losers:

Ramiele Malubay - Okay, little one. Time for you to go. I still fear her Asian stronghold will keep her around for another week, but she has become, by far, the weakest contestant in the competition.

Kristy Lee Cook - I'd actually be surprised if Kristy Lee is in the bottom 3, but she should be. For being incredibly boring if nothing else.

Syesha Mercado - I Will Always Love You? Really? What the hell was she thinking? It wasn't that it was bad, but it was predictable and no one will ever sing it as well as Whitney and shouldn't really try. Add that to her unlikeablity (I don't think she could be less likable if she murdered a puppy on stage while singing a Hitler youth anthem), and I think she's headed home this week.

The Best - Carly Smithson (with the song I picked to sing last week) and David Archuleta were, vocally, the best singers all night (this is still a singing competition, right?). However, Michael Johns wins for being so damn sexy. No hot messes this week.

Song I'd Sing This Week - Because I am a moron, I picked the Dolly song I'd sing this week for last week (because it came out the year I was born), so my second choice would be Islands in the Stream. You?


BeckEye said...

Oh snap, I forgot to mention David's haircut. SO much better.

Michael Johns = walking sex. He just needs to walk it this way.

Falwless said...

Yeah, I was very pleased with David C.'s haircut. VERY.

I would have sang, coincidentally, "Travelin' Thru", Castro's choice...

Garney said...

I think you're right on with the bottom 3 and that Syesha will be going home. I'll be surprised if Kristy Lee Cook isn't in the bottom 3. I think this week hurts her because all the country fans that would normally be a default vote for her will now actually be spread among everyone else who did WAY better.

Michael Johns did do a great job, but I'd put him second to Archuleta.

Most of the Dolly Parton songs I know are from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, so I think I might do a disco version of 9 to 5, like if The Bee Gees sang it.

Nathaniel said...

What are talking about its a great summer at dollywood. http://www.dollywood.com/festivals-events/

Liz said...

Can I just say how jealous I am that you've been to Dollywood?!?! Even if you didn't like it. Its been a dream of mine to go there for a while. And I'm not even being ironic.

PS: I prefer Dolly's version of I will always Love You. I'm not a huge fan of BIG singing.

Red said...

Dollywood is lame (unless you like big stage productions. They have them in spades and they are very well done)

However, she does have a water park that's pretty fun and awesome if you are stuck in Tennessee in the summer. Like Nathaniel will be. Sweating profusely. Good luck with that, N.